A Ball And Chain
by lunastars
Summary: As the Governor's next victim, Beth has no choice but to pull herself together. After weeks of torture will Beth be the same person or will her capture change her forever? – Multiple pairings (eventual [mainly] Meth). AU - Various warnings and possible spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT Author's Note:**

_Firstly, this fic is more AU than anything I've ever done, although there is a TWD fic I have planned that will be even more AU so this will be good practice (I hope). This one is still set in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and seen as the Governor is part of this story I'd say that season 3 is where we're setting this story, but that's not to say that you'll see many events from season 3 or that we'll follow the season at all. Do be careful though, spoilers may slip in, who knows? Plus, as far as I know I'm keeping the events of season 1 and 2 pretty much the same._

_Anyway, this is primarily going to end up as a Meth fic. If you don't like the pairing, leave now. If you do then, hey! (We should talk and go crazy over them together!) We won't be rushing into Meth so you won't see them together properly for a while, but you will get interactions of some kind and see them 'grow' as characters I guess you can say, that I can certainly promise you._

**Pairings as of yet: **_Meth (Merle/Beth), possible Beth/Martinez if you squint really really hard, possible slight Caryl (Daryl/Carol), and a bit of Glenn/Maggie (note: more pairings may arise)_

_Certain things may not correspond with information online, displayed on the show or what you may know. This could be ages, the actions of certain characters and so on._

**WARNING**_**: **__This fic will contain __violence__, __**possible **__upsetting scenes__, __mentions of assault__, __trauma__, and __adult scenes__._

_I will add a 'warning' notice at the beginning of each chapter so that you guys know which warnings will be in which chapter. I will also warn you if new things have popped up and/or how intense said warnings are._

_Anyway, sorry for the looooong A/N but I needed to let you guys know a few things before we jumped into this! So if you read this then thank you so much, I hope you like it. And if you have any questions don't be afraid to leave it in a review or PM me._

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><p><strong>Chapter 1.<br>**  
>Beth screamed as her hair was yanked and she was dragged. Between her screams and her feeble attempts at trying to remove the hand tangled in her hair, she also tried to keep up right. Every so often she would lose her footing and her knees would hit the floor. Her attacker of course wouldn't stop so she was forced to be dragged along the hard, concrete floor until she was able to get to her feet again. The pulsing in her head and the tears in her eyes made her pretty sure that her hair was close to being ripped out at the roots. She was angry at herself for ending up in this situation but even angrier that another human being could be so violent and forceful without even talking to her first. She knew where she was and who she was with, well, sort of. She figured she was in Woodbury because she figured that the man dragging her though these dark, dank corridors was working for the Governor.<p>

Their battles with the Governor were getting out of hand. They had met Michonne and everything seemed normal until of course they weren't. The Governor had a vendetta against her and the group were too loyal to let Michonne give herself up or even risk doing anything alone. Beth had been behind that choice as well, Michonne was a good asset and clearly a good ally. The only time Beth's back-up of this decision flattered was when Andrea managed to escape and return to them, a man named Milton in toe. The group were suspicious, especially of Milton who was the Governor's second hand man from what they'd heard, but after hearing everything about the Governor (what he was really like, for example) the group gave Milton a chance.

It had all been good decsions, Beth still stood by that, even in her current situation. There had been attacks, taunts and a lot of planning from both sides but then the Governor laid dormant. There was no real reason to attack Woodbury. Andrea, Milton and Michonne all agreed that majority of it's residents were genuinely good people and didn't deserve to be in the middle of the war. Without any real cause or proof that the Governor would be there, Rick refused to storm the place. Upon hearing about the number of children, elderly and disabled at Woodbury most of the group agreed that an attack on the town would be more of a loss than a win.

Beth was torn from her thoughts as she was thrown through a doorway. She hit the ground hard, bruising more of her body for sure. As she groaned in pain she heard the man laughing behind her. Clearly he wasn't leaving just yet. He had thrown her through on purpose when he could just have easily of dragged her through. Beth was finding it hard to decide if the pain of her hair being almost pulled out was better or worse than the pain of being pushed full force onto a concrete floor. It saddened Beth deeply to think about how her life had come to her deciding between such things.

"Get her up and take her over to the wall."

The man who had dragged Beth stepped towards her again. She tried to keep her cool and not react, not wanting to give them the satisfaction, but it was all too clear that she was shaking like a leaf. The man laughed as he picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder this time. Beth couldn't help the sigh of relief that left her mouth, at least he wasn't trying to remove attached parts or break her.

"Just the 'cuffs for now."

Beth gulped. Her feet hit the floor but the man grabbed her wrists quickly. He pulled them behind her back and secured a pair of handcuffs. As he worked she was able to see passed him. Another man stood in the middle of the room. This man wore an eye patch and looked surprisingly well dressed for this kind of situation. The Governor.

The handcuffs cut into her wrists sharply, but she figured if she audibly complained then they would only be tightened not loosened. The Governor studied her for a moment, moving about as he did, no words ever leaving his lips. A slight nod had the other man's hands on Beth again. He pulled her back more towards the wall. To her surprise half of the the handcuffs were unlocked. The hand that still had the handcuff attached was lifted into the air. Her eyes follow her hand to see a chain. The chain had a loop at the end which the handcuff went through. The chain was slack, giving her arm a little bit of movement. The other hand was attached to the chain on the other side with another pair of handcuffs and then the man stepped away.

Beth felt some relief but she knew it probably wasn't over yet. As the man stepped passed the Governor, Beth followed him with her eyes. He reached a small control area, in that area was a handle. The man turned it repeatedly, as if winding something up. A sharp pain shot through Beth's arm and she knew what it was. The chains were tightening and her arms were being pulled. The force was just enough to mean that she couldn't lower them, not even a little, and it would surely cause her even more serious pain after a while, but it wasn't enough to rip her arms away or dislocate her shoulders, yet. Beth knew she wasn't exactly heavy but she knew if she was left like that for her entire stay here then God knows what could happen, she only prayed her group would find her.

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><p>Hours passed and Beth was still hanging. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't so exhausted. Every time her eyes closed and her legs gave way, she would fall. The pain of her body tugging on her restrained, extended arms was always enough to jolt her awake. Between her jelly legs, her tired eyes and the growing pain in her shoulders Beth was ready to quit. She refused to cry and moan for help but it was becoming damn near impossible. She would do <em>anything<em> just to be set down for a bit, she'd do more to gain her freedom.

The door opened suddenly and she tried to stand a little straighter. The Governor walked in and this time he was with a different man. This one, Beth knew, was Martinez. There was never something quite right about him. They'd managed a few measly, calm talks between Rick and the Governor before things really went sour and Martinez had always sounded like he was on the fence. Daryl seemed to have some sort of respect for the guy, just seemed to believe that Martinez had chosen badly. Beth figured that if any of these people were her escape route, it was him. No friendly resident of Woodbury would venture to where she was, she had figured that already.

Beth's mouth watered slightly as the Governor sat down on a chair and pulled out a bottle of water. He brought it to his lips, drinking almost a third of it in one gulp. After the cap was secured he started to munch on a chocolate bar. Beth had gone a long while without food, or at least without much food, but this time it felt different, this time it was different. Her stomach growled and the Governor smirked in response. He finished off the chocolate bar and drowned the rest of his water. When he was done he rolled the empty bottle towards her. It hit her feet and Beth watched in agony as a drop of water dripped from the open lid.

The Governor's movements caught her eye. He moved to the handle. He unwound the chains slightly and Beth felt some relief. There was a burning pain from the strain on her arms but it felt so much better. This pain she welcomed more, this one was at least warm and dull. But her relief was short lived. The Governor tightened the chains. Beth bit her bottom lip, breaking skin. When he loosened them again, Beth didn't even take a moment to enjoy the relief, instead she anticipated.

The Governor kept it up. On the fourth time Beth finally begged him to stop. Her arms didn't feel like her own anymore, they were numb but the pain still hung around, especially in her shoulders. If her legs weren't so weak she could hold herself up and stop the pain, or at least calm it down. She begged and she begged for him to stop but he kept on going. Yanking her arms back up, harder and faster each time.

"Please!" Beth cried, tears spilling over now, splashing onto the concrete at her feet. "Stop it, just let me go!"

"I can't," the Governor said, tightening the chains a little more. "I need you."

"Michonne won't give herself up, they won't let her," Beth tried to reason. "And if my group are smart then they won't race in here. God knows when they'll come or if they even will. Please, just let me leave."

"Well if they don't come then I have no use for you." Beth would have been excited by the news but his cold tone told her it was anything but good. "The only way you're leaving this room is dead or to be killed."

He tightened the chains a little more, tighter than they had been before. As he turned to leave Beth broke down. Between her sobs she begged him, promising to do anything if he just let her down. Her cries were getting louder and more horrifying in sound as he stepped closer to the door. She screamed, her voice already hoarse as he stepped through the door and his footsteps led away. Despite the pain she thrashed against the chains, hoping to draw him back to her. She had only been taken yesterday, and this was the first time she had met the Governor and been held like this, yet Beth felt like this was the kind pain she should feel after days of being captive, she cried harder at how much worse things to get.

It was then that she noticed Martinez still standing there. He didn't look sad or sorry but he didn't look thrilled or excited either which was good in Beth's books. With pleading eyes she tried to stay on her feet. It didn't help that she was practically on her tip toes. She didn't dare open her mouth as the tears continued to follow. She just kept her eyes firmly on him. Eventually emotion showed through. He looked at the ground sadly as he opened the door again.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Beth screamed again as he stepped from the room and shut the door behind him.

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><p><strong>AN: **_Not much right now in terms of what we are going to get later on. __Although she may appear defenceless and like she needs a hero at times, Beth will hold her own at times in this fic and she will have this strength that you'll see grow throughout. I really don't want Beth to be too much of a damsel in distress throughout this. __You may see the old, crude Merle but I'm hoping to turn him into the Merle I think we would have seen in season 4 had things gone differently._

_Anyway, what did you guys think of chapter 1? I'd love to know. On a side note, seen as there's various meanings of Ball and Chain, I chose it for the title mainly because of this definition: "a heavy metal ball secured by a chain to the leg of a prisoner to prevent escape."_

_I promise that A/N's will not be this long on every chapter unless there's an issue, a really important note or just a general reply to everyone._

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><p>R&amp;R<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** _Just a little note, I planned this/wrote the first chapter before we got season 4 or any promo stuff for it._

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><p><strong>Chapter 2.<strong>

It felt like hours for Beth before the door opened again. If it wasn't for the pain and her struggle to keep balance, she would have fallen asleep standing up. Every inch of energy was drained from her, only the adrenaline keeping her going. It was all taking so much out of her that she didn't even bother to see who had entered the door. Usually it meant no good and she doubted that was going to change. Maybe they were going to actually cut her arms off now, she was confident the pain would be lesser.

To her surprise the chains loosened. Her arms started to slack, causing heat to radiate through her arms. She could barely feel them and the heat only caused her pain. The chains continued to loosen. As her feet went flat on the ground she swayed a little, too disorientated to stay up straight. The last few turns of that crank seemed to take the longest, but as they finally loosened completely her arms dropped and dragged her down with them. They were dead weight and she could barely lift them. She curled up in a ball as best as she could with her hands still chained.

Whoever had let her down still hadn't spoke. Beth listened as they came closer to her. Footsteps light but still growing in volume. She was confident she could rule the Governor out, he wouldn't let her down without taunting her. Unless the taunting was yet to come. She would take anyone over him, even the guy who had almost ripped her hair out and nearly broken several bones.

"Beth?"

She peaked but didn't move, to see Martinez, the last person she expected. Sure he seemed like her best way out but after he walked away and left her, Beth was confident that he wouldn't come to her rescue easily.

"I bought you something to eat and drink," he said softly.

In response Beth curled up further. Her mind was in a whirl. First he didn't help her, now he was. Early the Governor taunted her with an empty bottle of water, now she was getting a meal. Beth wasn't sure what to think, who to trust and what to do. All she wanted to do was fall to sleep and wake up to find out this was all a horrible dream. As a bonus maybe she'd wake up on the farm and the everything in the world would be right, no Walkers in sight.

"Beth, you need to eat," he urged. "I'm sorry I didn't help you earlier but trust me, this food won't hurt you."

"Why should I believe you?" she questioned, voice cracking slightly.

"Because poison in your food is a bit too easy for the Governor."

She turned her head to look at him. "What food?"

"Cheese sandwich. I also got you some apple juice. It's a little cold but that might soothe you a little and I figured it would taste much better than water."

Slowly Beth moved into a sitting position. The chains were as loose as they could go so she was able to move her arms a lot more freely. Each movement of her arms hurt. They'd been suspended in the same position for so long that the slightest twitch felt like she had just been lifting weights. The only reason she pushed through it was because she didn't want Martinez to get too close.

"I'm sorry I didn't help before," he told her, looking at the ground. "I didn't want to leave you there, but I couldn't help you."

"You're helping me now," she pointed out, picking at the sandwich.

"You have to eat, no point in him keeping you alive if there's nothing left of you."

"It hasn't been that long," she mumbled.

"You've barely got any meat on ya as it is."

Despite the situation she smiled. He wasn't wrong really. She had always been quite petite, smaller and skinnier than most of her friends. She was convinced that her size was the main reason why most people assumed she was weak. Really they weren't wrong about it but it slowly became a thing, no one second guessed it or gave her chance. Now she was here.

Half-way through her sandwich she paused. She reached over to get the bottle. The cap was sealed which she was thankful for. She broke the seal off then wrapped her hand around the cap. She tried to turn it. It moved but hardly any. She twisted it as hard as she could but it wouldn't budge. Her hands were growing red from the pressure. She was close to tears when the bottle was taken from her.

Beth raised her eyes to see Martinez opening up the bottle. He kept a hold of the cap but handed the bottle back to her. Not taking her eyes off of him, she reached out and took it. As she brought the bottle to her lips and drank, he looked away. Martinez had been right. The cold of the apple juice soothed her throat and made her feel a lot better. It made such a difference that Beth fought with herself to drink it slowly.

"Thank you for this," she muttered softly.

"Are you finished?" he asked nervously looking at the floor.

She ate the last bit of sandwich and drank her apple juice. Settling the two of them down on the floor, she pushed them away. "Yes..."

He stood up from the ground. Beth's heart rated picked up and she began to panic as he moved back over to the control area. The whole time he refused to look at her as he turned the handle. She was barely able to scramble to her feet in time as her arms were raised. If she had some give then it would be fine, she could live with that but he seemed to be putting her back in the exact same way he found her.

As her arms were stretched as high as possible, she struggled. "Please, stop turning it!"

"I have to put you back the way he left you," Martinez said reluctantly. "He'll notice."

"He'll notice that you let me down to eat, please!"

"I'll say I fed it to you."

"I'll tell him you didn't."

"He's not going to believe you," he murmured, turning the crank and yanking Beth onto the tips of her toes.

"I can't stay like this," she moaned. "Please, just let me stand flat."

Martinez moved over and picked the plate and bottle up. "He'll be back here soon. No doubt he'll taunt you but he'll let you down, give you a chance to get a bit of your strength back, it makes it fun for him."

"Please," she begged. "Just for a little while longer."

"I wish I could," he said, heading to the door. "If I were you, I would pray that this whole thing ends quickly... And I wouldn't be too picky on how it ends."

Before Beth could respond he was out and shutting the door behind him. Although she felt more alert thanks to eating and drinking, it wasn't enough to help her stand this. This was her down time really, before the Governor came in but she couldn't relax. If this is what the good people in this group did then she could only imagine what the Governor's next visit was going to be like.

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><p><strong>AN: **_I always say that violent stories need to have their breaks or flashes of soft spots. These will be rare for a while but I wanted to give you guys a taste of it. :)_

_R&R_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When Beth woke up the next morning, she was lying in a heap on the floor. Her body felt battered and bruised as she rolled onto her back. She wasn't sure how long she would last this. She had been locked up one night but she was captured the day before yesterday. Already it felt to Beth like she had been there for weeks. Maybe the Governor was all talk. Maybe nothing would happen to her and she would be fine. At least that's what Beth was hoping. He hadn't really laid a hand on her, yet he had already caused her so much pain.

"Wakey, wakey!" Beth groaned as the loud voice boomed and echoed around the room.

"Come on, Sunshine, up ya get," said the same voice.

She looked up to see that it was the man who had dragged her in here. He seemed a lot more cheerful. Beth didn't like that. In fact it made her angry.

"I don't see what the difference is with me lying here like this or sitting up pretending to be more awake than I actually am."

"I think it'll make a difference to my lunch time entertainment."

_So it's lunch time_, Beth thought, staring up at the ceiling in wonder before another thought struck her. _Entertainment?_

As quick as lightning she was up into a sitting position. She ignored the pain in her body as he stepped closer. Beth backed herself up as much as possible, hugging the wall as he crouched down in front of her.

"What do you want?" she asked, stuttering her words slightly.

"What do you think?" he questioned, stroking his thumb across her cheek and kissing the same spot after straight after.

Beth shuddered. Deciding at the last minute that it might be best to play dumb. "I don't know what you mean."

"Sure ya do," he muttered, kissing her cheek again.

His body was much closer now. He was situated between her legs, leaning in despite her hands pushing against his chest. Beth was frantically thinking of ways out of it as he trailed kisses along her cheek, heading for her lips.

"Jackson!"

Beth sighed. She never thought she would be happy to hear the Governor's voice, but in that moment it was her life line. At least for now.

"Later," the Governor said as Jackson looked Up. "Now leave." Jackson ran his hand down Beth's arm as he kissed her lightly, before getting up and leaving her alone with the Governor.

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><p>An hour or so passed without incident. The Governor had just pulled up a chair and sat down. He stared in Beth's direction but didn't move or say anything. At first Beth would just sit there, staring right back, waiting for him to strike but slowly she relaxed. She took the time she had to give her body a proper rest. She didn't move a muscle as she slumped back against the wall. His constant staring kept her nerves high but she was able to push it far enough away.<p>

"Feeling more relaxed?"

Beth's attention snapped to the Governor. Was it a trick question? How should she answer? She hadn't quite figured out how to get around the Governor, how to find the appropriate response that would result in minimum consequences. If she was going to survive she needed to work these things out or learn how to completely switch herself off.

"I feel a bit better," she admitted.

He nodded his head, still watching her. "That's good."

"Yeah," she agreed before adding as an after-thought, "thank you."

He shrugged, getting up off of the chair. He paced, no longer looking straight at her. "You know I'm not going to be able to stop that all the time."

"Stop what?"

"Jackson, the others, from making advances," he explained. "I'm not one to stand in the way of my men and their fun, just so long as they don't screw up my plans."

"And what is your plan exactly?" Beth questioned, hoping to keep her mind focused.

"I want that prison of yours," he said as if it were obvious. "I figure I can use you as a bargaining chip or I could use you as bait to bring your friends here. Failing that I'm sure I could find plenty of other ways to use you for my purpose." They shared a look before he spoke again, both sensing what she was thinking. "I leave that kind of work to my men. I'm all business."

Beth snorted at that. It seemed like there was a very blurred line between what was business-like and what wasn't around here. Beth was pretty sure that half the time things were made up as they went along.

"Sitting in that chair staring at me is all business?"

"Believe it or not."

"And now?"

"I'm going to leave."

Beth stared at him in disbelief. "That's it? You come in here and stare at me for God knows how long and then you just leave?"

"It was nice talking to you," he said, ignoring her comment as he made his way over to the door. "I do hope you made the most of that rest. It's too late now if you didn't."

Beth stared after him as he walked out of the room, leaving the door open. Too late if she didn't? Was he letting her go, giving her a chance to escape? Was that why the door was still open? It couldn't be, she was still chained. Beth tugged on them to check but they still held strong. As she tugged on them again she heard footsteps.

Her eyes shot up to see Jackson. She shrunk back against the wall as he locked eyes with her. Slowly he stepped forward, each one deliberate. Beth couldn't help but notice the hungry look in his eyes. It made her cringe, she didn't want to think about what was going on inside of his head, she just knew she didn't want to be a part of it.

Before he got too close he moved to the crank. He turned the handle, tightening her chains. Despite her fear Beth knelt as her arms lifted. She prepared herself to stand but just before it got to that point, he stopped turning the handle. Beth went to move anyway but movements from Jackson cut her off. She stayed on her knees, but tried her hardest to back away. She wanted to make herself as small as possible, to try and hide away from that evil glint in his eyes.

This time as he advanced, his walk was a lot more determined. That look in his eyes was a lot more defined and he was practically drooling. It was the blade in his hand that made Beth's heart race. He was swinging it around like it was nothing, but Beth knew it had purpose. Her hands were tied so she knew it wasn't a precaution to make sure she didn't try anything. Beth's eyes moved from the blade to Jackson's face.

He licked his lips slowly, deliberately. With his free hands he adjusted himself, letting out a cross between a sigh and a groan as he did. They locked eyes and it all happened within seconds. Beth screamed, yanking at her chains as she tried to back away, while Jackson grinned from ear to ear and closed the space between them.

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><p><strong>AN: **_I'm making up the Governor's men for the purpose of this story apart from Merle and Martinez. And yes, a bit of a cliff-hanger I guess? I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon but it depends on what I decide in terms of how to start the next chapter after the end of this one or the style that I want. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! :)_

_R&R_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _Making my mind up for this did take a while. Luckily __**sweetkiwi604 **__was as lovely as ever and was willing to help me out a little! Also, a friendly reminder, I'm English so some things may be (actually they probably will be) different in terms of terminology. Either way, I hope you enjoy!  
><em>  
><strong>WARNING: <strong>_Mentions of _**rape**/**violence****_  
><span>_**_This is mild I guess compared to how it can get in chapters to come. It also won't be laid out like this all the time._

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Beth laid motionless on the floor, scraps of clothing covering her body. She had curled up into a ball, trying to block the world out. Doing nothing had her mind plagued with memories of what had happened, but when she moved she felt nothing but pain. It was emotional or physical, she chose the former.

At the time it seemed the lesser of two evils but now she was frozen. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't do a thing. It was like nothing else existed and she was living her own personal hell. She thought she had been a good Christian. Sure she had killed people, stolen things and she had been completely envious of her past life, but could God really blame her? Would he really punish her in such a way with the world being the way it was?

The air was cold and the temperature in the room was dropping drastically. Making the first move in hours, Beth repositioned the rags around her. Her clothes had been ripped or thrown away from her. When she had curled up she had hugged a strip from her t-shirt to her chest. She had pulled her legs up against her body, holding her knickers in place. But they were ruined and wouldn't stay up on their own. Using what strength she had she reached down and tied a knot in the torn side. She then wrapped the rag better around her chest and hugged herself, to keep it in place. Any reasonable size rag was too far away so she curled further up and tried to hide as much of her body as possible.

_"Come on now, there's no need to scream."_

_But Beth continued. She screamed as loud as she could, she was good at that. Only this time no one was going to come running, but she screamed anyway. Her throat began to hurt and it irritated even her own ears, but she screamed._

_At least until she was back-handed hard across the side of her face. Her head whipped harshly to the side, putting immense strain on her neck. The only thing stopping her from falling to the floor from the force was the chains._

_Jackson leered at her as he twirled the knife. As the sting on Beth's face intensified, she began to whimper, causing Jackson's leer to turn into more of an amused chuckle. He turned back to face her. The hand holding her knife stilled, holding the handle firmly and pointing it towards her._

_Beth snapped her eyes shut, gritting her teeth as tears spilled over. He brought his hand up, cupping her chin and running his thumb over her bottom lip. She instinctively pulled away. Her head turned to the side, her eyes snapping shut but her body could barely move due to her restraints. She listened to everything around her but refused to open her eyes. Something sharp poked her cheek, the knife. It was dragged down to her chin, lightly grazing her skin. As it reached her chin it was brought back slightly until it was trailed down her neck._

_"I never thought you'd be the quiet one."_

_Her eyes opened a crack. "You've been watching us?"_

_"Naturally."_

_"How long?"_

_"Long enough to know which of the women I'm going to be picking out for myself when we take over your prison."_

_Beth bit back her remark as the knife tore into her t-shirt. She felt Jackson's hand twist in the fabric as the blade sliced all the way down, tearing the t-shirt in two. The blade disappeared and Jackson's other hand wrapped itself in the fabric. Without any hesitation he gripped hard and pulled, ripping the shirt even further until it fell in rags from her body._

_Before she had time to react the knife was back. It circled her belly button, sending shivers all through her. It then trailed up her body. As it reached her breasts, it disappeared again, Jackson leaned forward, his breath against her cheek as he unhooked her bra. His speed multiplied then, cutting the straps and the rest of her clothes soon followed._

"I thought you were keeping her under lock and key."

"I was, but the boys were getting restless, especially Jackson… Are _you_ going to stop them?"

"No."

"Then spit out whatever is bothering you about it."

"I was hoping I could have her. Just for me, no one else."

Beth's ears pricked up at the voices. The Governor and Martinez. She had been wrong about the latter. He had been nice to her to get close, to take her for himself. If it hadn't of been Jackson then it would have been him. He would have done this to her and maybe it would have been less torturous but maybe it would have been worse.

Her possible ticket out of here and turned into another threat. She really was alone in this. They could do anything to her and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. She was going to die here, she could feel it, she wouldn't fight it, she would welcome it with ease.

The door opened, letting light into the room. Beth scrunched her eyes up, curling up further. Two people entered before the door swung shut again. One of them moved to the side of the room while one came closer to where she lay. She kept her eyes closed, refusing to see which one of them had come to her.

"What did he do to her?"

"You sound like you care."

She opened her eyes a crack to see Martinez's reaction. He was crouched down beside her, his expression hard to read but he didn't look thrilled.

"I want to know how strongly I need to send this message to Jackson."

"What message would that be?" The Governor chuckled.

"That she's mine." He looked over his shoulder. "I'm the one who realised she was planning to split from the group. I'm the one who saw her first. I don't care what his involvement was, she's mine."

"I haven't seen you this determined for a while. Am I getting one of my best men back?"

Beth's eyes finally shifted to the Governor. She could only just see him. He was standing there, arms crossed. He wore an amused grin on his face. He seemed a bit too calm for the situation, especially with Martinez being so determined about something that had already been discussed.

"I never ask you for anything," Martinez practically growled. "I ask you for her. It's been a while since I had some fun myself. I want her to be my entertainment."

"I'll tell you what… I'll give you a similar deal to the others."

"And what's that?" he asked, looking back at Beth.

"Make sure she's still alive and you don't get in my way and you can have as much fun with her as you like," the Governor explained. "However I'll tell the others that they need your permission before they can go anywhere near her. Besides me, you own her now."

Beth gulped, trying to curl up further. Not only was her life in the Governor's hands but it was now also in Martinez's hands. Both had the right to pass her onto someone else for a few hours. She couldn't do that, not again. She started to cry, the sounds intensifying as Martinez laid his hand on her hip.

"If we're going to keep her alive, we need to get her cleaned up and give her some food."

"I'm starting to think you really care," he mumbled. "Are there any empty living quarters nearby that will ensure she won't be seen?"

"Yes."

"Take her there, get her cleaned up and more presentable. I'll decide when she can go again. I'd have your fun while you're there."

Beth would have celebrated when she felt and heard the handcuffs click open. The relief was immense. Her wrists tingled with pain but it was welcomed. She only wished she had the strength to fight now that she wasn't bound, but all she could do was allow Martinez to yank her up.

He gripped her arm tightly, pushing her towards the door. She could barely keep the rag up around her chest. She could hear the Governor laugh and clap at how harsh Martinez was being. She was practically falling forward with every step that she took. She could feel his nails dig into her arm as he forced her forward, never letting her stop.

But the second they were outside the room and alone, Martinez scooped her up into his arms and carried her.

_Not a scrap of clothing on her except for her knickers. Not the best ones she had owned. They were worn from constant washing and wear. Runs had been all about important supplies that they hadn't really thought to get new clothes, not even underwear. It didn't give her much reassurance to have even that slither of clothing still on her._

_It didn't help that Jackson circled her like she was some kind of prey. Every time he would duck under a chain he would pause a moment to gaze at her. It scared her how his movements could go from slow and deliberate to quick and forceful. She knew he was trying to catch her off guard, and no matter how tense she already was, he seemed to be successful._

_That's why it shocked her when he stopped behind her. His body pressed against hers. She tried to pull herself away from him but she couldn't. His arm wrapped around her body pulling her back. The blade came up to her throat, making her stop any movement. Her body froze and as much as she wanted to pull away again, she couldn't._

_The sound of a zipper created an ache in her chest. As the sound of clothes hitting the floor followed she began to sob. It was strong and painful, making her chest ache even more. She tried to move but she couldn't. The chains wouldn't allow her and the blade only pressed further into her throat. She hoped he would have dropped it but he hadn't, he still held it firm._

_He kissed her neck, nipping the flesh as he kicked her legs apart. Th blade came to her hip, and in a flash it sliced her knickers before going quickly back to her throat. With his other hand, he pulled the ruined material aside. Beth tried to distract herself, protect her mind from it all but a sharp pain later and her whole world shattered._

"Beth?"

She opened her eyes. There was light, decent light. Her head rolled to the side and she looked around. She was in a living room. It looked like a small apartment from the tiny kitchen at the back of the room. She could tell she was still in Martinez's arms so she wasn't sure just yet whether or not this was a good thing.

"I'm going to run you a bath."

"Why would you do that?" she asked, speaking for the first time. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to let you bathe and them I'm going to give you something to eat."

"Then?"

"I might let you sleep for a little while."

She was set down onto an arm chair. Her eyes stayed on him, trying to work out whether or not he was serious. He was actually helping her? He was doing something good for her? It seemed so because the next second he was taking his shirt off and handing it to her.

"Put it on till you go for your bath, I'll make sure you have something proper when you get out."

She pulled it on and sat back in the arm chair. She drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. The sound of the water running did help to ease her slightly, but not enough. She was ready to fall asleep but the second her eyes did she remembered what happened.

To stop herself from falling asleep she stood up. Slowly she paced the room. Taking each step deliberately. She concentrated on breathing deeply and pushing down any thought of throwing up. It took everything in her to stay focused. It was a God send when Martinez finally emerged from the bathroom.

"You can go in," he told her. "Towels are in there. Just turn off the water when it's right."

"Why are you doing this?"

"It's filling up fast, you better go."

Beth didn't argue. She slipped passed and into the bathroom. She shut the door behind her. Of course there was no lock but she tried to not let that bother her. She studied the water, testing the temperature now and again. It was a little over half-way so she decided to strip. She grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around her.

Sitting on the edge of the bath, she dipped her fingers in, swirling the water around. The warmth already shot through her, calming her. She only allowed for a small amount of water to go in before she was dipping her feet in, then sinking down until she was lying in the bath.

She muttered to herself in an attempt to reassure herself but also to stay conscious enough to turn the water off. It was when the water had her submerged that she turned the taps off. Once they were shut off completely, she laid back again. She sunk down further, bringing her head under the water. She held it there for a few moments before she resurfaced and just laid there, eyes closed and no longer trying to stay awake.

* * *

><p>"Beth!"<p>

She screamed, eyes flying opened and she lashed out. She clawed and kicked, trying to get away. It was too soon, she wouldn't survive if it happened again, it couldn't happen again.

"Beth, stop, it's me."

She continued to lash out but her eyes found Martinez. Soon her body relaxed, falling back into the bath. She looked around. The floor was soaked and so was he. Something had happened but she couldn't remember what.

"What happened?"

"You had a nightmare," he explained. "You must have fallen asleep. You were in here so long and wouldn't answer me so I came into check. You were struggling, sinking further down."

"You should have let me," she mumbled, pulling herself out of the bath.

"You could have drowned."

"Good," she muttered, wrapping the towel around her waist.

"That's not good!"

"Put yourself in my situation and tell me if you feel the same."

Without another word Beth left the room. She went out to the armchair she had been on earlier. Sitting down she went back to hugging her legs to her chest. Martinez came out of the bathroom and sat down on the coffee table in front of her.

"I'm sorry that Jackson did that to you."

"You don't know what he did to me."

"Then tell me."

She lifted her eyes to him. "What?"

"The way you were screaming in there, I can guess what your nightmare was about. I'm not the nicest guy on the planet, I've done some horrible things in my time, some even before the world went to shit, but I'm not a rapist. That's one side of the fun I liked to stay out of. It rarely happens, the Governor hardly allows it but sometimes he lets them loose to keep them in check. You're just the unfortunate candidate this time around. Doesn't help that you're young and pretty."

"What good does hearing about it do then?"

He ran a hand over his face. "I need to know I'm risking my life for the right thing."

"He raped me, what more do you want me to say?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

She stopped hugging her legs and sat back, looking down at her lap. "You want to hear about how me crying seemed to turn him on even more? Or about how he kept that blade pressed against my throat so that each time he forced himself into me I scraped against my skin?" She rubbed at the cut marks it left. "Maybe you want to hear about how forceful he was? About how he grabbed me till I bruised? How about how me begging him to stop only drove him on? Or maybe you want to hear about how he taunted me and kissed me once it was over, leaving me to just lie there in the state you found me. Maybe that's what you want to hear."

"Beth, I'm so sorry..."

As he reached out to cup her cheek, she slapped his hand away. She pushed him away and backed further into the seat. "Don't, I don't trust you. I don't trust any of you."

"If I'd of known," he told her. "If I knew the Governor had let Jackson loose on you I would have done something."

"You could have done something before, you could have let me go when you brought me something to eat. You could have untied the chains and left the door opened. You could have blamed it on someone else, hell you could have blamed Jackson, kill two birds with one stone so to speak."

"I can't let you go," he said sadly. "The Governor would know it was me and he's too smart, you'd never get away, I wouldn't be able to get you out. It's too risky, but please, let me help you how I can. Let's get you something to eat and take it from there."

"I'm not hungry," she mumbled, staring off into space now.

"Then why don't you get some sleep?" This time she didn't respond so he continued. "I'm going to eat. I'll save you some but there's some clothes in the bedroom. Sleep in there. I won't come in, I'll stay out here until you wake up."

She didn't believe him but she stood anyway. Sleeping meant nightmares but if she was going to surfer she would rather it be somewhere comfortable. Dragging herself to the room, she tried to hold onto any ounce of energy she still had but it was slipping away from her. She didn't feel just physically drained, but mentally and emotionally. It was like she had stepped back to square one and she didn't have the will power to fight it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_Before anyone gets angry, I PROMISE that Merle is in the next chapter. I don't know how much but it's the start of more appearances for sure! I know some people wanted her to be saved, particularly by Merle but he'll do a bit of that later on in the story for sure and Beth will get pretty good at saving herself too! _

_I hope you enjoyed._

_R&R_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **_Firstly **thank you** to all of those who have shown interest and especially those who have taken the time to review. It means a lot to me. I want to thank those who are giving this story a shot despite the content. Mainly a thank you to **Shealyn02**, I know this content isn't something everyone can read so I appreciate it if any of you feel that way and are still giving this story a chance. So thank you._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5.<strong>

Beth woke suddenly, feeling the bed dip. Every bad thought possible ran through her head. She pulled the covers tighter around herself and squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep then maybe she would be left alone. She was happy, shutting the world out and sleeping in a bed again, she wasn't ready to have that shattered yet.

The covers on the other side of the bed were lifted, letting in a draft. Beth curled her legs up, trying to curve away from the cold. It would be all too clear that she was awake now. Although Beth was sure her being a sleep would make no difference in stopping these people from getting what they wanted.

In her own eyes she had been weak before and if she had a choice, she wasn't going to be again. So Beth rolled onto her other side, facing whoever had come to the bed. She was faced with Martinez. He was slowly stripping until he was down to his boxers. Every move was deliberate and Beth came to realise that he was trying to be quiet. The clothes he left on the floor as he turned to face her.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly as their eyes locked.

"The Governor," he explained. "He thinks I want you and he's expecting me to have my way with you while you're in here. I'm going to make him think I have."

"But you're not actually going to?" As he nodded his head in confirmation, Beth let out a shaky breath. "You're really not going to hurt me?"

"As long as I have a choice, I won't lay a finger on you."

Beth moved into a sitting position, keeping the covers wrapped around her. "So what do we need to do?"

First he grabbed the pillows. He pressed on them, flattening them down before he knocked one off the bed and put the other at an odd angle. He then grabbed at the sheets and covers (which Beth let go of) and ruffled them. He pulled at them, making them look used. After that he grabbed his clothes and littered them across the floor.

"I hate to ask," he said quietly. "But I really need to."

"What is it?"

"I need you to strip."

Beth's face dropped, all the colour draining. She figured this would be the easier option but it wasn't. Couldn't she just stay dressed? Wasn't it logical that she would put her clothes back on again?

"I won't look, and you can get back under the covers straight away," he promised her. "Leave your underwear on if you like but it might be more believable if at least your bra wasn't on."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Turn around."

He did and once she was sure he wasn't going to look, she stood up. She stripped down to her underwear. For a moment or two she stood there contemplating. Despite the dangers Martinez was helping her. It was risky, she knew that so she wanted to help, she wanted to do this right.

Deciding quickly she unclasped her bra, threw it down with the other clothes and dove under the covers. She sat up but made sure the covers were pulled up high and wrapped around her.

"Okay."

Martinez turned back around. He moved to the pile of clothes she had left. He picked them up and knelt on the end of the bed. Once he was steady he started to fling her clothes around the room, quite like he would in the heat of the moment. Once they were around the room he moved to the chest of drawers. He opened up the top draw and Beth heard the clink of metal.

"One final thing," he promised.

When he turned around Beth noticed the handcuffs he was holding. If she was restrained it wouldn't be logical for her to have gotten completely dressed again. So not wanting to back out now she nodded her head. He moved round to the head of the bed.

"I need you to lie down and put the hand closet to me against the head of the bed."

Carefully she slid down the bed, being absolutely sure to stay covered. Once she was down far enough she raised her arm above her head, making sure to place her wrist near the rails of the headboard. Reaching over, Martinez first attached the handcuff to her wrist and then to one of the bars.

He stepped back. "Sorry if they get too tight, I'll leave you."

"He's going to make me go back down there, isn't he?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I wish I could keep you up here but he won't risk it. If you don't go back tonight it'll be tomorrow before the rest of Woodbury wakes up."

"Well, thank you for trying," she said sincerely.

Without another word he left the room. Beth sunk down as far as she could, trying to find an angle that would allow her to gain as much comfort as possible. With her arm above her head at such an odd angle she was sure it would start to get tingly but she made the best of it.

* * *

><p>The next time Beth opened her eyes, it was morning time. The sky was still almost completely black outside but Beth was sure it was morning. Besides being handcuffed to the bed she felt relaxed, telling her that she had gotten a few hours sleep at least.<p>

It felt good to have woken up of her own accord, rather than because of another person. She rolled over as best as she could, fixing the covers around her. Trying the best she could, Beth stretched her body out. She felt it pop and crack in various places. It sent some relief through her aching body.

She didn't have long to think about her pains or how they were caused before she heard some noise from the main room. As quickly as she could, Beth sat up. With her wrist being handcuffed to the bed she couldn't get the best angle. She tried her best to keep her eyes on the door so that no one could sneak up on her.

Now she could hear voices and various bangs. Somebody else besides Martinez was out there. Beth held her breath as she listened. The noises were getting closer to the door. Either way she was going to be taken back, chained up and God knows what else would happen to her. A million things were racing through her mind. Did she want it to be the Governor? He was cruel but it was strategic, so maybe it wouldn't be as bad. With Jackson it would be brutal, she had first-hand experience of how he liked to handle situations. If she was lucky maybe it would be Martinez but it could be anyone, somebody she's never met.

Suddenly the door opened and her answer was met. Jackson. He grinned at the sight of her, curled up, free arm gripping the covers tightly. With hardly a break in his stride he was over by her. He leaned down, deliberately getting as close as possible as he unlocked the side of the handcuff around her wrist. Beth yanked it away and rubbed at it. Debating her options.

Before she could react Jackson grabbed her and yanked her out of the bed. In order to stop herself from completely falling her hand loosened on the covers. She still gripped it as he pulled her to her feet but when he yanked her away from the bed it pulled away from her. Beth's arms flew up to cover her chest. She tried to twist away as Jackson tangled his hand in her hair but she could barely move.

"Pretty ain't she?"

Martinez leaned in the doorway, arms folded over his chest. He was looking in their direction but he merely grunted in response. He didn't move from his spot until Jackson leaned in and kissed just behind her ear.

"Hey, you had your fun," Martinez warned as he pushed away from the door. "It's my ass on the line if I don't get her back."

"I'll be quick."

"And I'm not risking it, wait till she's in your care."

"Look, he wants rid of you already," Jackson laughed in Beth's ear.

"I'm not done with her," Martinez assured. "I just don't think she's worth his wrath, now let her go so she can dress."

"I like her this way."

"And if she's seen? What will be easier to cover up?"

Jackson seemed to think about it for a moment. His hand tightened in Beth's hair, pulling it so tightly that it brought tears to her eyes. Once his mind was made up he shoved her in the general direction of the bed. She hit it and fell onto it. She didn't bother to break her fall, in fact she felt more covered lying face down across it.

The two men told her to hurry up as they left the room. Beth laid there for several moments, listening for any sign they were going to burst back in. When they didn't she got up off of the bed. With shaking hands she grabbed her clothing and pulled it all on. It took her several attempts to get various items on. The more times she put them on wrong, the angrier she got with herself. Her hands were shaking so much and her heart was beating so fast that she could barely concentrate.

It was a miracle that she even managed to leave the bedroom before they came back in to get her.

* * *

><p>Having had more than a few hours away from being chained up, it felt even worse when she was back there. She wasn't chained up as harshly but she still had no choice but to stand. She could feel every bruise, cut and bite that Jackson had left on her body but her much earlier pains were gone. She had a lot more energy than she expected and it helped her to stay on her feet.<p>

It was her mind that was at war. Every time Jackson did so much as look at her she would start to freak out. Her heart would race and her body would begin to tremble. It didn't help that he tried to get to her on the way back. He talked about how the Governor was breaking her in for something big, for a plan that would inevitably go his way no matter what she did. In the end he would win everything he ever wanted and she would be to blame.

Beth knew that what the Governor wanted was the prison and for various members of the group (if not all of them) to come to serious harm at his hands. He wouldn't allow them to simply die, no, he would make it more painful. Beth didn't want to give him any of those things. She didn't want to be the reason any way, shape or form. It hadn't even really started yet and she was already worrying sick about causing the group harm.

Between that and her Jackson worried self, Beth was a bit of a mess. Jackson and Martinez were watching her until the Governor came down. There wasn't too much that Martinez could do without looking suspicious so it was natural that Jackson slipped through the net a few times. He would continue to taunt her with his words and on occasion he would get closer enough to run his blade along her skin or kiss a certain spot. Each time it jolted Beth back long enough to freak out even more.

By time the Governor arrived she was exhausted. Those hours that Martinez managed to buy her in a decent bed was for nothing. She was using up all of her energy and fast. At this rate she wouldn't survive, not if she kept thinking like that. She had never been the strongest in the group but the safety of the prison had made her lazy, even with their close calls.

"How much fun did you boys have?" the Governor asked in an amused tone.

"Jackson here has been taunting her," Martinez informed.

"Well, it looks like you did a good job, but it's not enough."

"Hey, he said I wouldn't have time this morning if we wanted her back here in time for you," Jackson said, motioning to Martinez.

"Not enough to what?"

"To break her," the Governor explained. "I know you have the basic idea of my overall plan. She hasn't been here that long, but I want to move my plan along. She says her group aren't stupid enough to come looking but they might just be."

"What are you saying?" Martinez asked.

"I want to break her, I want to get what I need for my plan as soon as possible. I don't care who does it so long as I get what I need."

"I could do it," Jackson spoke up. "I just need some time alone with her."

"I don't think you're going to shake the poor girl up any more than you already have. I want someone who hasn't been properly involved in this situation yet, someone who can work out a better way of how little Beth here ticks."

For the first time Beth's ears pricked up. She was used to them talking about her but he seemed deadly serious on this. She was confident things could get worse, but was she prepared for that?

"Who are you thinking of?"

"Jackson, go and get Dixon in here."

Both Beth and Martinez snapped their heads towards the Governor. Martinez knew that that could lead to beatings and various forms of torture. Sure they might be minute for now but they could easily get out of hand but for Beth it was different. For her it was the name. _Dixon_. Could it be?

She had mixed emotions. Was he doing this to torture her? Could this really be who she thought it was. Her eyes stayed on the door, waiting. First Jackson stepped back into the room. He didn't look happy about not being involved, but Beth had no time to be happy about his upset, her eyes were focused strongly on the door.

But it wasn't who she expected. On one side she was relieved that Daryl hadn't come into the room because that would mean her group were in trouble but on the other side the pain in her accelerated again. She studied the man before her. He was a little taller and a lot broader than Daryl. He was gruff looking, a bit of stumble going on and short hair. He looked oddly familiar. Between the name and the familiarity something came to her. Daryl had talked about having a brother. How he had been in the original group before the farm but he was left in Atlanta, something about Rick and a rooftop, his brother had lost his hand.

Beth's eyes zoned in on where his right hand should be. Some kind of apparatus was there instead. Could it be a coincidence? This could be another step to getting out. Surely the older Dixon would want to see his brother, right? Beth's eyes panned up his body till she reached his face. She gulped. The grin on his face had her taking a step back, maybe this wasn't the kind of Dixon she was used to.

* * *

><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **_Sorry this wasn't updated sooner. I went away recently and when I got back I got a little bit behind on updating. Hopefully I'll be getting back into updating more. Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites. They all mean a lot to me. I know a lot of you were waiting for Merle to show up but friendly reminder that he might not be the nicest person in the world to start off with. Enjoy!  
><em>  
><strong>WARNING:<strong> there's a little bit of violence at the end of this chapter._  
><em>

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Beth retreated, trying to get away from all of them again. It wasn't completely absurd to assume that this Dixon could possibly prove a threat. Daryl hadn't exactly been the nicest person in the world when he came to the farm. Beth had heard some pretty snarky comments come from him, and she had even seen or heard about some of the things he had done. Daryl had changed. He started to do more good for the group and became a bigger part of them, but it took time. Beth doubted she had enough time for this Dixon to change.

Merle chuckled at the sight of her. She had to be the youngest person he'd seen down here. He wasn't entirely sure why she was here but he did know that the Governor needed someone to break her so that he could bend her any which way he wanted. The Governor was a man who eventually got what he wanted, sometimes he just needed a little bit of help to get it.

"You got this under control?"

Merle looked over his shoulder at the Governor. "Yup, I ain't sayin' you'll get results today though."

The Governor nodded in understanding. "Sooner the better though."

Looking back at Beth, Merle nodded. She watched as the others left the room, leaving the two of them alone. She had to think fast here, she needed to play this right. The more people she had on her side, the less messy her escape would be. She had to have faith that she would escape, it was just how much of herself that would actually get out which worried her.

"What's ya name?"

She frowned. "Beth..."

"Well Beth, I'm Merle."

"What are _you_ going to do to me?"

"Some of what's already been done to ya, some that ain't."

Beth gulped, retreating even further back. The handcuffs were cutting into her wrists but she didn't want to be anywhere near Merle. He had to be good at what he does for the Governor to call him in. Beth didn't want to go through any of the things she had already been through again and she couldn't begin to imagine what else their could be.

As he walked towards her, Merle rolled his head. Beth could feel his eyes on her as she tried to look away. In a naive way she hoped that if she didn't look then it wouldn't happen, he would just leave the room and everything would be fine, but he didn't. She saw his boots as he stopped not too far in front of her. There was still a lot of space between them which helped to keep Beth's heart beat at bay.

Suddenly without warning Merle gripped the chains, right near the handcuffs. He gripped them tight and yanked them, pulling Beth up and towards him. She came face to chest with him. She glanced up to see him looking down at her. He let go of one of the chains but wrapped the other around his hand to keep her in place. One side of her body relaxed but the other side was held up, keeping her as close to him as possible.

Beth's heart was erratic. She could barely hear his heart beat or even his breathing over the sound. She wouldn't be surprised if it popped right out of her chest, it was so loud. Whenever it got just a little bit louder Merle's smirk would grow even more. Her fear seemed to be entertaining for him and Beth could only imagine how entertaining he'd find her pain. He was a lot bigger than both Jackson and The Governor so he could probably hit and kick a lot harder and cause a lot more pain. If he was anything like his brother he would be precise too. She had to think fast, she had to play this right and it needed to be now or never.

As he drew his free hand back, closing it into a fist, Beth screamed. She did it loud and long until his other hand loosened its grip a little and he dropped his raised one. She looked at him as she continued to scream. He was watching her intently but he didn't look like he was about to make any move to hurt her just yet. Beth stopped screaming but kept looking at her. After a moment of unsurety he raised his arm again.

"I know your brother," Beth blurted out.

"What?" Merle questioned, his arm still raised, frozen in place.

"I know your brother," she repeated. "Daryl, I know Daryl."

"Maybe you _knew _him, but how can I be sure you still know him?"

"He's with my people, we're a reasonable size group, he hunts for us and goes on a whole bunch of supply runs when he can," Beth explained. "He has this bike he always uses and he's almost never without his crossbow."

Merle's arm dropped, he studied her intently. "How do you know all that?"

"Because I know your brother," she sighed. "Please. How would I know his name or what he uses otherwise?"

"So what do ya expect me to do?"

"Let me go, help me escape and I'll take you to your brother."

Beth and Merle's eyes made contact. They stared at each other for the longest time. Beth's heart calmed as she thought about the prospect of this working, of him letting her her go. There was a reason for him to come with her, she would be fine, she just had to play it cool till she reached the others and then she really would be safe.

"Why didn't my brother stop you from being taken?"

"He wasn't with me," Beth explained. "We went to gather supplies and I was grabbed from behind. I tried to fight but they knocked me out. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt."

"Didn't anyone teach ya to be more careful when in the open?"

"We were in the woods, we were moving on foot to see if we could find anything decent in there... Fruit, a lake for fishing, anything. Daryl was back with everyone else. He was on standby with a couple of people and a car so they could go for a real run when we got back."

"The woods?"

"Yeah, they surround a lot of our place, you can see a lot of it from our towers and it would be hard to get too lost among those trees" she told him. "Will you let me go?"

Beth held her breath as he seemed to mull it over. He seemed to believe that she knew Daryl and he seemed interested in his brother. Even if they hated each other, it seemed like Merle still wanted to see Daryl. As her hopes were getting unbelievably high, Merle raised his arm so fast that Beth would have missed it if he hadn't of aimed his fist right at her, striking her chin and throwing her head harshly to the side, creating an effective and loud crack.

"Once I get you just the way The Gov wants, he'll be more than willing to tell me where the others picked you up," he hissed in her ear. "Thanks for letting me know my brother's still alive."

Beth cried out as he struck her again and again.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Beth's ears began to ring. With her head bowed she watched as drops of blood hit the concrete floor below her. In reality he hadn't really struck her that many times but he had been brutal. She had a cut on her lip, her cheek was puffy, her face would no doubt have some bruises and her skin had been cut in various places. At the very least Merle hadn't seemed happy while throwing punch after punch, she tried to make that her silver lining of the situation.

"How long has she been staring at the floor?"

"Last hour or so."

The Governor laughed at the response. Beth could hear him walking around, no doubt surveying her. He seemed to be happy so no doubt Merle had done a good job. She felt weak and miserable and like she wanted to give up. As much as she tried to cling to any hope she had left, it was hard. With every drop of blood that splattered the floor beneath her a bit of hope fell with it.

"That girl was petrified of me," Merle's voice came, sounding unsure. "But when all I did was hit her she seemed almost relieved. What the hell were ya doin' to her before I came along?"

"I don't think she and Jackson have the same definition of fun."

Merle grunted but made no other comments. Beth lifted her head enough to look at Merle. He was watching the Governor suspiciously. There was no doubt he knew exactly what was meant by 'fun'. A spark of hope relit in Beth as she spotted the look of disgust on Merle's face. If she had to guess Merle had shown no emotion while hitting her because it had been his job. She prayed that that meant that he didn't do it as a form of entertainment. And the disgust on his face now made Beth hope that he still had some kind of morals.

"I need to go back up," the Governor explained. "The residents haven't seen me properly for a while. I'm going to go around and talk to some of them, reassure them that everything is still fine. It's getting late so I won't be back down here tonight."

"Want me to stay with her then?"

"I'd appreciate it... Keep an eye on her and see if she says anything."

Beth dropped her head again as the Governor moved to the door. After she heard it shut she heard Merle drag a chair and then sit down firmly on it. Her arms weren't stretched that far up so she was able to balance on her knees. They were going numb already but it was far better than the pain she normally felt in her arms and shoulders. Although her face stung, it was also no where near as bad.

She appreciated the silence that fell around the room. She was so used to being taunted in some way, shape or form but Merle sat quietly and did nothing but stretch out and stare up at the ceiling. It was clear that they would both rather be somewhere else but bringing up Daryl again might prove to be a fatal move. Maybe when Merle became more aware of the extents that the Governor would go to then maybe she could get him on side.

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><p>Beth blinked as she slowly opened her eyes. She could hear her name and she was being shook. It took a moment or two for her senses to come back to her. As her vision cleared she began to recognise the voice. Her world spun as she lifted her head to look at who was there. Her eyes focused on Martinez. He frowned as he watched her. He was no longer saying her name, just waiting.<p>

"What are you doing here?" she questioned. "Where's Merle?"

"He left a few hours ago, it's the middle of the night."

"What are you doing here?"

"I know Merle can be brutal when he needs to be. I wanted to check on you and I'm glad I did... I thought you were dead."

"Dead?" She frowned.

Martinez motioned to the floor. Beth's eyes dropped to see a pool of blood. It wasn't too large to cause too much worry but it was enough to arouse suspicion. As she stared at the pool she could feel the dried blood on her face start to crack. Slowly it started to feel like her face was caked in blood. She must have looked like something out of a horror movie, it would probably be the most suited she had ever been for the world she was in.

"How bad is it?"

"You look like you dove face first into a swimming pool filled with blood."

"I'm still cute though, right?" Beth tried to joke.

Cracking a smile, Martinez shook his head as he pulled a bag into view. He reached up and unlocked the handcuffs around Beth's wrists. Dropping down she rubbed at her wrists. She sat to the side and watched as Martinez rifled through the bag. Eventually a cloth, bottled water, forms of medicine and other medical supplies were produced.

"I'm sorry if this hurts," Martinez mumbled.

Beth didn't speak a word as he used the water to make the cloth damp. Carefully Martinez wiped away at her face. For the most part it was painless but every now and again as the blood was being tugged away it would pull on healing cuts. Each one would cause a hiss to escape Beth's lips and Martinez to stop his movements for a moment or two. Eventually all of the blood was wiped away. He then got a smaller cloth and poured some antiseptic spray onto it. Carefully he dabbed it against her face. It made her broken skin sting and itch but it barely lasted seconds before she felt much better. As that soaked in Martinez got some surgical tape and began cutting up some bandages.

"I'm going to cover the worst of your cuts until they heal a little better."

She titled her head back a little so that Martinez could get better access. Carefully he laid a small bit of bandage onto an open cut and taped it down. He continued to do this with all of the open cuts. Once all of them had been covered Martinez sat back. He packed up everything that was still good to use and bagged the dirty stuff. He then took the cloth he had wiped her face with and mopped up the blood on the floor.

"Won't you get into trouble for this?"

"No," Martinez shook his head. "The Governor wanted someone to come down around this time and clean up a bit."

"He's trying to confuse me, isn't he?" Beth mumbled.

"Yes. He's going to hurt you and help you so many times you won't be able to think straight, you'll have no idea what he's going to do next. He wants to drive you insane so you'll beg him, reason with him to give you at least one day without that kind of torture."

"When will he stop?"

"When he gets your prison."

"But he'll kill all of my people?"

Martinez gave a small, sad smile. "Probably."

"How much down time do I have?"

"A couple of hours to be safe, but I'll keep your chains slack so you can lay down for a bit."

"What a gentleman," Beth chuckled.

"I try."

"If I ever get out of here, I'll come back for you," she told him honestly. "I'll make sure my group know not to hurt you."

"I'll be just fine right here if I have to be," he told her softly, placing his hands on either side of her face. "When you get out... If it's messy, you never come back here. No matter what your people do, you must never come back."

"I won't let you stay here longer than you have to."

"And I won't let you come back to this."

"I think we just had our first real disagreement," she said, trying to make light of the whole conversation.

"And I'm not about to let you win, if you get out and come right back, then what's the point in all of this?"

"The point is I would have survived because of you," she whispered, moving to her knees to give her more leverage, to get closer to him. "I would be free because you risked your life to do things like this for me." She motioned to her face. "I would owe it to you."

"Then make it up to me by _living_ and not running back to the devil himself."

"This is all about if I get out of here," she sighed. "But if I do escape, why would I let the one person who refused to hurt me continue to lie down with a man like that?"

"Because I've survived this long, you're special Beth. Odds are you should be dead right now, you should be... A zombie. Sat here with no hope but instead you're talking about saving _me_. You're special, Beth and I need you to survive."

He kissed her forehead, lingering there for a moment. "Let's get these off and get you something to drink before I go."

She let him pull away and neither of them spoke another word. Carefully he pulled away the bits of bandages. He used the clean sides to wipe away stray bits of blood, being careful not to disrupt the healing parts of her skin. She could still feel a constant pain but it was nothing like before. Earlier she had found a spark of hope in Merle's reaction and now that spark had grown thanks to Martinez's stubbornness. She had always been the weak member of the team but she wasn't about to let someone go on suffering when she could maybe do something to stop it.

"Even if I don't come back," Beth said softly. "They will and I'll tell them about all the good you've done for me. A few have met you. They know what you look like. They'll find you and they'll help you."

"If they're smart, they'll run."

"No, if they're smart they'll drive a blade right through him and save us all."

Martinez sighed. First he handcuffed Beth back to the chains. He then bagged everything up. He pulled the bag over his shoulder and held the smaller bag in his hand. He kissed Beth's cheek gently before standing up. He made his way over to the door. Before leaving he looked back over his shoulder, "sleep now and use that hope you have of saving me to save yourself. You're gonna need it." With that he left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

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><p><strong>AN: **_forthose of you who are worried about Merle's behaviour in the last chapter... he has no emotional connection to Beth yet or any kind of connection for that matter but I promise that things won't get too violent between them and he will do a lot of making up in the future._

_R&R_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Drip, drop. Drip, drop._

Beth blinked. Her mind and body slowly woke up to the sound. It had been two days since Martinez had come to clean her up. No one had been in to see her for more than a few minutes. She had been taken to the bathroom twice. As well as that she had had two biscuits and a mouthful of water. Enough to keep her alive but not enough to stop the hunger. The sounds she was hearing now sparked an interest in her as she lifted her head to look in the direction of the sound. As her eyes adjusted to the light she rubbed the sleep out of it. Slowly her eyes focused and she realised that it wasn't something but some_one_.

Her eyes zoned in on someone sitting on a chair not too far away from her. They were leaning forward, arms on their knees as they rested on them. Bit by bit her eyes focused more and more, making bits of the person clearer. Slowly Beth was able to piece the picture together to reveal the Governor.

He was sat on a chair, leaning forward on his knees just starting at her. One hand dangled loosely off the edge of his knee while the other held a bottle of water. Its cap was missing and it was tilted down. The water was coming out of the bottle a drop at a time. It made a noise every time it hit the concrete below it. For every drop that was wasted, Beth wished she could have it.

As her eyes locked on the bottle and every drop that came out of it, the Governor smirked. Slowly he tilted the bottle up to the right position, making Beth look up at him. "Do you want some?" he asked her.

Not caring about the consequences that would undoubtedly come with it, Beth nodded eagerly. She was willing to do anything for a single drop. In retrospect she had had water not that long ago but with just a mouthful of water and the dusty, dark conditions of the room she was in, it wasn't enough. Her mouth was already dry.

"Come on then," he said, coaxing her over as he beckoned her forward by flicking the bottle from her to him.

Slowly Beth crawled closer. With the chains so slack she could move but she would be lucky if she could get close enough to him. Still she tried. She crawled closer and closer until she was almost right in front of the Governor. To her surprise he held the open bottle out to her. Beth snatched it from his hands, spilling some of it as she did. Instantly she brought the bottle to her lips and drank.

It was meant to be a sigh of relief as the liquid touched her lips but it was very different to that. The liquid inside the bottle was _not_ water. Beth wasn't sure what it was but it tasted foul and it made her lips burn from the touch. She tossed the bottle away from her and spat out any liquid that had seeped into her mouth.

He laughed manically as he leaned back in his chair, watching her. Beth rubbed at her lips with her fingers, trying to stop the burning as she moved away a little. As the two were sat in their very different positions and manners, the door opened. Martinez walked in followed by Jackson, Merle and a couple of other people. They all stood by the door, staying away but Martinez stepped forward.

When he reached Beth he crouched down in front of her. He held out a bottle to her. This one looked just like the other so it made Beth stop and think. She knew that Martinez would never want to hurt her but the Governor was watching. It would make sense if Martinez gave her a bottle of the same stuff but if it was really water then why was the Governor allowing it?

"Drink," the Governor spoke softly.

His tone made her worry more and over think. Knowing it would probably end up bad either way, Beth took the bottle from Martinez. Her hand shook as she carefully unscrewed the cap. As she brought the bottle to her lips she couldn't do it. She held it away from her and started into the open top.

Martinez took the bottle from her hands after a few moments of her just staring at it. She watched as he pressed it to his lips and drank. When he swallowed it he handed the bottle back. She kept her eyes on him in case he spat it out but instead he just opened his mouth to show it was empty.

"Now, drink," the Governor repeated in another soft tone.

Slowly Beth brought the bottle back to her lips. She was careful this time as she tipped the bottle up. This time it stung but nothing like before. The water slowly eased her cracked lips and soothed her throat. By the third mouthful she was able to swallow it all down a little better.

Without another word the Governor got up. He moved over to the door. As he left through it, Jackson, Merle and the other two guys followed after him. Martinez didn't say a word as he watched her drink. The concerned look on his face made her slow her drinking down. There was only a quarter of the water left by time she was able to stop.

"Thank you," she told him. Her voice croaked a little but it didn't feel half as bad as before. She screwed the top back on the bottle and set it down.

"I'm sorry I never came, he didn't want anyone to see you."

"Why not?"

"He wanted his trick to work," Martinez said sadly, looking at the ground. "It's the first of many. Like I said, he wants to confuse you."

"That's why he let me drink whatever that stuff was and then allowed you to give me actual water straight after," she said in realisation. "And why we was kind of enough to give me _two_ bathroom breaks but not enough food and water."

"He wants to break you," Martinez shrugged. "No doubt he'll want to use Merle again but Merle's getting suspicious."

"Suspicious of what?"

"Of how far the Governor is willing to go to get what he wants. Although from what I hear Merle has a better idea of where his brother is now so really he doesn't need you."

"He won't kill me," Beth gulped, trying to sound confident. "His brother would never forgive him."

"I hope to God you're right," Martinez sighed. "It won't take long before the Governor lets Jackson loose on you. He thinks I'm already having my way with you and sure he said I have a big say in that department when it comes to you but soon even I won't be able to stop him."

"I thought I'd seen and been through worse until Jackson came along," Beth said quietly. "I never want to go through that again but if it means you don't get into trouble then I'm willing to take one for the team."

"No, this isn't a team," Martinez told her firmly. "It's only you that needs to get out of this. No matter what happens Jackson won't lay a finger on you. I don't care if I have to face the Governor's wrath or not."

"You said it yourself, if he needs to he'll resort to extreme methods, he'll let Jackson and whoever else loose on me," Beth argued. "You can't stop everything and I won't let you get hurt just to buy me a few hours. You don't want me to risk my life for you? You don't want me to get hurt for you? Then you shouldn't have helped me."

Martinez reached out. He cupped her cheek with his hand and rested his forehead against hers. "I hate you," he mumbled.

"I hate you too," she said sadly.

They sat there for a long time. Neither of them saying another word. They didn't need to. Somewhere along the way they had created some type of attachment. In reality they hadn't been in each other's company that long at all but they were both willing to do whatever it took to get the other as far away from the Governor as possible.

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><p><strong>AN:** _So this chapter is quite subtle I guess but I really liked it, especially the end. Anyway up next there is a small time jump. I'm not sure when but things will get a bit violent and there will be trigger warnings coming up. Don't worry, I will warn you at the beginning of chapters before anything like that comes up._

R&R


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **_this chapter is a bit different compared to the last one. there are notes at the bottom about it and future chapters so be sure to check that out. anyway, enjoy! :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

Two Weeks Later 

It had been two long weeks since Beth and Martinez's little moment. It was close to three weeks since Beth was taken and no one had come for her yet. In the most part she was glad that her group hadn't come for her. She had heard no commotion and none of the people she saw looked worried, so Beth knew that no one had come for her. Surely if they had and failed then the Governor would use it against her, use it as away to get what he wanted. Beth was almost relieved that they hadn't come, she had experienced first hand what the men of Woodbury could do and she didn't want that to happen to anyone she loved.

Over the two weeks Beth had changed enough to survive. The Governor was still trying to confuse her so after she endured many hours of pain she was treated. Her treat was that she was allowed to go to the apartment she had been to before with Martinez and wash up. She was given better clothes and a bed to sleep in. Of course everyone thought that she was having sex with Martinez against her will but that never happened.

She was now at the portion of her days where she got that treat. Her body was bruised and sore. Most nights she was strung up in those chains until she felt like her arms were about to fall off. So far whenever she faced Jackson he beat her, almost like Merle did expect Jackson went for her body. He never raped her again although the Governor seemed to be coming round to the idea more and more. Merle came in a couple of times, but he never beat her, he just intimidated her and then started talking to her like she wasn't some kind of prisoner.

Beth constantly thought about the things that happened to her. She knew it didn't do well to dwell on such things but she couldn't help it. Even as she was being escorted up to the apartment she couldn't stop her mind from thinking about it. It didn't help that the man escorting her was gripping her arm so tight it felt like it was going to break in two but at the same time he was walking her along at a normal, leisurely pace. It was all part of the confuse Beth plan so she wasn't sure what way was up.

Her mind was thrown from her thoughts as the man threw her towards the apartment door. The apartment was on its own and was only used by those who did a lot of late night work for the Governor. It was out of the way so no chance of any Woodbury residents stumbling by. It was only a short walk between the entrance to the underground where she was kept and the door to the apartment. She knew the front door didn't face onto any main area of Woodbury otherwise they wouldn't risk taking her. Of course Beth was usually out of it or blind folded so she could never see exactly sure of any details. For all she knew it could be right next door but they took her in circles to make it seem longer.

She hit the door and just managed to push herself away from it in time for Martinez opening it up. She could just imagine the fake, twist grin that he would be showing. The way he would lick his lip and motion for the other guy to leave them be. Beth was always sure that was done because Martinez would always lay a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon, Beth," he said softly, pulling her gently through the door. "Let's get you inside."

Once they were in and the door was shut behind them, Martinez pulled the blindfold down so it hung around her neck. He smiled at her but Beth could see it wasn't in his eyes. He reached around her to untie her hands. When the rope fell to the floor she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. His arms came up to wrap around her. He held her close. Both of them took a moment to pretend like none of this was happening.

Martinez pulled away enough to look at her. He rested his forehead against hers. Their noses touched as Martinez let his eyes drift shut. As he let out a slow breath, Beth closed her own eyes. Martinez titled his head to the side a little just as Beth's arms slacked a little around his neck. Her fingers locked together behind the back of his neck. Just was she was about to open her eyes to look at him when their temporary peace was shattered.

"Open up," Merle yelled from outside the door as he hammered on it.

He wasn't angry, he was just being loud. Even Beth knew that was typical Merle. Obnoxious was one of his more obvious traits. Martinez muttered something under his breath as he pulled away from Beth completely. As he stood he helped her up. She watched as he fished into his pockets for something. Eventually he produced a key.

"You've been up here long enough," he whispered to her urgently. "Take this and lock the bedroom door from the inside. Make sure to slide it back out."

She didn't ask questions as she went to the bedroom door. As she slipped inside and shut it, she spotted Martinez pulling his shirt up over his head. She locked the door behind her like she was told. As she did she heard Merle yelling again. As quickly as possible she slid the key out under the door. There were a few seconds of nothing before she heard the front door open.

"Heard ya got the girl up here?"

"Yeah, she's in the bedroom."

"Already?" There was a pause where Beth was sure Merle would have smirked or nodded his head in approval. "I see why you're the only one who's really allow to touch her."

"Yeah, well you interrupted us." She could just imagine him motioning to his shirtless form for emphasis. "I had to lock her in the room."

Beth looked down at herself as she heard them walking across the room. There was barely a break in their stride so she figured Martinez had been smart about picking the key up in front of Merle.

"I've got the key here somewhere." They were on the other side of the door and she heard him audibly pat his pockets. Beth looked at the button up shirt she had been given most recently. She gripped the fabric and pulled. It tore apart and buttons went flying at all angles. "Ah, found it," she heard Martinez say. Beth didn't have time to wander how he did it. She wrapped the ruined shit around herself and took a step back.

The door opened and they both walked in. Martinez looked at Beth in shock but he quickly regained his composure. Merle looked between the two of them with a smirk.

"How come she ain't tied up?"

"I didn't have time to do that and deal with you," Martinez muttered. "Plus, she's not gonna run off."

"How do you know that?" Merle questioned, looking like he genuinely wanted to know.

"She's knows it works out better for her in the long run," he explained. He moved over to Beth and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She tried her best to look disgusted as she turned away from him slightly.

"Yeah, she really looks like she wants to stick around," Merle chuckled, waving his hand in Beth's general direction.

"Well, it's no fun if they surrender."

Merle laughed, nodding his head in agreement. "Well ya ain't wrong about that."

Beth looked at him then. She had to fight not to push away from Martinez and step closer to Merle. Because in the latter she saw a lie behind his eyes. Although Merle seemed to be laughing and joking about what Martinez supposedly did to her, Beth could see it wasn't true. In Merle's eyes she could see that even he was a little disturbed by the fact that she was potentially being used for sex more times than were imaginable.

If he kept showing this side then Beth hoped that she and Martinez could talk to him. That way she would be sure if Merle decided to help her then Martinez would be safe.

"How long ya got her for?"

Martinez shrugged. "Hasn't been decided, whenever he wants her back down there. Was there something you actually wanted?"

"There's a run happening soon, we're not sure when," he informed. "Governor wants you on it though."

"Who else is going besides you?"

"Couple of rookies but I don't know much else," Merle admitted. "I'm sure we could handle it alone anyway."

"I'm in," Martinez agreed, trying not to sound reluctant about leaving Beth for such a long time. "Just need to give me a heads up on when it'll be."

Merle tipped an imaginary hat in Martinez's direction. He backed out of the door and put his hand on the door handle. "I'll leave you two at it."

He winked at them before he shut the door firmly. They heard Merle chuckle as he walked through the apartment. Both of them held their breath, but as the front door open and closed they both looked at each other. Martinez dropped his arm from around her and moved over to the chest of drawers. From one of them he pulled out some clean clothes. He moved back to Beth and handed the clothes to her.

"You should go and wash up now."

He said it with such lack of emotion that it worried her. So she took the clothes from him but didn't move. "It's okay. It would be suspicious if you turned the run down. I'll be fine."

"If anything happens while I'm gone..."

"Then it won't be your fault," she told him firmly. "If you don't go you could cause more damage. I'm not leaving this room until you admit that you going is the best decision."

He looked at her. He was trying to logically work it out. He couldn't save her anyway. If the Governor wanted to truly hurt Beth then he would. He would do it with no games and there would be no chance of anyone getting in the way. Eventually he let out a low sigh. "Fine, _okay_. It's the best choice. Now will you go wash up? We don't know how long we've got."

She reached up and hugged him with one arm. She gave him a small smile as she turned and left the room. Normally they knew how long they had and they would make sure Beth got her energy back the best way possible but this time was different. She could be in the apartment for mere hours or a few days. They didn't know. All Beth knew for sure was that she wanted to sleep and even talk to Martinez about something other than their current, constant predicament.

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><p><strong>AN: **_okay so there's a chance of some easy chapters coming up where there will be no violence or any kind of warnings (maybe minimal mentions or such), however we will be entering a whole group of chapters that will have various warnings. You will see a lot of **strong violence warnings**, you will then start seeing **minor trigger warnings**, then some** major trigger warnings** and then some **sexual violence and strong violence warnings**. These will be over various chapters and it's not for a little bit but I wanted to give you guys a head up now so you're prepared and can decide if this really is the kind of thing you want to read. **I will still warn you at the beginning of each appropriate chapter. **It won't be long after those chapters till Beth gets out of Woodbury. It might not seem it now but you will see Beth grow into a much stronger character._

_Anyway, thank you guys for the reviews, follows and favourites. It means a lot :)_

_R&R_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **_I was hoping my messages would be working by time I posted this chapter but apparently not. I managed to message a couple of you but I was going to message all of you who reviewed the last chapter to thank you because I was starting to have my worries about this story. To all of you (especially DarylDixon'sLover because I couldn't message you back), I know there are some unanswered questions, for example, why the group haven't come for Beth yet. It will all be explained. All I can say is that Beth isn't a hundred percent aware of her surroundings and where she is exactly. You have to remember that it's impossible to explain everything when the story mainly follows Beth who spends her days tied up. She is just as out of the loop as you guys. If you guys have any other concerns then please leave them in a review or PM me, I'd rather try and clear things up than have any of you go on feeling confused as you read :) Thank you so much for the follows, favourites and reviews, it means the world to me and I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

After she had washed up and changed, Beth was greeted with food. Martinez was still a little off but he did seem a little better than before. For the most part he at least tried to keep the worried expression off of his face. The two of them ate in silence. It wasn't much but it never really was. They made the most of it though and after their food was cleared Beth had moved to lie down in the bedroom.

While she had laid across the bed, Martinez had followed her. He moved over to the bed and laid down beside her. There was a bit of space between them as they laid on their sides facing each other. It was all they did for a good couple of hours or so. Neither of them would say a word. Every now and again Beth would drift off to sleep for a few minutes here and there before she woke herself up.

"Martinez, what's really bothering you?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," he tried to assure.

"I don't believe that," she said firmly, reaching her hand out to his. "I rely on you a lot. I'd like to think we're friends now."

"He always tells me when he wants you back down there."

"What's your point?" she questioned, sensing how unsure he was.

"Well, I'm guessing he never gave me an exact time because he's planning something," Martinez explained. "He probably doesn't want you back until whatever he's planning is set into motion. You've been here a while now and it's getting too dangerous, he needs to break you."

"He knows where my people are, why doesn't he just go and get them?"

"Because if he has you on side then he's got an advantage."

"Insider knowledge," Beth mumbled, rolling onto her back. "Back ways into the prison, routines, the groups skills… Anything he could possibly need, I could give to him."

"If he breaks you," Martinez agreed. "You're either going to trust him or you're going to be so scared of him that you'll do and say anything to survive."

"I would never give up my group," she argued. She rolled off of the bed and stood up. Her arms folded over her chest as she kept her back to the bed. "No matter what he does to me, I would never give any information on them just to give myself some time."

"You think that now." She heard the bed creak as he rolled off of it. The floorboards groaned a little as he moved round the bed to where she stood. "I know you would never willingly do it but I guarantee he can make you into a whole other person, a person that would give any information just to be free for even a second."

"How many people has he done this to?"

Martinez was beside her now. "I've never seen the Governor hate anyone as much as he hates your group."

Beth looked sideways at him. She took that to mean that he hadn't really done this to anyone else, at least no one living or undeserving. That scared her the most. Apart from her group she was the first innocent to experience the horror of the Governor. He was brutal enough as it was but now she had no doubts in her mind that this was only the start.

"Be honest with me," she said softly. "Do you think I'll survive this?"

"It depends on what he throws at you, you've proven to be stronger than any of us ever expected," he told her honestly. "You've even surprised me a little."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She laughed, turning back towards the bed. "I'm going to try and got to sleep, and I want you to join me again."

As she undressed a little and climbed under the covers, he did the same thing. Like usual he made sure to reach up and handcuff one of her hands to the headboard. One hand was always free so she could be at least a little bit comfy. If he could he would just leave her be but he couldn't risk it. He knew that if he got caught helping her in any kind of way it wouldn't just fall back on him, it would also fall back on Beth.

"Where is this apartment?" she questioned.

"At the edge of Woodbury," he explained quietly. "The front door faces away from any main buildings so no one can see us go in and out."

"Why am I always out of it or have a sack over my head when they bring me here?"

"Safety, they don't want you to know the layout too well," he shrugged, trying to explain it to her as best as he could.

"I can guess some things already," she told him.

He looked sideways at her. "Like what?"

"Either we're still in the underground for the whole transfer or we're outside, either way we don't pass through a main corridor 'cause I figured those would be a little bit warmer or insulated," she explained. That she had worked out a while ago. There was no way she went through an actual building because before the apocalypse they would have most likely been insulated to keep in some kind of heat. When she was transferred to the apartment and vice versa, she always felt a breeze. "I also know that the distance is short enough to get me there quickly but not too short that anything being done to me could be heard from the main street."

"You're too smart for your own good," he said sadly. "Don't sit there thinking it will work though. Woodbury is highly protected, you wouldn't get far if you tried to escape. I would have let you go before now if I knew you stood a chance."

"One day it will be safe and we'll both get out of here."

"I thought you wanted to try and sleep," he muttered, closing his eyes to emphasise the end of the conversation.

She took the hint and before she closed her eyes she muttered back, "you're stuck with me."

* * *

><p>The two of them had fallen asleep at some point. Neither of them knew how much time had passed but there was suddenly knocking on the front door. Beth rubbed her eyes with her free hand as she looked at Martinez. It was definitely late outside but that in itself was no indication of what time it could be.<p>

Martinez looked at her as he rolled out of bed. From the look on his face, he was equally as shocked. Beth had no choice but to strain her ears to listen as he pulled on some clothes and left the room. There was a couple more knocks and then the door opened. She could hear voices, male and at least two (besides Martinez's), but there wasn't much else she could pinpoint.

"And how do I know the Governor ordered this?"

"He wants her back down, are you going to argue with that?"

Martinez appeared in the doorway with two guys. Both of them glanced towards Beth before looking back at Martinez. It appeared that her treat was over. It was time for her to go back to her cage.

"Of course not but I'm not getting on his shit list because you assholes thought it would be a smart idea to have some fun of your own."

"We all know she's off limits until you give the okay or the Governor orders it"

All four of them looked towards the sound of Merle's voice. Martinez must have left the door open slightly. Merle appeared among the four of them and they spilled into the bedroom.

"They're here to take her back," Merle confirmed for Martinez. "The Governor asked them to get her the same time he told me that our run is today."

"I told you to give me a heads up," Martinez growled.

"Are you backing out?" One of the men asked, smirking at the situation. "Thought you didn't want to be on the Governor's shit list?"

"I never said I was backing out," Martinez muttered. He moved over to grab his shoes. He sat down on the end of the bed as he pulled them on. "Just sayin', a heads up would have been nice."

"I know how ya feel," Merle agreed, rolling his hand as if to speed everything along. "Now unchain her so they can go and so can we."

Beth and Martinez shared a brief look as he knelt on the bed beside her. He leaned over her and unhooked the handcuffs. The second they sprung loose Beth curled up, covering herself. Martinez took a breath before he gripped her arm harshly and yanked her away from the headboard. As he stepped off of the bed before he yanked her again, pulling her to the edge of the bed.

"Get changed," he ordered.

She practically fell off of the bed as she rushed to get the clothes she had removed before. As quickly as she could she pulled on her clothes. The second the last bit was on her arm was grabbed again. This time it wasn't Martinez.

"Let's go," Merle yelled as left the room. "We got a lot of shit to do today."

Martinez stood back. The two guys left the room next, taking Beth with them. Martinez followed out and gradually they left the apartment. Martinez was doing all he could to keep eyes on Beth for as long as possible but eventually he had to tear his eyes away and walk in a completely different direction. They managed to share one last look before a sack was pulled over Beth's head.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 **

Martinez and Merle jumped out of the truck bed as it stopped. The rookies they had been paired with stayed in their seats, ready to drive if they needed to. They had been part of the inner circle for a long time but there was a lot they didn't know. Both Merle and Martinez knew that they could handle the run on their own but the Governor was convinced that they take a couple of pairs of extra hands.

"How come ya care so much about the girl?" Merle asked as they cleared out a house.

"I never said I cared."

"Well you never seem thrilled about her bein' taken away."

Martinez rummaged through the high cupboards in the kitchen. He was knocking all the appropriate stuff into a bag to take back to the car. "I don't like my fun being ruined. Certain things a man's gotta keep to himself."

"Couldn't agree more," Merle chuckled. "As long as that's all it is."

"I'm still human," Martinez muttered as he searched every crevice he could find. "Of course I have my doubts every now and again. I've seen a lot of shit but it still hits ya when someone can do that to another human being. Although I bet you don't have that problem."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Merle demanded as he grabbed Martinez's arm and forced him to turn around.

"It means ya didn't seem to have a problem when you were beating her up."

"And forcing her to have sex is any better?" Merle growled, his face so close to Martinez that he could feel Merle's breath fan across his face. "I'm only about doin' my job not hurtin' innocents for pleasure, why do ya think I ain't raised my hand to her again?"

"I wonder how you managed to make that fly with the Governor," Martinez smirked. "Not raising another hand to her must cause suspicion."

"I'm good at lyin' when I need to," Merle responded. He finally let go of Martinez's arm and took a step back.

"Well I won't tell him it's 'cause you're having doubts if you stop bringing up me and her."

"Deal, but first you tell me once and for all what's going on."

Martinez sighed as he filled up the rest of his bag. He knew he couldn't tell Merle the whole truth so he had to be smart about what he did say. If he wasn't then Merle might see straight through it and really start asking questions.

"I'm just like you," he explained eventually. "I don't think she deserves half the shit she gets but I get what the Governor is doing and I'm on his side. So although I've had my way with her, we don't have sex every night. That's why she doesn't look as torn up as you'd expect. I make it look like I've had sex with her to keep the Governor happy. Having someone fight you off every night doesn't do wonders for your ego, despite what others think."

"Jackson," Merle said knowingly as they moved upstairs. "I thought I was an asshole."

"So did I," Martinez commented. "Still do."

They shared a look but neither of them said anything else. When they reached the top of the stairs they went separate ways to check out each room. This was the first stop of many. Keeping the peace would be the best way to get through the next couple of days.

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><p>It didn't surprise Beth one little bit that nothing had changed about the room. It was almost a routine now to be dragged inside and chained up so that she could barely stand on her feet and would undoubtedly put pressure on her arms. It was all very much the norm in her life at the moment but there were subtle changes. The atmosphere felt different. The sounds that bounced around the room seemed to echo even more. The air felt more damp. It was like Beth was only just really taking her surroundings in.<p>

Suddenly Martinez's worries didn't seem so far-fetched anymore. Something definitely wasn't right. It was clear now. The Governor was smart, even when he was desperate everything was planned so why wouldn't he let Martinez know when she was needed back? Beth tried to think of as many reasons as possible but none of them seemed to show good results for her.

Her group hadn't come, something she was still thankful for because it meant they were being smart about this but with her only lifeline on a run, she suddenly wished her group would come to get her. She needed her Daddy's kind words and her sister's hug. She needed Glenn to say something stupid and then get all embarrassed about it so she could laugh. She needed to hear Rick shout orders out and Daryl to take down the enemy with his crossbow. She needed them and everyone else back at the prison, each of them to make her feel something new. For the first time since arriving she was desperate for her group to come.

"Well, well, little girl," she heard Jackson sing as the door swung open. "Looks like my privileges are still provoked but the Governor says we got a play date nonetheless."

Beth tried to hold her ground as best as she could. She had come too far to break down just yet. Jackson took a step towards her. His hands were already clenched into fists as he smirked at her. She knew that this couldn't be all there was to the Governor's latest plan but it certainly was a start. This time she wasn't going to have someone to come and clean her up. She really was defenceless and it had been a while since she felt that way.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	12. Chapter 12

**WARNING: **various degrees of violence.

_I did some condensing of chapters. There is violence in this chapter and the next chapter will have trigger warnings. The chapter after that should have some more violence, especially sexual violence. After that you will start to find out where the group have been and there will be constant Meth interaction from there on out.  
>After that you really will get some Meth interaction and answers about where the group have been.<em>

**WARNING: **various degrees of violence.

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><p><strong>Chapter<strong> **12**

It had been 6 hours since Beth had been dragged back down to her cell. The stones walls looked even darker and the damp air was even more revolting to smell. Everything seemed a whole lot worse when mixed with the dripping of blood accompanied by the metallic taste that filled the air. Her body ached and she was surprised by how much skin was broken. The bruises were already forming and they framed each little red cut she had. Her clothes blocked the view which meant if she didn't move then for a few seconds at a time she could forget that she had been beaten.

Jackson had targeted her body. He threw blow after blow as she hung from her usual chains. The had been tightened exceptionally hard this time so that whenever Jackson punched or kicked her she would go swinging backwards, her toes leaving the ground so that she was high in the air. It all put an even bigger strain on her arms, causing her even more pain.

He kept it up for a while, but Beth was positive he could have last longer. As he went for a break she was left hanging, reeling in the pain and having to suffer even more.

* * *

><p>It was another 6 hours before Jackson came back. Beth was thrown from her thoughts as he threw the door open, causing it to slam against the wall. Her heart was pounding even more against her chest. It's erratic behaviour made her ache even more. With every step he took his grin only grew. Beth was positive that he could hear the sound of her heart getting louder and louder. The sound excited him and only got him more pumped up for the latest interrogation session.<p>

"You ready to talk yet?"

Beth shook her head, not trusting her voice. She wasn't going to break. During Jackson's last assault he would ask her random questions about her group and the prison. Some of them seemed completely irrelevant but whenever she didn't answer he would hit her harder. No matter how little and irrelevant the questions seemed, Beth wasn't going to talk.

"Not even one little world?" When she shook her head again Jackson smiled as he shook his head at her. "Wrong answer."

Before she could even try and brace herself the first hit came. Jackson's fist collided with her stomach. A second blow followed and another and then another. Beth's stomach twisted with anticipation for every one. She tensed each time his fist made contact and it seemed to only cause more pain. The next hit was an elbow to her shoulder. Soon he was throwing punch after punch so quickly that Beth could barely keep up.

As Beth swung about on the chains, Jackson stepped over to the controls. Every part of Beth's body stung so badly that even her clothes were starting to irritate her. As well as her broken body her mind was subjected to confusion as the chains loosened and she was able to drop to floor. Once the chains were as slack as they could go Jackson came back over to her.

He cupped her cheek before his hand slipped round to grip her hair. He yanked her up harshly. Beth was sure that he could rip her hair out at the roots if he pulled any harder. Once he got her into a standing position he reached down and undid the handcuffs so that her hands were free. Before Beth could marvel in her freedom she was slammed up against the wall. Jackson pressed his body against hers to keep her still.

"Now, I'm going to ask you again, are you going to talk?"

Before Beth could even think to shake her head, Jackson pulled out his knife. He pressed the blade to her throat. Slowly he trailed the blade down the middle of her throat then across her collarbone towards her shoulder. As he reached her shoulder he pressed the tip hard against her skin. It nipped it slightly, causing a droplet of blood to form. Compared to the rest of her pain it was nothing so Beth looked him straight in the eye and shook her head.

Jackson placed his knee between her legs to keep her absolutely still. He ran the blade from her shoulder and down her arm. He held the other arm in place against the wall so she couldn't move. As the blade trailed down her arm it barely made a mark but as he reached her wrist things changed. Jackson twisted the blade around slightly so he could grip her wrist and hold it high against the wall. With his other hand he took the blade.

"Last chance," he warned.

She gritted her teeth in anticipation and shook her head. The second her head completed her first shake Jackson raised the knife and slammed it down. The blade went through her hand. She screamed out in pain as he held the knife in place, pinning her hand to the wall. With her other hand she tried to reach up and pull his hand away but she couldn't reach far enough.

As she clawed at him he kneed her multiple times in the stomach and even elbowed the side of her face. Eventually she stopped her attempts to get rid of the blade. As she calmed her movements and began to sob, Jackson twisted the blade still inside of her hand. With each turn Beth cried out and hot tears fell rapidly down her cheeks. Her hand was on fire and her arm was already covered in blood.

"Big mistake," he hissed in her ear. "You're gonna wish you said something sooner."

He pulled the blade from her hand and stepped back. She fell to the ground in the heap, unable to break her fall. Before she could curl up or move away Jackson handcuffed her good hand to the chain again. He then turned without another word and left her alone in the room.

The second he was gone she held her bad hand up to examine it. The blade had gone right through and the cut was no longer clean thanks to Jackson twisting the knife. There was no way she could use it properly for a while. The blood was still flowing but it was getting less and less. Knowing she had to do something Beth gripped her shirt and just about managed to rip a strip off. She awkwardly wrapped it around her hand and tied it off enough to stop it from completely falling off. She then curled against the wall and held her bad hand to her chest in an attempt to keep the cloth wrapped around it better.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	13. Chapter 13

**WARNING: **Some possible trigger warnings and a bit of violence

**A/N: **_Good news so I managed to condense some things down and rework some things, I don't want to give anything away as to why that's good so make sure to check the note at the end when you're done or even scroll down and read that first if you need to. Thank you for any kind of reviews, favourites and follows. If there's something you were worried about or wanted answered try the notes at the bottom, there might be some answers there. Enjoy!_

**WARNING: **Some possible trigger warnings and a bit of violence

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><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

Beth had passed out at some point after Jackson had left her. Between the amount of crying she had done and the over thinking, she was exhausted. Her head had been throbbing so much that she was sure she would have a permanent headache, and it only got worse. When she started to come to she was knocked out from behind.

When she woke up again she really did feel like she had a headache. It took her a moment or two to realise that her surroundings were different. She was still in some kind of underground room but this one smaller and a lot darker. It took her longer than usual to get her eyes adjusted but eventually she was able to make out smaller details. Across from her was a door, at the bottom of it was what looked like a smaller door. As she scanned the room it seemed like there was nothing else in the room except for a wooden chair that was in the middle of it.

Her eyes drifted down to her hands and as they focused she noticed the bandage around her injured hand. It was tinted red but it looked like it was doing a good job with keeping her hand clean, it was certainly doing a better job than the scrap she had wrapped around it before. It felt better too. Although her hand was pulsating a little the blinding heat was gone.

As she held her hand up in front of her to examine it her eyes caught something hanging from the ceiling. As she dropped her hand and looked closer, her mouth dropped open. Hanging in the middle of the room was a noose. Below it on the ground was the wooden chair. It was clearly a deliberate placement. The Governor would never let her die unless it was on his terms so all the noose was was some new kind of torture.

How it could be torturous, she couldn't be sure but as she stared at it she slowly started to understand. Switching off the bad thoughts that flooded her mind she looked away from it and curled up as best as she could against the wall, trying to block out the way her body protested the movements.

* * *

><p>Merle, Martinez and the two rookies set up camp. The rookies sorted out the stuff they had collected to make sure they had everything that had been checked off on their list. When they were sure it was there they would stack it in the bed of the truck. While they did that Merle and Martinez mapped out a route. It had been a day and a half since they left for the run and they had almost everything they needed. There were just a few things left and they wanted to be smart about it.<p>

"How long do you think this is going to take us?" Martinez asked as they marked down another spot.

"Another day at least," Merle explained, his voice barely a mumble. "Depends how often we stop to catch our breaths."

"Why does he even need all of this stuff?" He looked behind him and motioned to the stuff around and in the car.

"Probably to get us out of the way."

"Of what?" Martinez asked curiously, noting the obvious tone Merle had. The two of them were always in on any of the Governor's plans, that's how highly respected they were so it didn't seem logical for them to be out of the loop.

"Because I won't beat her no more unless it's necessary and you're always around her."

Martinez grew silent for a moment. Him not being there would mean he was out of the way and if Merle didn't do what the Governor wanted then he would just get in the way so there was no point in him being there. Not wanting to think about what the Governor might be doing to Beth he changed the subject slightly. "I heard she tried to get you to let her go. Would you have done it?"

"Doubt it," Merle shrugged. "I ain't a nice guy."

"She's so young... I can't help but feel sorry for her sometimes."

"Well, I'm not about to risk my life for a girl I barely know. Maybe she don't deserve all of this but rather her than me."

"I'm surprised she's still holding on," Martinez spoke honestly.

"Yeah, if I felt like my group had forgotten about me I would do something drastic too- Oh wait." He held up his arm. Martinez looked at the apparatus at the end and rolled his eyes. Everyone knew the story of how Merle was chained to a roof by some Sheriff in this group and eventually had to cut off his own hand.

"You know, I was thinking… Maybe she should know, it might make a difference," Martinez spoke up, ignoring Merle's comment before tagging a lie on the end. "Maybe if she knows then she'll lose all hope and it will be easier to break her."

"Our orders are to not tell her," Merle warned, pointing a finger at him. "The others have got it covered. We keep the girl out of the loop, the more she knows the harder things will be."

"I just think-"

Merle grabbed a burning stick and waved it in Martinez's face, causing the latter to fall quiet and lean away slightly. "Say another word about it and I'll kill you myself."

Both men fell silent as the stick was thrown back onto the fire. The two of them put their heads down and got back on with their work. Since the day Beth had been captured they had all been lying to her. Martinez wanted to tell her every time they were together but he never did. It could 'cause her downfall and result in things getting even worse for the two of them. Beth had to be in the dark because it meant that any possible escape would never work. It meant that no matter how well she did, she would never be ahead of them.

Eventually Martinez knew he would have to tell her and it would probably break her, but he hoped that it would give her enough reassurance to keep her going and survive what she had gone through.

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><p>Beth had been in her new room for a couple of days at the very least. She couldn't be sure how long exactly due to her being unconscious when she first came in. She wasn't tied to anything so moving around freely came easy. She avoided the middle of the room where the noose hung. She had been left two small cups filled with cold beans over her time there. It was put through the smaller door. Other than that she was given no contact and nothing to drink.<p>

If she needed the toilet she had to make do with the drain that sat at the edge of the room. She never needed to go though. The thought of it alone didn't help much. If the drain was clogged in anyway then the smell would backlog and fill the room. As the time passed her mind started to slip slowly. Her lips were dry and her throat sore from the lack of liquid. The thought of not having a drop to drink made it feel worse.

Her world was getting darker. It was like everything that had happened to her recently was finally hitting her now that she was really alone. More often than not her eyes would drift to the noose. The constant lack of light in the room didn't help her mood. It pushed her further into the darkness. The lack of communication made her feel lonely, leaving her mind with itself. Her thoughts would run wild and hit the darkest of places. Her hand was healing but not quick enough. Her bandage was getting old already and she had nothing clean to replace it with when the time would come. The thought of it getting infected worried her even more. The rest of her body still ached. There was dried blood all over her that made her smell even worse than she already did. The blood also made parts of her clothing stiff and uncomfortable to wear.

Between her mind constantly worrying, her body smelling so bad that she felt like she was going to be sick, her clothes being uncomfortable, her body still aching from the beatings, her hand getting more chances of being infected and the having no communication with anyone, the noose was becoming more appealing. Every time she looked at it she stared a little longer at it and as the third day started to come to a close she finally moved towards it.

She stood a little away from it. Her hands rested on her hips as she looked up at it. The longer she stared at it the more those horrible feelings she had pushed down since her capture bubbled up again. As she stared at it she could hear the sound of her father clicking his tongue. Her head whipped towards the sound but she couldn't see him anywhere. When she was sure her mind was just playing tricks on her she faced forward again.

Carefully she reached out towards the noose but soon dropped her hand again. Her eyes drifted shut and she became absolutely still. Her mind started to think about how the noose might feel, that it couldn't hurt to just put it around her neck. She didn't have to jump. But if she did and she was lucky enough for it to be quick then the Governor would lose his leverage. Her body would only fuel her group to fight harder and win this war.

However, just as she brought up the courage to even shuffle closer to the wooden chair, she was interrupted.

_Bethy_.

She looked to the side from where her Father's voice had come from but again he wasn't there. She snapped her eyes shut once more and tried to block him out but it wasn't working.

_What are you doing?_ he questioned. _Don't even think about stepping any closer to that._

"You're not here," she muttered.

_Maybe not but if you wanted to get up on that chair, put that rope around your neck and jump, then why would your mind be talking you out of it?_

She blinked back tears as she opened her eyes again. Her 'Father' was right. This was really her mind talking to her so why would her own mind be talking her out of stepping up on that chair if that's what she really wanted to do? A trick was her best bet. Another false sense of security before she kicked the bucket.

"Leave me alone."

_You're not alone._

"Then where are you?"

_We haven't left you, _his voice promised._ Deep down you know that. Deep down you know that there must be a reason why we haven't come for you. It's been almost a month Bethy, what could stop us from coming for you?_

"I don't know," she sobbed, her fingers reaching out towards the rope again.

_If you get up on that chair, you might never know._

"And I have no guarantee I'll get my answers. It's not reason enough to stop, what if you're all dead?"

_What about Martinez then? He's still alive. Your death would have horrendous results on him and his betrayal will become obvious to those around him._

"He can survive without me, I'd only hold him back."

_What about your sister then? And me? If we're dead then how do you suppose we died?"_

"By looking for me," Beth answered sadly as she moved even further forward. "By the Governor."

_Then don't you want to see the look on his face when you drive a blade through him for what he's done?_

Beth blinked and took a step back at the twist her mind had taken. The darkness inside of her was slowly being projected onto something else. Getting up there and putting the rope around her neck still appealed to her but a hatred for the Governor and the others grew deep inside of her. If she died then maybe things would be better for her but what about everyone else? As far she knew she still had a family out there and her duty was to protect them.

Slowly, fighting some of the darkness inside of her, she turned away from the noose. Gasping for breath she stumbled away from it and got as close to the back wall as possible in an attempt to stay as far away as possible. Every glance at it only defined the hole that was growing inside of her. It became more and more appealing but she knew she had to fight it. Fight it till the point where she could turn it into anger aimed at the enemy. The second Martinez got back they were leaving and this time she didn't care if she died trying.

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><p>Fighting the darkness was a lot harder than Beth expected, especially as the hours passed by. Still she kept on fighting, she knew in the long run it was the best thing to do. Occasional she felt like she was getting stronger. It sometimes only lasted a few seconds but even those few seconds were enough to remind her that it was worth the struggle.<p>

Sometimes all she saw was the appeal. The fact that she could end this for herself and no longer have to struggle. It didn't help that this was her first real way out. Unless someone hit her one too many times, she never had a permanent way out like this. She could have always tried to drown herself or find another way while washing up at the apartment but that would mean Martinez would find her and she wasn't sure she could let that happen.

So she fought it. Beth reminded herself of all the good there was in life still, no matter how small. She reminded herself that she had a family she needed to see again and at least two people that she would like to run a blade through. No matter how little any positive thought was, she went with it. Anything to stop her from going crazy and hitting the darkest of places.

It made her more exhausted than ever but she wouldn't give up. Soon she started to feel the affect. She was in and out of consciousness so often that she was never really sure if it was day time or night time. It didn't help that being in constant darkness threw off her internal clock. It was more or less that way until Jackson came in and startled her.

She barely had time to react before he was making his way over to her. She managed to sit up but she couldn't get to her feet before he gripped her arm and yanked her up. He checked her over a couple of times, assessing the damage he had done to her.

"How do ya like your new room?" he asked her, motioning behind him with his free hand in the general direction of the noose.

"It's cosy."

He growled at her lack of emotion before dragging her away from the wall. "Cosy, huh?"

It was clearly the opposite response he was expecting. Beth took a moment to make sure she was relaxed enough before she said, "yeah, it's kind of comfortable here."

Jackson's hand clenched into a fist and as he pulled it back Beth made a snap decision. Before he could launch his attack she brought her knee up. It connected with his stomach, hard enough to make him drop his arm. She brought her knee up twice more until he let go of her completely.

She stumbled backwards, refusing to take her eyes off of him. Slowly he straighten up. His hand held his stomach as he glared at her. She ignored the way her knee screamed out at her. She had already angered him, there was no way she could stop. Every time he stepped towards her, she would step back. Seeing he possibility of some resistance, Jackson pulled out his blade. With his knife raised he moved a lot quicker towards her.

"Stop it now and the consequences won't be so bad."

Beth didn't believe a word of that. She could see the evil glint behind his eyes. If anything he was going to make her surfer even more. So as he lunged for her she darted out of the way. She almost fell to the floor but she just about managed to keep her balance. She could hear him coming up behind her.

As Beth went to turn around she spotted the chair. As fast as she could, she grabbed the chair and swung around. It collided hard with the side of Jackson, knocking him over. He groaned as he moved to get up. Without any hesitation Beth hit him again with the chair and then again. She continued to hit him until he stopped trying to get up. She would be sure she killed him if it wasn't for the rise and fall of his chest. She took a step back from him and dropped the chair.

As it clattered to the floor, the door creaked. She looked over to it to see Martinez standing there. She wasn't sure how long he had been standing there but his emotion was hard to read. Slowly Beth dropped to the floor and began to sob.

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><p><strong>AN: **_So, because I condensed this down and reworked some things it means Beth's escape will happen in the next chapter. Right at the start pretty much. You will also get answers with where the others have been. Now I do have to say that all the dark stuff isn't gone. Some of the dark content will be during Beth's healing process as she tries to over come what she's been through. So next we have the escape and parts of Meth, enjoy._

R&R


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNING: **mild(?) swearing

**Important A/N:** firstly there's another important A/N at the end of this chapter. :) _But anyway, hey, it's been a while. I would like to apologise for that. If you follow me and not just this story then you'll know that I have been updating just not this one. I wanted to take a little break before we got into the next phase of this story. Hopefully some questions will be answered in the next couple of chapters. I apologise now if they're not the answers/explanations you're looking for but hopefully they are and you'll continue to enjoy this story :) Thanks for any and all support you guys have shown and we should be back to regular updates from now on :)_

**WARNING: **mild(?) swearing

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

As Beth's sobs got louder and more intense Martinez knew he had do something. He still had his gun from his recent trip so he pulled it out before making his way over to her. When he reached her he kept the gun trained on Jackson as he wrapped an arm around Beth and tried to pull her into a standing position. Eventually he was able to get her to stand up and when she was steady on her feet he guided her away from Jackson just in case he started to come to.

"Are you okay?" he questioned as he turned her around to face him.

At first he thought she wasn't going to reply but suddenly she nodded. "I'm fine. I just... I didn't know what to do."

"I know, you did the right thing," Martinez assured as he pulled her into his side.

"He's going to kill me when he wakes up," she gasped, the hysteria taking over.

"No he won't," Martinez told her in a calming tone. "He won't because I'm getting you out of here."

Beth pulled away so that she could look at him. "Why now?"

"Because this was too much of a close call," he admitted. "You've been through so much already, but who knows what he could have done. You're right, this time he could have killed you. I'm sick of all of this. I'm sick of lying and following that man's orders. I'm getting you out of here. It shouldn't be too difficult."

"Lying about what?"

"I'll explain later but you have to come with me."

Beth wanted her answers but she knew that there was no point in knowing them if she was going to stick around and no doubt die. Taking a hold of Martinez's hand she allowed him to pull her from the room. He still had his gun which he held up in front of them, ready to shoot anyone who got in their way. It was dark and Beth knew for sure they had to be underground, at least partially.

As they came across a big door that sat at a slant Beth knew that this was it. They were almost out of there when they heard a noise behind them. Martinez pulled Beth behind him as he pointed the gun into the darkness. Out of it stepped Merle. He grinned at the sight of the two of them but Beth could see that he was just as on edge.

"They know she's missing," Merle told them. "I was just behind 'em when they went to check on her. They got to the room first and I heard the Governor tellin' everyone to come after her."

"So you're here to kill us?" Martinez questioned as he kept the gun trained on Merle.

"No, I'm gonna help," he explained. "Never been much of a good guy but even I think he's gone too far. This place is small, we can maybe hold 'em off if one of us stays."

"And I'm guessing you know who should," Martinez said knowingly.

Merle chuckled as he nodded his head. "Yeah, you should."

"No," Beth argued, the weight of the situation finally snapping her back to her senses. "You should stay. You're monster enough to fit in with these people."

"I'm the only one with a reason to help you," Merle growled. "You know where my brother is so I need you. Martinez can say he came to check on you, found Jackson and you managed to slip away. He chased you but I got there first and stopped him."

Martinez let out a heavy sigh as he stepped away from Beth and towards Merle. "He's right, it's the only way that makes sense. Merle's too ruthless, he wouldn't let me get away with you. Me staying is the only plausible way."

"No, you can both come with me," Beth pleaded, not wanting to leave Martinez behind.

"If I stay I can keep him off your trail for as along as possible," Martinez tried to reason. He looked at Merle's gun. Slowly they moved to swap sides."Do it."

"Unlock the doors," Merle told Beth as he handed her the keys. When she took them he looked back at Martinez. When he heard the locks click open he took out his gun and aimed at Martinez's leg. When Martinez nodded his head Merle fired a shot.

Martinez grit his teeth to try and hold in his scream as the shot had him crumbling to the floor. Beth screamed but Merle was grabbing her and pushing the doors open. He pulled her through and pushed her away as he slammed the wooden doors shut again. She had stopped screaming but Beth stared at the doors in shock at what had just happened. She backed herself into the chain-link fence that was there as she tried to process the change in events.

Before she knew what was happening she was being pulled through a gate in the fence. Realising now out in the open they were she started to really run. Most of her speed was coming from being dragged by Merle but she still made an effort to move. Eventually they reached the tree line and Merle stopped them both. The two of them took deep breaths as they tried to keep away from the front.

As her mind started to catch up with her Beth looked around one of the tree in the direction they came in. "Is that... A bunker?"

"Of sorts," Merle shrugged.

She took a closer look. There was Woodbury with it's walls and defences around it. Right beside it was the doors they had come out of. They were slanted and built into the ground, much like a bunker or the outside doors of a basement would be like. Around that area were chain-link fences that connected to the barrier around Woodbury.

"So I wasn't really technically in Woodbury?"

"You were beside it," Merle answered. "It's still technically part of Woodbury though."

"Those fences look new."

"It hasn't always been a part of Woodbury," Merle explained as he came over to look with her. He knew they didn't have long but if it meant her cooperating then he was willing to answer some questions. "The Governor knew it was there but it was locked from the outside so we couldn't get in. He figured it was either a public thing or someone owned it, maybe someone in Woodbury. He was fine with calmly looking for the keys then everythin' went down and he decided he needed in right away so we broken through the doors. We had to fix them up a bit but the locks still worked good enough. None of us knew he wanted in there until he decided to go in by force. He made sure to look for the keys by himself."

"What was it used for before?"

"No idea, but we didn't change a thing," Merle shrugged. "There's two rooms. The one you were originally kept in and then the one you were moved to, and then there's the long corridor that connects the two. We all think it was like passing one psycho's layer down to another psycho."

"How did I get from the bunker to the apartment?" Beth questioned as her eyes scanned over Woodbury.

"There's a way through the barriers within the fenced area," Merle pointed it out. Beth eyes scanned the area. If she hadn't known what to look for, she never would have seen it. The chain-link fence wasn't just built around the bunker entrance but also around an entrance to Woodbury. It was just a slight discolouration in the wood panel that gave it away. "We would bring you out of the bunker doors and take you across to that entrance. The apartment is just after it."

Beth opened her mouth to ask more questions but the bunker doors flew open and three of the Governor's men came out with their guns raised. After them came the Governor and then another guy who was supporting Martinez's weight.

"We have to go further in," Merle whispered to her as he grabbed her arm and pulled her further into the trees. "They won't risk three men so they wont come far but we need to move."

As much as she wanted her answers Beth knew he was right. This time he didn't need to pull her along. He took the lead, bladed arm raised in case they ran into any trouble, while his gun rested in his holster. Having no weapon on her Beth tried to stick as close to Merle as possible, especially when she started tp hear twigs snap and leaves crunch behind her. Whether she liked it or not, right now Merle was her only way to survive.

They got further into the trees and eventually stopped when they couldn't hear anyone behind or around them. When Beth looked back she couldn't see any sign of Woodbury but she could tell that they hadn't come too far. The two of them leaned back against a tree and scanned their eyes through the surrounding trees. Merle thought about what their next step should be but Beth just wanted to ask more questions.

"Did my group ever come?" When Merle didn't answer straight away she moved to stand in front of him. "Did they come? Did the Governor hurt them?"

"This ain't an interrogation, little girl," Merle warned her, not wanting to deal with any more questions until they were safely out of the trees and in a more secure location..

"Look, I've had a bad fucking day," Beth growled, finally feeling like she could get some of that pent up emotion out. "In fact I've had a few bad days and I'm not ready to stand here and take your shit. So did my group come for me or not?"

For a moment she thought that he wasn't going to say anything but then he grinned at her. "Alright," he chuckled, nodding his head as a sign of amusement. "Maybe you're not as tedious as I thought you would be. Yeah, your group came."

"What happened to them?" Beth asked quietly, too afraid of the answer.

"They came in all guns blazing," Merle explained as he leaned back against the tree a little more. "Luckily for us it was on one of the days that you weren't doing so well. I think you were somewhat aware of the commotion but you wouldn't have been able to do much."

"I guess I was chained up," Beth sighed. "What did they do? What happened?"

"They attacked Woodbury with full force, expecting you to be there," Merle continued on. "From what I saw and heard they had a plan but not enough people to handle it. We figured Milton helped them out because they checked out any buildings that the Governor had a lot of business in but when they couldn't find you things became a bit scrambled and they had to retreat."

"Surely they would come back," Beth argued. "They never searched the bunker and what about the apartment?"

"There was nothing to suggest you were in the apartment," Merle explained as he pushed away from the tree and wandered around. "As for the bunker, Milton ran away with your group while the Governor was lookin' for a way into the bunker by himself, no one knew about it all at that point. Even if your group saw the bunker when they approached they would have gone for the places they had in their plan first."

"But you had to think they would come back."

"We did," Merle agreed. "That's why we attempted to give them a false lead."

Beth frowned. "What kind of false lead?"

"When they attacked we had some of your bloody clothes in the bunker." He carefully dragged his blade down a tree, carving into the bark softly. "We took 'em and left some scraps of your t-shirt leadin' away from Woodbury. Eventually we used some of your blood and offered some kid extra food for his family if he would wear your boots and walk through the woods. We followed on foot and with a vehicle to make it look like we had sent people to find you."

"No way they would have fallen for that," Beth said in disbelief, shaking her head in an attempt to understand it.

"I didn't think they would either, not now that I know for sure my brother was with 'em, but they did," Merle shrugged as he chuckled at the whole situation. "They never came right away. You were there at least a week, close to two before they attacked. When that failed I think they were feelin' guilty that they never came before so they went with the lead. Plus if I was them I would follow any lead until I could come up with a better plan."

"So they could be planning on coming back?"

"Maybe," Merle shrugged. "They haven't so far but who knows. If my brother is there and he is followin' those trails we made then they're gonna run cold sooner or later, if he's smart he'll realise before hand." Merle sighed, running a hand over his face. "It was never the best solution and that's why the Governor was becomin' more desperate to break you and get what he wanted. If that didn't happen then he was just gnna to kill you and display your body for your whole group to see if they did come back."

Beth couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew going back to her group and getting more answers would be the best thing but hearing all of this from Merle made her realise just how far (and stupidly so) the Governor was willing to go to get what he wanted.

"We need to go back," Beth demanded. "I knew he was crazy but now I'm sure he's a complete psycho. We can't leave Martinez there."

"He can handle himself."

Beth shook her head at him, she knew it was stupid to argue with him but she had to go back. Martinez had done so much for her and she needed to help him. If anything happened to him she would never forgive herself. It was bad enough that he got shot to help cover up his own involvement. There was no way she could leave him and it didn't seem like Merle was going to help her, so when he turned his back she took off running.

It was probably one of her more stupid decisions. She had no weapon to defend herself but she wasn't going to let that stop her. She got pretty far but not far enough before she was grabbed from behind. She struggled as Merle tried to get her to calm down. Beth kicked and scratched in an attempt to make him let go. She almost broke free of his grip when he hit her hard around the back of her head and everything went black.

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><p><strong>IMPORTANT AN:**

_This is set during season 3 however there are **some** changes. So here are those changes :)_

_Michonne and Andrea did go to Woodbury, however, they didn't stay long. When Miconne got her bad feeling Milton confirmed it, having seen too much of the Governor's bad side he wanted out. So Michonne, Milton and Andrea leave Woodbury without ever having met Merle or getting too close to the Governor. When they realise they're being followed by Woodbury men Michonne leads them away (so Andrea and Milton can continue on - they come across the prison) and Michonne ends up circling back to Woodbury where she finds out he truth about everything, kills Penny and stabs the Governor. She catches a glimpse of Merle but doesn't see his hand so when she relays the info to the group there's no way to know if it really was Merle or not. The Governor has attacked the prison at least once between all of this and Beth being kidnapped._

_The attack that the group made on Woodbury in an attempt to save Beth was kind of like when they attacked it to get Daryl and that back but even less organised so it messed up even quicker and gave them less chance to look for her. __Remember, these aren't all the answers to why the group never came . Beth will be getting more answers when she gets back to them._

_Anyway, I hope you enjoyed :)_

_R&R_


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **_thank you all so much for the reviews! :) Meth will be going trough different stages, slowly making their way through different levels of friendship/relationship, but it shouldn't be _too_ slowly so don't worry. As for the group. This story was always going to be about Beth, her capture and how she deals with it. Yes the group will be in it but as of now they're not the main focus but you should be seeing them really soon, I'd say the next chapter (or the one after) :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

Beth blinked as she started to come to. Her head was throbbing and she had a pain around her stomach area. As her eyes struggled to focus on anything properly she realised it was because she bouncing up and down softly. Every time she would start to focus on something her body would bounce, knocking her head and causing her to lose focus again. She reached out with her hands and looked down, or rather, up. As her fingers pulled at something soft and her eyes saw a pair of legs she realised she was over someone's shoulder.

Almost instantly it started to flood back to her. She remembered fighting Merle so she could get back to Martinez and then she was hit from behind. Anger filled her. It wasn't fair that Merle had used his strength against her to get his own way. She was stuck now with a headache and a pain in her stomach from his shoulder digging into it for so long. Whether he liked it or not she was going back for Martinez.

She hit him as hard as she could in the back with her fist. "Put me down!"

Merle cursed as he swung her forward. He managed to catch her before she fell back onto the ground and steadied her before letting going. "What the hell do ya think you're doin'?"

"I should ask you the same thing," she snapped, pointing a finger at him. "Why did you knock me out?"

"Because it would've been suicide goin' back in there."

"Yeah right," she scoffed. "You were just doing it to get your own way."

"If I wanted my own way I would have left ya unconscious in the woods to die!"

"Fine," Beth growled. She stomped her foot on the ground in an almost childish manner. "Screw you then."

Merle blinked in surprise as she turned and stormed off in the general direction they had come from. He was half-tempted to just let her go but he knew his brother would never forgive him and if he was going to be honest there was something about her that just drew him in closer. Merle knew he had a lot of making up to do for what he did to her. He was never one to hurt a woman but his brother was in the mix and like everyone else he could see the Governor going off the rails. It was a case of survival of the fittest more than ever.

"Hey, get back here," Merle sighed as he went after her.

"Leave me alone," she yelled, not bothering to look back.

"You don't even know where ya goin'!"

"As long as it's far away from you I don't care," she muttered under her breath before speaking up. "I'm sure I'll find my way."

"We're almost there," Merle told her as he stopped following.

Curiously Beth stopped also. She turned to face him. "Almost where?"

"At the prison." He made his way over to her and pointed in the opposite direction to where she was trying to go. "Shouldn't take too long. We would've been there earlier but I stopped, found us some place to stay for a couple of hours to rest up." He held up a small bag. "It's got a couple of candy bars and a bottle of water. It was all I could get."

"A couple of hours?" Beth questioned with a frown. "How long have I been out?"

"You were out for a little while before we stopped," he explained. "You started to come around then but you just sort of passed out... Guess you were pretty exhausted."

"Oh, I wonder why that would be."

Merle shook his head at her. "Look, the prison ain't that far away, kid. It would be pointless headin' back to Woodbury now."

"I'm not a kid," Beth told him as she pushed pass him to go in the direction of the prison. If they really were that close then she could let her group know she was okay so that they would stop looking for her, then maybe she could convince a couple of them to go back for Martinez. He would do the same thing for her, she was confident of it.

"I was thinkin' we should look for somewhere to rest up or get more supplies," Merle called after her as he followed her. "You haven't eaten and this water ain't gonna last long."

"Do we need to stop?" she questioned. "I thought you did not long ago, plus I'll be fine for food and water."

"Yeah, you say that now but you were out of it for a while," he reminded her. "Hows that head anyway?"

She didn't reply but she did slow down enough to let him catch up. Although they didn't walk side by side she wasn't trying to put as much space as possible between them. When she asked Merle explained that he left the cover of the trees when he came across some buildings. The only reason he left was because the Walker count was low and he was confident that he could get them both in a least the closest two or three buildings. One of them had been a small corner shop. The access to the space above it had been blocked off and Merle made sure every inch of the place was safe before he put Beth behind the counter to rest on some blankets. It had already been ransacked but he managed to find a bottle of water and a few candy bars. He ate some of them and intended to give her some but when she woke up she just passed out again. He had wanted to stay there but the windows had cracks in them and he didn't have enough ammo to feel safe about the decision so before it got too dark, and while the coast was still pretty clear, he hoisted Beth over his shoulder again and made his way back to the tree line for safety.

Upon hearing the story Beth realised that despite their differences Merle did what he could to protect her. She didn't forget that he was the reason she was unconscious for all of that nor did she forget what happened to her but there was no way she could deny that even if he had other motives, for this journey Merle was willing to protect her. She knew she was going to keep fighting but if her body and mind were going to be as exhausted as she was starting to feel then she needed Merle there, ready and willing to protect her. So she didn't forgive him but she did take a couple of steps back to walk beside him.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Sorry if this chapter is not up to par. It was stubborn but hey Merle and Beth are the only characters in this chapter, so enjoy that ;)

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

They were incredibly close to the prison but both Beth and Merle decided that it would be best if they stopped, took a break and stacked up on supplies. If she hadn't of been so thirsty, hungry and felt so weak then Beth would have argued that they carried on with their journey to the prison. Despite the fact that there would be supplies there she had to admit that there was no way she could make it, no matter how far away it was. So in the end they stopped to make a plan.

Between them they decided to head a little away from the prison, almost back the way they came, to find somewhere. They didn't travel too far before they came across a small cluster of buildings. Although Beth was concious this time they had to be careful due to the fact that she did't have a weapon yet. Although Merle had his blade right now he felt more comfortable having a gun so he could fight or defend long distance. Once they located the building that they wanted to get inside of they worked together to get across to it without attracting unwanted attention or getting into trouble with any walkers that got too close.

The moment they got inside the building they started to barricade the doors and windows as well as making sure that the place was walker free. There were couple in a back room that Merle took care of them swiftly before closing the door on them. Between both Beth and Merle they found some supplies and made an area of the room more comfortable so they could rest up a bit. They never discussed taking turns on keeping guard, but the second Beth sat down she fell straight to sleep.

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><p>When she awoke it was almost the next morning. Merle was sat beside her, knees drawn up slightly as he ate from a box of cereal. Without a word Beth moved to a sitting position. The building they had targeted was a small store. It looked like one of those places you would go to get the last minute bits or the things you always run out of. Despite that, it didn't look like it did very well before the world went to hell.<p>

Merle handed over the box of cereal. She took it and instantly dug in. Although the cereal was stale now she didn't complain. To her it was a treat after the past few weeks she had had. As she dug in Merle checked their fluid supplies before bringing out a couple of children's juice boxes which were a suitable size to fit in lunch boxes. He started to drink from one has he dropped another in Beth's lap. Between eating from the box she also drank from the juice box.

She had almost eaten the entire box of cereal before she placed it down between them. When she finished her juice box she set it down before looking over at Merle. He was sat looking at the windows. They had left a couple of gaps so that they could could look outside and keep an eye on things. Beth couldn't see anything but she knew that Merle was watching for a good reason.

As soon as his eyes dropped away from the windows Beth spoke. "You should rest now."

"I'm rested enough," he told her. "I'll rest properly when we get there and everythin' is sorted."

"I can keep an eye on things."

He glanced her way briefly before reaching down with his hand to search the pack he had put together. Out of it he pulled a gun and a small box. The gun was nothing special, just a small revolver. He handed the pair of them to her. "I'm still good but you might as well take this now.

"Where did you get this?"

"Behind the counter," he said, motioning to its general direction. "Owner must of kept it there just in case. Probably why it's so god damn small."

Beth held the gun in her hand, griping it like she would if she were to fire it. It felt like light enough and it was almost the perfect size for her. "Yeah, probably."

"Don't look so small when you hold it," he admitted.

She didn't respond but she looked at him at the of the corner of her eye. Despite not wanting to rest fully he did put his head back and closed his eyes. His breathing didn't change and his body never loosened up so Beth knew he wasn't sleeping. Still, she looked ahead, kept her gun in hand and the box bullets by her side.

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><p>Hours later, when neither of them were doing more than just sit around, they decided to move on. They did one last sweep of the shop, suited themselves up and then moved to the door to make a plan. They had deliberately left gaps to look out of, which Merle did. Beth kept her gun in hand and stood near by but if she was being honest then she had no real idea of what was going on.<p>

"There's some passin' by on the road," Merle explained as he continued to look. "They're far enough away."

"So what do we do?"

"There's a car parked outside, it's a little to the right." He looked away to glanced at her gun. "You're gonna run to the car and duck behind it. Shoot only if you need to. I'll be coverin' ya."

"Then what do I do?" Her hand tightened subconsciously on the gun.

"Move to the far end of the car and I'll join ya, we'll take it from there." He moved the rest of the barricades from the door and gripped the handle of the left door. He stood far back and motioned for Beth to stand in front of him. When she did, he asked, "ready?"

She gave a small nod and he pulled the door back. With a slight shove from Merle, Beth fell through the door and ran towards the car. She ducked down behind it. Quickly she looked around, making sure she hadn't attracted any attention. She caught a glimpse of the door which was now closed over again. Carefully she shifted towards the other end of the car, trying her hardest to keep low, quiet and all negative thoughts from her mind.

The moment she got to the other end she heard Merle hit the car at the end she had previously been at. Without looking back she knew he was making his way over to her end of the car. He didn't come too close but she could feel his presence, no doubt looking out and making the next part of their plan. The road still continued on a tiny bit with one more car parked on the side they were on, at the end the road went left or right. Straight on was the tree line.

"When I say move to the next car," he instructed. "Stop, check and move like before."

"Can we make a full plan?" she pleaded. "It's making me nervous being out here."

He chuckled quietly. "Fine, when I reach ya wait for me to get into position. When I am run to the end of the buildin', check round the corner and down the left road."

She gulped as she visualised it. "Won't that put me out in the open?"

"For a moment, the second you give me the signal I'll run to you. Look again, if it's clear then cross the road and get passed the trees."

"Right, got it."

Beth wasn't sure she did but she knew that there would be no time to argue. As he got into a position that would allow him to keep an eye on the street, Beth made her own checks. When it was clear she ran to the next car. When she reached the bumper she gave another check before making her way to the other end of the car. As she waited for him to reach her she looked around making all the checks that she needed to.

The moment he was in position and was able to see the street clearly Beth ran for the corner. She leaned against the wall so that she could look down the right and over to the left. There were walkers straggling along but none of them close enough to pay any sort of threat. Still she kept her eyes on them as she signalled to Merle. This time when Merle reached her she was off like a rocket. She kept running until she saw the first few trees passed her.

When she stopped she instantly looked around. There were no walkers to be seen but that didn't mean she was safe. Eventually she saw a tree with a low lying branch. With all the strength she could muster she hoisted herself up onto the branch. She wasn't that far off of the ground but it was far enough to allow her to see better and not feel like something was going to creep up on her.

Not too long after she had gotten onto the branch she saw Merle break through the trees. He did a 360 check. It took a few moments after he had done it for him to look worried. His eyes frantically searched. Beth shifted and was about to call out when his eyes snapped up to her. He let out a sigh of relief, clearly having heard her move.

"What ya doin' up there?" he questioned.

"Can watch my back from here," she said simply.

"Well, I'm here now so get down."

"Excuse me for not feeling any safer," she said sarcastically. "I'm grateful I'm not travelling back alone and you're not that high up on my shit list but I don't forgive you Merle."

"Wouldn't expect ya to," he admitted. "But come down."

"Why are you helping me?"

He thought about it, considering lying to her to keep her sweet but decided to be honest. "You're a way to get my brother back, but honestly, I owe ya."

"I'd say," she snorted before jumping down to the ground.

"I am sorry," he sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. Apologises were never his strong suit. "The second it was over I regretted it. That's why I never touched ya again."

"You didn't have to touch me."

He just nodded his head softly. "Don't let what happened take over ya. What happened to ya can mess with a person's head real bad."

"How much more messed up can I get?"

He chuckled, thinking of himself and even his brother. "You'd be surprised."

"I don't like you," she told him straight up. "But I already despise the Governor enough and Jackson, I don't have the energy to include you in that just yet."

Merle stayed silent. He wore a soft smirk but it was just for show, a cover. He never wanted to get any kind of attachment but now that he had it he hated his involvement in what happened with Beth. If he was being honest, he would definitely be in line to kill the Governor, Jackson and any other sick son of a bitch that Woodbury held. Until then though he knew he would have to make it up to Beth and get in her books. The thought of wanting a girl's forgiveness didn't disgust him half as much as the realisation that he wanted it, not to save his own skin, but for _her_ benefit.

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><p>R&amp;R<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **_Sorry this chapter is so short! I really wanted to end it the way it does and I just couldn't bulk it up anymore. However, I made sure to write the next chapter before posting this so that should be up later :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

From the moment they started walking the rest of their journey was silent and straight forward. A couple of times they came across a few walkers that they couldn't just ignore. On both of these occasions Beth and Merle would communicate enough to strategically put the walkers down without either of them getting hurt. Other than that they didn't say a word to each other. Even when Merle swung the pack off his back so that they could have a drink or a bite of food they didn't exchange words.

Merle _was_ pleased about that fact but it still didn't sit right with him. He was thankful that he wasn't being forced into a conversation with her but at the same time he wanted that conversation. How else was he supposed to win her round? She was his ticket into the prison and he needed her on side for that. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

Before all of this the lack of conversation would have unnerved Beth and really it still should after all those nights and days locked away, but she loved it. If anything she figured that maybe the reason why she was happy for no conversation is because any potential conversation would be with Merle. He may not be as high up on her list as the Governor or Jackson but he was still on it. Not only had he hurt her but he had stopped her from going back for Martinez. If he was dead then Beth knew there was no way she could ever forgive Merle.

She was so happy with the lack of conversation and Merle was so unsure by it that neither of them tried to speak until they came across the prison. They stayed back in the tree line and watched. From what Beth could see the place looked pretty good still, well, the fence that surrounded the place was still standing. There was the usual group of walkers at that one point in the fence. She could see movement beyond them, no doubt a couple of the others doing work but she couldn't get a clear enough view to see who it was.

As she managed to tear her eyes away from the prison, she glanced at Merle. He looked nervous and that made her want to laugh at him, at least until she realised that she couldn't work out _why_ he would be nervous. Surely he knew his brother would welcome him or at the very least give him a chance to talk? So why was he looking so unsure?

"We need a plan," Merle finally told her as he studied the space between them and the prison fences. "There's a lot of walkers out there."

"Always is, they cluster just about..." She pointed out the spot where they were gradually gathering. "_There_."

"There's still the others to look out for," Merle pointed out, motioning to the stragglers. "They all know you, bet some of them don't know me and the ones who do would probably shoot me anyway."

"Are you scared?" she questioned, looking at him with an amused expression.

"No, I'd just rather take the route that keeps me alive."

She was going to respond to him but her eyes caught something else. Beth took a tighter grip on her gun and stepped out of the tree line. She could hear Merle curse behind her but she couldn't stop herself from walking forward. She wasn't crazy. She knew how dangerous it was and despite her slowly dying lack of faith in the world she was still terrified that one of those walkers would catch her scent and kill her. The gun in her hand would get her so far. Plus, a gun was a very dangerous weapon to have when among walkers.

But she had to keep walking because out in the open grounds of the prison near where they were sorting out and testing garden patches, her eyes had spotted someone. They were knelt down awkwardly on the ground, fishing through what looked like broken and dead plants. As she got closer her eyes focused more and she saw for sure it was.

As she reached the fence she placed her free hand on it. Her fingers gripped the wire and she stared out at the scene. The man in the grounds looked behind him towards the prison as people called out his name. At first he looked confused but when he finally caught what they were saying he looked towards the fence, straight at the fence. He looked ill and etched on his face were an array of emotions that Beth couldn't quite decipher.

Neither of them moved for a few moments until Beth let out a quiet, "Hello, Daddy."

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	18. Chapter 18

**IMPORTANT A/N: **_Friendly reminder that this story is AU so some events are taken out entirely or things are mixed up. Also I've decided not to add in Tyreese, Sasha, Ben, Allen and Donna just because they came with a lot of drama however they may make appearances later on, no promises though._

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

Beth watched as her father stared at her in complete and utter shock. He reached for his crutch and awkwardly put all of his weight onto it as he tried to stand up on his leg. Beth kept her eyes on him the whole time. Eventually he got up onto his leg and used the crutch to make his way over to her. It took him a little longer than it would have done with two legs but eventually he reached her. He placed his hand on the fence, exactly where Beth's hand was. A flood of emotions hit her but she did what she could to hold it in.

"Next time ya walk out like that, gimme a bit of warning."

Beth watched as Hershel froze and his eyes darted behind her. "I wasn't expecting to walk out either."

"Well they're openin' the gate," Merle told her. "We gotta get to it."

"There's be someone in the tower," Hershel finally said. "They'll help to cover you. Try and get through the herd quietly."

"I got her old man," Merle promised. "Just make sure them gates are open."

It was clear from the look on his face that Hershel didn't want to leave the fence but he dropped his hand and forced himself to move. Beth waited until his back was turned before she too stepped away from the fence. Her eyes drifted to Merle who motioned for her to follow him. As she fell in line just behind him he kept his blade raised but his gun in the back of his pants. Although she knew a gun was a bad choice she still kept a firm grip on hers.

A couple of them behind the fence got ready to open the gates while others were banging on the fences and making noises to get the walkers out of the way. Slowly Beth and Merle made their way through. A couple here and there would catch their scent but Merle was able to swiftly take them out with his blade without a second thought. Beth managed to take out one of them with the butt of her gun and her foot but for the most part she just tried to stay out of the way.

When they got closer the gates flew open and the two of them ran for it. Both of them dodged as many walkers as they could along the way. As they burst through the gates they were shut again and secured. Before either of them were able to fully get their bearings they were swarmed. Beth was pulled into a bone crushing hug by Maggie as her father tried to check her over.

"I'm fine," Beth tried to reassure as she pulled away from them. She wasn't sure she believed it herself but she didn't want to be smothered like this.

"What's he doing here?" Rick asked as he gestured towards Merle.

"Nice to see you too, Officer Friendly," Merle chuckled.

"What ya doin' here, Merle? Where have ya been?"

"Okay, I understand him not bein' happy to see me, but you too?" Merle questioned as he motioned to Rick.

"I met Merle at Woodbury," Beth spoke up, explaining to the group. "He... He helped me get out." Merle glanced at her, shocked that she skipped right to that part and not their first meeting. "I wouldn't have made it back here if it wasn't for him."

"Why now? Why didn't you help her before?" Maggie questioned angrily as she took a step closer to him.

"It wasn't that easy," Beth intercepted before Merle could. "You weren't the one being kept there. You don't understand. If I could have gotten out earlier I would have. Merle couldn't help me, nobody could. It was too risky. This was our first real opportunity. My first chance of getting help."

As Beth looked around she realised that not only was her father, Maggie, Rick and Daryl there but so was Glenn, Carl and Michonne. Behind them she could see Andrea coming down from the tower and making her way over. Each of them shared a look with each other. Beth could swear she saw a hint of guilt across their faces. There were a lot of things Beth felt but she would always try to push a lot of those feelings down so she could continue to be glad that her family never came for her because she wouldn't wish what happened to her on anybody.

"We did come looking for you, Bethy," her father said softly.

"Don't," Beth said, waving her hand to stop him. "If you feel you need to explain then do it later. For now, I'm tired and sore and I just want to sit down."

Daryl looked from Merle to Rick. Eventually, after a few tense moments, the latter finally said, "both of you, come on inside. We managed to squeeze in a small run recently. We should have enough food and there's a bit of water to wash up with."

As they headed up towards the prison Beth couldn't help but notice how uneasy everyone seemed about Merle coming in. They didn't seem as bad towards him now that Beth had stood up to him but they still didn't seem so sure. Either way they were letting him inside and she knew that wouldn't happen unless they were sure he wouldn't be a threat.

When they entered the prison the first thing Beth saw was Carol. She was holding Judith who was quite content on tangling her fingers in Carol's shirt. Milton was sat on a table nearby. The thing she couldn't help but notice though is that no one else seemed to be around. Where were Axel and Oscar? Beth opened her mouth to ask about it when someone touched her hand.

As she looked down she realised that it was Maggie and she was touching her bandaged hand. With everything that was going on Beth completely forgot about it. Now that she thought about it the pain wasn't exactly gone but she felt almost immune to it. She needed to get it cleaned up and covered again for sure.

"How did this happen?" Maggie questioned, voice strained.

"One of the Governor's men," Beth explained quietly. "Knife, hand, you can guess which one lost."

"Let me take a look at it," Hershel said with a tone that told Beth she couldn't argue. "Let's sit down. Can someone get my kit?"

"I'll get it," Milton said as he vacated the table he was at to allow them to sit.

Beth sat down on one side, her father on the other. As Milton got his bag and placed it on the table Beth placed her hand on the table with her palm facing up. She watched as her father unwrapped her hand and took a look at it. Without even having to be told Carol handed Judith over to Rick before helping pouring a bit of water into a bowl for Hershel. He smiled a thanks to her and used the water to help clean out Beth's hand. Once he was done he looked at his daughter.

"It's starting to get infected," he explained as he took out a pill and handed it to her. "Nothing too bad yet so what I have should be enough to stop it before it gets too aggressive. Take one of these just now and I'll give you another when you're due."

Beth took the pill and the bottle of water Carol had used. After she had taken it she put the water bottle back. "I know what I said outside but why didn't you come for me? I mean, after the first time."

"How much do ya know?" Daryl asked her.

"That you came for me but something went wrong and you had to retreat before you could find me."

"There was more of them than there was of us," Rick explained to her. "We had no choice but to turn around."

"When we were out on our way to Woodbury again we came across a trail that seemed to be yours," Maggie continued on. "After a short while Daryl was sure that the trail was fake."

"We kept followin' it anyway just in case," Daryl told her. "It gave us a chance to think up a plan and make the Governor think that his tricks were working but we didn't have time to finish our plan up before..."

"Before what?"

Beth looked at them all but none of them answered her. They looked around at each other and some of them even looked at Merle. She knew then that something was up.

"What aren't you guys telling me?" she demanded.

"Bethy, let me check you over and make sure you're okay and then why don't you sleep?"

"No! I knew there was a reason you never came to get me again, what was it?"

"Ask him," Glenn mumbled as he motioned to Merle.

Beth twisted round to look at Merle. "Why didn't they come for me?"

Merle looked right at her. "I had no idea, I wasn't involved."

"Just tell me," Beth pleaded. "Somebody."

"We were attacked," Carol finally said, not being able to stand it anymore. "The Governor. He came to us one day. He was angry and frustrated and he shot at us. There's a little damage to the side of the prison but that's not where the real damage is..."

"Oscar was hurt when we tried to get you," Rick told her.

"He was killed in the crossfire," Andrea explained. "Axel was too."

Beth tried to process what she was being told. First they lost Lori and T-Dog and then Carol went missing for ages. They had found some hope when Michonne, Andrea and Milton had come along despite having had run ins with the Governor,but now they had lost two more people. It could have been any time that the Governor had slipped out and decided to attack the prison. Recently he had become more desperate to break Beth so maybe that was when it had happen.

"When did this happen?" She asked them, needing to know.

"A group went to find you within the first week youwere taken," Hershel told her in a calming voice. "Daryl, Rick, Maggie, Glenn Andrea and Oscar. Michonne and Milton were going to go but we all figured Andrea would make the Governor less angry. As you know it didn't go well. Oscar was hurt and there were too many of the Governor's men. With Oscar being hurt we didn't want to go out again without a plan. I'm ashamed to say it took us a week at least to get ourselves together again and really think up a plan with the knowledge we had."

"That's when he attacked?" Beth guessed.

"Yes, he attacked the prison before we could execute our plan, you were gone about two weeks, a little over that point," Rick explained with guilt etched over his face. "I had to think of everyone so it took us a couple of days to get back on our feet. We tried to get closer but there were more guards and even patrols. The last time we tried to get closer was a couple of days ago when we went for a small run but there were a couple of cars heading to Woodbury."

"One of those cars would've been me and some guys, " Merle spoke up. "We went on a run. Ya best bet would've been the day after ya last tried cause he stopped the patrols and put the guard number back to normal."

"Why would he do that?" Milton questioned.

"He was getting ready to attack you guys and use Beth. He wanted a fewer people as possible to see what he was doing. With her he had a better chance to break you all without needin' a huge army."

Beth thought about it. She had no true sense of time anymore but if she was right then the group had planned to come for her again close to a week before Jackson was let loose on her again and she was placed in the room with the noose. That's why the Governor had allowed Jackson to go near her and for her to be moved to a new room. He had attacked the prison and he was desperate to break her so that his next attack would be easier and he would break the prison. That's why everything changed so quickly and things moved so fast. She couldn't blame her group, they havd come for her almost instantly and honestly quite wrecklessly. Despite their failure they had tried again but they were attacked in their own home, who was she to deny them the time to pick themselves back up and rethink their current plan? They had continued to try and Beth was so glad that they had been okay.

She froze. She thought about what she had been told and how she didn't know half of this before, it made her hink... Was that why Martinez finally decided to let her go?

She got up and walked right up to Merle. "When Martinez told me he was helping me to escape he said he was sick of lying. Did he know that the Governor was going to attack the prison or that his plan was coming to an end?"

"Not before it happened, he found out when it was too late and we guessed it was comin' to an end when we got back from our run, just before we escaped.."

Beth took deep breaths as she stepped backwards. She couldn't believe he had lied about that. Taking out her anger she pushed angrily against Merle's chest, ignoring her father's protests about her hand. "How could either of you let me go on believing that there was hope when you knew damn well they could be hurting over here? Or even that they had no way of getting closer to Woodbury or me?"

"Hey!" Merle protested. "He was the one you were shacking up with, he should have told you!"

"What does he mean?" Maggie demanded, voice and body tense.

"_You,_ at the very least, could have told me on our way here," she snapped.

"He never told you because why would he? Knowing Martinez and how soft he seems to be for ya, I'm guessin' he was afraid you'd try to top yourself." Before she could stop herself Beth began to cry. She thought about the room with the noose in the middle and how appealing it had seemed to be. Merle shook his head and she couldn't deny that he seemed sorry. "Look, you're stronger than I thought but ya went through hell in there and I'm guessin' he thought ya needed all the help ya could get."

"So he lied because he cared, huh?"

"Hey, I'm not really sure what was goin' on in his head, but if I had to guess, yeah I'd say that's why."

"Wait, isn't Martinez one of the guys workin' with the Governor?" Daryl questioned. Once after Michonne, Andrea and Milton had left Woodbury Rick, Daryl and Hershel had gone to meet with the Governor. Martinez and a couple of guys had been with him as back-up.

"Yeah," Beth agreed. "He was helping me. And I know later on you're all going to discuss this, but Merle stays." As they all looked at her and a couple of them began to protest. She was angry and a little hurt but Merle had helped her get here and a lot of what he was saying wàs true. "I get the feeling you're all going to interrogate me and ask about what happened. I'm sorry about what happened to you guys. You need to know that I'll be fine and knowing what happened to me while I was there won't help you. Just know the Governor wants this place. Merle helped me and he's staying."

Hershel shared a look with Rick. When the latter nodded, the former stood to back-up his daughter. "Bethy is right. We owe Merle so let him stay. In fact, the two of you should go and lie down. Everything that needs sorting out or discussing can be done in the morning. No arguments from anyone, let's go."

Beth didn't argue at all. She glanced at Merle before heading to her former cell so that she could collapse onto the bunk and pretend that everything was absolutely fine, at least for a few hours.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Beth stared up at the ceiling. Earlier she had grabbed some clothes from her cell before being taken down to the showers. Before she had been taken by the Governor they had come up with a system that made washing a little easier. It wasn't exactly a fully working shower but the moment Beth began to wash she felt a million times better. After she was dried and dressed, she had come back to lay down in her cell. She had been intent on sleeping but all she could do was hang half off the bed and peer up at the ceiling.

Merle had been offered a temporary bed/cell but never took it. He too washed up but when Beth was done with getting clean Merle was already back in the cell block. He was sat on one of the chairs with his feet propped up on the table. They had shared a brief look before Beth slipped into her cell. She hadn't wanted to deal with answering questions or talking to Merle. All Beth had wanted to do was lay back and pretend like the last few weeks hadn't happened.

"Bethy?"

Peace shattered.

"Yes, daddy?"

"We're not asking you to talk just yet," he said softly as he leaned against the bars to help keep his balance a bit better. "But you should let me or someone else check you over."

"I'm fine," she tried to tell him. "The worst was my hand."

Her father didn't have to say anything to get her to fold a little. It was just the look he gave her. There was a mix of guilt and concern there. She knew that she would never get rid of that look until he was satisfied that she was okay.

She rolled off of the bed and stood. Her actions were a lot slower now that she had rested. Her body ached but she tried not to show it. "It'll just make you feel worse," she told him.

"Physically I need to make sure you're okay" he explained to her, hoping to coax her further out of the cell. "You can talk when you're ready, Bethy, no one will force you to say anything."

"Privately, just you," Beth said sternly. "Carol if you need help but nobody else."

Hershel nodded his head as he balanced back onto his crutch. "Of course, I'll get Carol to put some sheets up in here for privacy. It won't be the best lighting so it'll be a quick check over."

All Beth did was nod. She sat back down on the bed but didn't lay back. In the her mind she tried to think up every scenario. She barely looked at her body now but she knew that she still had bruises and scratches and God only knows what else. She could feel it. Her body ached in so many different ways that she knew this wouldn't be an easy, quick check-up, no matter how much her daddy tried to reassure her.

"Thank you for this, Bethy," Hershel said softly just as he was walking away from her cell.

As he walked away Beth's body began to shake. She tried not to cry. Her mind was worried and her skin was crawling just thinking about what had happened to her and the looks she would no doubt get from those she loved because of it.

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><p>Almost an hour later Beth was laid back on her bed again. Carol had put sheets up to block the view of the cell. There was a gap near the open part to let the light in but no one came anywhere near it. As well as that Carol also set up a chair and small table for Hershel. When the two of them entered Carol sat on the bed by Beth's seat while Hershel sat on the chair and placed the things he needed on the table.<p>

"I noticed your wrists when I was cleaning out your hand," Hershel half commented, half hinted.

Beth was thankful that he cut right to the chase. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it if he had eased his way into conversation and started off soft.

"I guess you should probably bandage my hand up properly," Beth commented as she held up her hand. Earlier she had become so sucked into their conversations that she never even thought to get her hand re-bandaged.

Hershel gave her a soft smile as he nodded. The first thing he did was wash her hand with a damp cloth before spraying some antiseptic on it. Beth gritted her teeth against the sting but made no sound or attempt to pull her hand away. As the spray soaked into the wound Hershel laid small patches on either side as he wrapped a bandage around her hand. From what she saw of the wound it wasn't terrible. The skin was a little raw around the wound but there was still hints that it was trying to heal.

After the hand was bandaged Beth forced herself to keep her hand up. Hershel's focus moved to her wrists. There were marks from where the handcuffs had been and dug into her skin. As he reached for her other wrist it was clear that one wrist looked worse than the other. He never said a word as he cleaned her wrists and applied bandages to them also.

"Carol can go on from here," Hershel told Beth softly.

"What do you think happened to me?" she asked them as she sat up a little.

"We don't know," Carol told her honestly. "We can imagine but we don't want to assume."

"He's a horrible man and he knows other people who are just as horrible as he is," Beth told them as she got up off of the bed. "I promise you that being told or seeing what happened will not make you feel any better. I've survived this long, I'm fine."

"You're safe now," Carol said in an attempt to keep Beth calm. "You can relax. It's okay to want some help."

"I never asked for help, I haven't asked you guys for anything except an explanation," Beth argued, the worrying creeping up on her and making her anxious. "I know you want your own explanation but trust me when I say you're better off without it. All you need to know is that whatever you need to do to that man to stop him coming after you, do it. He deserves it."

"You look exhausted," Hershel noted. "And from the way you're holding yourself and moving about I'd say you're in some kind of pain."

"Daddy, I promise that there's nothing to be fixed. I don't want to take any of your medicine, it's not that important and anything serious has already started to heal or has been dealt with." She held her hands up as an example.

Hershel sighed. All three of them knew there was no way he could force her into being checked out. "Fine, if you promise," he agreed. "But if I see any signs that you're getting worse or not coping then I'll need to do something."

"I know," she mumbled as she made her way out of the cell.

When she stepped into the cell block she saw everyone looking back at her. From the looks on their faces it hit her just how loud she must have been talking. Milton, Rick, Glenn and Carl were trying to look like they hadn't heard anything and even if they did, it wasn't a big deal. Andrea and Michonne looked worried but shared a hint of the angry expression that Maggie wore. Besides Judith, Merle was the only one who wasn't looking at her like she was anything but normal.

"Are you hungry?" she asked Merle, ignoring the others.

"Starvin'," he shrugged casually as he stood up. "Why? Where ya thinkin' on takin' me?"

She moved over to his pack and slung it onto her back before heading towards where she knew they kept the food. "I have a spot in mind."

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **_Just a couple of notes and reminders. This is not the end of Beth's struggle, nowhere near. There will still be chapters with warnings in the future and life isn't going to be all easy for her. It will get better and Merle will be a big factor when it comes to that (as well as other characters). The group may not find out the full extent of what happened to her for a while but that's only because I wanted her to open up to a couple of people and I've chosen one of those people to be Merle (remember she's already sort of opened up to Martinez). Anyway, thank you so much for all of your reviews, they're all wonderful and I'm glad you guys are enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it._

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

After swiping some food and drink Beth had walked out of the cell block. She ignored the protests from the others, especially the angry ones from her sister. She knew that Maggie wasn't really angry, she was just upset and trying to look out for her. If it were the other way around Beth would be upset too but she also knew that Maggie would keep quiet just like Beth was doing now.

Merle had followed her out of the cell block. He had followed her out to the grounds where she led them to the small patch of grass where she had spotted her father earlier. It seemed like an odd spot but he never made a comment. He just sat down when she did and accepted the food and drink that she passed his way.

"So why this spot?" he finally asked after a while of nothing but silence.

"You know, when we realised that this might be a good option for us it was decided that we should do what we could to help ourselves survive." She pointed to the areas where Hershel had been working when they came across the prison. "They must have gotten damaged while I was gone but my father decided that we should use the land we have to grow things."

Merle wasn't sure that was an answer or any sort of explanation but he decided to take a bite anyway. "I'm assumin' it didn't work?"

"Well we were trying to test the ground," she explained. "Daddy told us what to corner off and we did. He then talked us through prepping the ground and planting the seeds. Maggie and I sort of knew anyway with being on the farm but it was nice to be taught something useful after all this time."

"So, ya think it got wrecked during the attack?" he questioned.

"Maybe," she shrugged.

"You think somethin' would've grown?"

"I hope so," she mumbled. "Maybe something still will. They look broken from here but something could still be thriving underneath. waiting."

Merle didn't comment. He just looked at her, his food forgotten. Something had snapped in Beth at some point. He wasn't sure whether it had been before they got back to the prison or after. She simply looked like she was fed up, like she couldn't be bothered with anything any more. All life seemed to be drained and it was like she was simply on auto-pilot.

"I know for damn sure I ain't gonna change ya mind, but it doesn't sound like a terrible idea to talk to one of them in there."

"How do you think they're going to feel when they see what I look like under all of this?" she questioned as she tugged at her t-shirt.

"They're gonna think you went through something terrible," he guessed. "They're gonna be pissed and they're probably gonna act irrationally for a while."

"Exactly, they'll do something stupid," she agreed. "If they're going to go after him anyway then why do I need to add fuel to an already burning fire?"

"Because it makes sure the job gets done."

"They won't let me go with them to Woodbury if they know the extent of everything."

Merle stared at her in shock. "You want to go back?"

"I need to," she told him sadly. "I need to get Martinez."

"Caesar can take care of himself," Merle argued, struggling to keep a lid on his anger. "Goin' back there is suicide."

"I owe it to him, he did so much for me while I was there and I owe it to him to go back there and make sure he's safe," Beth argued as she dropped her food back into the bag. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

"Because if I hadn't of been such a stubborn dick then I would've seen that you gettin' out of there was much better than me doin' my job and keepin' my own ass safe."

"You don't need me anymore," she reminded him. "You're in here. You're closer to Daryl than you have been in God only knows how long. You don't need to pretend like you care anymore."

"It's a bit late for that," he muttered under his breath.

It was just loud enough for her to hear and she glanced his way. Neither of them said a word, just stared at each other. Beth wasn't sure what to say and Merle wasn't entirely sure he should ever open his mouth again. They were both two very different people who in reality should not get on at all. They should despise each other. But yet here they were.

Beth had chosen to sit out here with Merle because he had been the only one to look at her like nothing bad was going on. He didn't pretend like he hadn't heard her talking but he also didn't pretend like it didn't happen nor did he make any sort of fuss. It made her wonder why he had come out here. To keep up appearance of looking out for her in front of his brother? Or maybe because he did care. He was here, listening to her talk after all.

"Is it messed up that I feel comfortable just sitting here with you?"

"Probably," he laughed before turning serious again. "But what I did, that was a one time thing. I mean it. I ain't ever gonna hurt ya again. You can bet on that."

"And why should I believe you?"

"If I promise to go with your group to Woodbury instead of you and I promise to bring back Martinez, will you believe me then?"

"It would be a start," she mused. "It would definitely make us even."

"Ya need to know that I'm not doin' this to get off ya shit list and make my life easier," he told her, refusing to look at her now. "Anger can tear a person up inside and I'd hate to be the cause of ya losin' yourself."

"You never cared about me before now," she noted. "What's changed?"

"I don't know what you mean," he coughed, posture changing as he began to pretend like their current conversation had never happened. "Just promise ya ain't gonna go runnin' back to Woodbury?"

"I promise." There was a brief pause before she looked at him. "Thanks."

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

A door creaked open nearby, letting in a slither of light. Beth watched as bits of dust floated into the light before soon disappearing again into the darkness. She wiggled her fingers curiously in the light, rotating her hand every so often. It warmed her hand and felt so real that it made it impossible for Beth to figure out what was going on and where the hell she was. She stumbled to her feet, taking a brief moment to gain some balance before heading in the direction of the light.

The door was slightly ajar and when Beth opened it further more light flooded in. It shone over her feet and up to her knees but went no further. A glance behind her confirmed that light stretched towards the back wall but didn't fill the room. The room she was in was blank and horrible, instantly filling Beth's mind with the worst possible conclusion of what could be going on. Had the Governor attacked in the middle of the night? Had she been taken? All of these options and more flooded her mind as she stepped out into a corridor.

The corridor itself stretched to the left and the right but due to the darkness Beth couldn't see too far in either direction. Across from the door she had come of stood a window. It was small and near the top of the wall. There was no realistic way that could be the source but it definitely seemed to be where the light was coming from. Beth peered around, hoping the light would show her what was at either end of the corridor but it didn't.

In the end she just went right. There was no logical explanation behind the decision, she just looked right and started to walk. With every step she took the darkness still hung around her. She was even having trouble seeing her hand when she held it up right in front of her. The darkness scared her even more with every step she took but still she carried on

Eventually, after walking for ages through the darkness, Beth came across some more light. It was just a slither again and it was coming from a room where the door was cracked open slightly. Carefully she made her way over to the door and placed her hand on it. Taking a deep breath she pushed it open.

Beyond the door was another room much like the one she had come from. It was dark around the edges with the source of the light coming from the middle of the room. As well as the light, in the middle of the room there was a chair, like the ones you get at the dentist. Beside it was the metal table where the instruments were kept. But neither of those things made Beth's breathing stop and her heart rate accelerate. No, it was the man standing beside the chair with his back to her. She could tell in a heartbeat who it was. The strap from his eye patch would have been more than enough confirmation.

Before she could stop herself a scream bubbled up and erupted from her chest. The thought of being back in his clutches had frightened her but actually seeing it was so much more. The confirmation was eating her up inside. She couldn't go through it again. Turning around she was faced with complete darkness. As she tried to get away from the room she couldn't move. It didn't matter if she walked or ran, whenever she looked over her shoulder she saw the Governor, his back still to her. Beth clawed at the darkness and tried to fight her way through. She screamed as loud as she could, hoping that someone would hear her and come to help.

_"Beth!"_

Her name being called was so loud and filled with such an array of emotions that Beth had to snap her eyes shut. She suddenly felt someone touching her and it was like the walls were closing in. She kicked and screamed and fought some more, but this time she actually felt herself hitting something. Voices were filling her head but none of them were of the Governor.

When she opened her eyes again everything changed.

Beth took deep breaths as she looked around at her cell. Carol was stood to the side holding Judith close to her chest. Rick was half sitting, half kneeling on the bed as his hands gripped her shoulders. The others were in or around the entrance to her cell. Relief washed over her as she realised that it had all been a nightmare but guilt soon replaced it when she saw the red marks and scratches all over Rick.

"What happened?" Beth asked quietly as her eyes flicked from person to person.

"Carol heard you screaming and thrashing about," Rick explained to her as he finally let go and sat back. "She called for us and I got here first. I realised you were having a nightmare so I tried to hold you down to stop you from hurting yourself."

"We all tried to wake you by calling your name and just talking to you," Carol added.

"I heard my name and some faint chatter," she admitted. "I couldn't recognise the voices, I'm so sorry."

Rick shook his head at her, a soft smile playing at his lips. "Trust me, I get it. There's no need for you to be sorry."

"Doesn't look that way," she mumbled as she motioned to the redness near his eye which could possibly bruise over time and the scratches on his arms.

"Seems I'm the lucky one out of the two of us."

She looked down as he motioned to her. There were the bandages on her wrists and hand but also some bruises and such were visible. Beth tugged at her clothing to cover as much of it as possible.

"What was it about?" Maggie asked softly. "Your nightmare I mean."

"Oh, it was nothing," Beth lied. "It was stupid."

Maggie opened her mouth to say something else but Hershel placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head no. Everyone fell silent and Beth began to wish that the ground would swallow her up. The silence was deafening and the looks on everyone's faces were much worse. She hadn't exactly lied. The dream _was_ nothing. Sure she had been recaptured in it but nothing had really happened to her. What was there to talk about? All they would do is reassure her that she would never be taken again, but in this world that's something you can't promise.

The silence stretched on for a while before Rick cleared his throat and got up from the bed. Everyone seemed to snap out of it then. They all filed out of the cell and disappeared one by one. Beth looked down at her lap as they left, not wanting to meet anybody's eye. From the light coming into the cell she could tell it was the morning time, but only just. Judith had always had the habit of getting up as early as possible, which meant Carol was awake too so she could prepare for the morning feed.

It made Beth feel a little better to think that she hadn't properly disturbed anybody's sleep. If she couldn't get a good nights sleep at least everyone else could. Slowly she rolled out of bed and went over to where she kept her clothes. She pulled out a black vest, a light pink sweater and the same plain blue jeans she had worn yesterday as well as some underwear. Once everything was gathered into her arms she moved over to stand between the end of the bed and where the sheet hung in order to get changed.

As soon as she was changed she wandered around her cell as she scraped her hair back into a ponytail, attempted to wash her face a little and slipped on her boots. Taking a breath Beth mentally prepared herself before stepping out of her cell.

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><p>Several hours passed and Beth did everything she could to avoid everyone as much as possible. At breakfast she made small talk and did what she could to make sure the topic stayed off of her nightmare and capture. After eating she had got stuck in on washing everything up and then checking their inventory so that lists could be made for the next run.<p>

It kept her so busy that she barely talked to a single person until dinner came around. She practically inhaled her food before leaving the cell block with the excuse that she was going to watch the fence. Andrea and Michonne were up in the tower and Daryl had gone out after his dinner to walk the fence and check everything was in order, so she knew she would be okay.

She walked around for almost an hour before she came face to face with anyone. From around the side of the prison came Merle. He looked a little on edge and agitated. Just those few steps away from the prison seemed to create some ease for him. Beth could relate. Despite the close living all this time, you did get a lot of privacy but sometimes it wasn't enough. No one meant to but sometimes the group could be a little overbearing.

"Feel better?" she asked him when he was close enough to hear.

"I'm used to takin' orders, but I never thought they'd be from him again."

She knew he meant Rick. Since the prison and Lori he hadn't been the only one to give out orders but he was the most likely one to. With their history Beth wasn't surprised that Merle didn't like taking orders from him.

"You could leave," she commented.

"Daryl never would."

"I'd leave if I could," she decided. "Or if I wasn't so afraid."

"If you was really that afraid then you'd be tellin' all of them everythin' that happened in Woodbury."

He had a point. If what had happened, or the idea of it happening again, really scared her that much then she would tell the group everything in the hopes that it would some how help them to protect her.

"I can't stop thinking about it."

"Which part?" he asked, voice distant and a little unsure. Well, as unsure as it could be for Merle.

"Jackson mostly," she said vaguely. "The idea of the Governor being even more ruthless in his attempt to get this place and destroy us now."

"Sorry I let him hurt ya."

Beth didn't know if he meant the Governor or Jackson but either way that wasn't the part she was really focused on. "Sorry that _you_ let him...?"

"Well, the Governor thought a lot of me," he shrugged. "Could've at least stopped him from lettin' Jackson loose on ya."

"Nobody could have stopped that."

Merle didn't say a word. He just stretched his arms out in front of him as he arched his back. His whole demeanour changed and became much more relaxed as his body cracked and popped in various places. Beth tugged at the end of her ponytail as it hung over her shoulder. Never in a million years would she have believed that after the events of Woodbury she would find peace in standing with Merle or just simply talking to him, but she did and she wasn't sure she could, or even wanted, to complain.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: **_a huge thank you to _sweetkiwi604 _who helped me figure out where to go with this chapter. I have plans for this story but sometimes I come across these empty spots that are hard to fill or connect to what's already been written/planned, I'm still not too sure about the ending of this chapter but either way, I hope you all enjoy._

**WARNING:** _Beth may come across as a teeny bit of a bitch but hey, considering what she's been through I'm not going to give her a hard time 'cause of it. Also, there may be (no, I'm pretty sure there is) some swearing.  
><em>

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

They were stood there side by side for a long time after they stopped talking. Merle had his hand dug deep into his pocket while Beth tugged and picked at the hem of her shirt. Their conversation had run dry almost instantly but it wasn't left with an uncomfortable silence. In fact the pair of them were happy enough to just stand there looking out towards the fence and the walkers pushing against it. Neither of them tried to make any sort of conversation work.

It was almost pitch black outside before any foreign noise interrupted them. At the new sound Beth looked over her shoulder but Merle kept on looking forward. His lack of concern helped to keep Beth calm. If they were in any danger then there would be a tell-tale sign given from Merle, but there was none whatsoever so Beth let her eyes adjust to the lack of light.

From the darkness came Maggie and Hershel. The sounds they had heard were from his crutch hitting the ground with every step. Beth let out a sigh as she looked forward. Although she had been outside in complete silence for hours, it didn't feel like enough. She didn't want that peace to be shattered just yet but it didn't seem like either her sister or her father had come out for a leisurely stroll.

"Bethy, are you coming inside?" Hershel called softly as they stopped a little away.

"Not just yet," she said quietly as she continued to watch the fence.

"You can't stay out here all night," Maggie argued, her voice filled with concern. "Come inside, talk to us."

Beth swung around to face them, frustration coursing through her. "I don't want to talk."

"Why not? We used to tell each other everything."

She chuckled loudly and almost mechanically at her sister's words. "Exactly, we _used_ to."

"Why are you being like this?" Maggie asked softly. "We only want to help."

"Well _stop_ because I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Fine, you don't want to talk," Hershel agreed, cutting into his daughters' conversation. "At least come inside, we can get your something warm to eat or drink. It'll give me a chance to change your bandages and such."

"My bandages are fine," Beth assured, waving them on. "I don't need anything right now. You know I would ask you guys if I need something, but I don't."

Maggie had stepped closer to Beth now. As her sister got closer, Beth looked briefly over her shoulder at Merle. He had stepped away slightly but was still in close proximity. When he didn't turn around to face them Beth looked back. Maggie was stood next to her now, looking her over. It couldn't be helped really. Although a lot of the obvious damage was hidden it was still apparent from even a glimpse that Beth had been through hell.

Although the staring made her uncomfortable, it wasn't what made her snap. Once Maggie had done looking sorry for her, she placed a hand on Beth's shoulder. It was a comforting gesture and Beth tried to see it like that, but when Maggie pushed Beth's hair out of her eyes and then pulled her in for a hug, something went off inside of her.

"Maggie, I'm fine," Beth muttered, pushing her sister away as softly as she could. "Stop fussing, okay? And stop looking at me like I'm some... some... _fucking _broken lost cause that needs your help in order to be fixed."

The sound of her father scolding her went right over her head as she pushed passed the pair of them. Before recently having her sister stroke her hair and give her plenty of hugs would have been enough but now it just made Beth feel damn right uncomfortable. Never had they been through something like this. Beth holding a weight on her shoulders while Maggie and everyone else had no idea what her struggle really was. All of that meant that Beth didn't know what to feel and that every comforting move that Maggie (or anyone else) made was accompanied by a sad look of sympathy.

It was suffocating Beth and although she couldn't blame her group for caring, pushing them away was all that made it better. As Beth made her way back through the prison and into her cell she felt nothing but guilt flood through her. She tried to keep her emotions in check as she collapsed onto the bed but she was struggling. No one would expect her to keep her emotions in check if they knew what had happened, but they didn't and it only made her more emotional to think that the two people she could possibly open up to were involved in the very reason why she was so messed up in the first place.

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><p>When Beth fell to sleep she was prepared for the nightmare this time, but it didn't make any difference. Despite coming to in the same room and walking down the exact same corridor it didn't make Beth feel any better or help her to wake up. As she reached the door at the end of the corridor her heart was pounding and a voice deep inside of her was screaming out for her to wake up.<p>

Beth held her breath as she opened the door, preparing herself to relive the fear and embarrassment of waking up screaming and kicking. However, even though she did scream at the sight before her just like in the previous dream, this time she wasn't woken up. Instead this time the Governor turned to look right at her and Beth's heart almost stopped completely.

He fiddled with some kind of sharp instrument in his hand as he grinned at her. They both stared at each other. Beth felt herself shrinking back into the darkness behind her but it refused to let her go. The glint in his eyes was more than enough to tell her that he had plans for her. She could just imagine what he would do with the instruments beside him on the table and with the one in his hand.

As the Governor's grin grew bigger and he began to walk towards her, Beth vision finally began to go blurry. As she could feel herself being sucked out of her nightmare she continued to take pointless steps backwards. The invisible force behind her was pushing her forward and stopping her from getting her deeply needed escape.

_"Come on, it's okay, it's okay."_

In a blink of an eye those words changed the whole setting. As Beth opened her eyes and focused on the real world around her she realised this dream really was different. Instead of struggling in her bed with Rick trying to hold her down, she was now pressed against the wall, her body curled in on itself. Maggie was on the bed beside her clearly having tried to coax her away and calm her down.

As Maggie brought her hands up to touch Beth again the latter flinched involuntarily causing Maggie to instantly drop her hands. A silence spread around the room and it was the first time that Beth noticed how empty it was. Maggie and Hershel were the only two actually inside the cell. Carol was outside of it with Rick and even Merle.

"Bethy," Maggie said softly as she slowly placed a hand on Beth's knee. "It's okay, you're safe."

"I want to be alone," Beth mumbled, becoming painfully aware that her entire body was dripping with sweat. "I want to clean up and just be on my own for a moment."

She noted that Rick and Carol were already turning around to leave as Maggie asked, "do you need any help?"

Beth pushed down the urge to yell at them to leave and shook her head at her sister. "No, I don't need any help."

Slowly Maggie got off of the bunk and helped Hershel to stand up. As they moved towards the cell Beth straightened her body out and finally moved away from the wall. She didn't step off of the bed until Maggie and Hershel had moved out of the cell. As soon as her feet touched the cold floor Beth felt some relief. She gripped her shirt and shook it, trying to stop it from sticking to her body, as she walked over to her clothes.

"A shower might be ya best bet."

Beth snapped her head towards the entrance to her cell. Although everyone had left Merle must have stayed. He was leaning in the open part, watching her. "What are you doing?"

"Are you alright?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Yeah, it was just a nightmare," she said, shrugging it off.

"A shower will help, make ya feel more normal."

"It isn't much of a shower anyway so I'm just going to change and lie down for a bit, maybe I'll go for one later."

"Ya won't be able to sleep," he commented.

She didn't question how he knew that but she elected to ignore it. In her current state she needed to relax and worrying about how hard it would be to sleep wouldn't help the situation. "Still, I'd like to be able to change... In private."

He grinned at the little add on and reached out to grab the sheet that had been pushed aside. "I'll still be awake if ya decide to come out."

Without another word he slipped out of the cell, tugging the sheet across to give her more privacy. As the cell was denied the little light it usually got, Beth tugged out some fresher clothes and changed into them. The second she was in them she felt a million times better. Some kind of shower really would be her best option but at that moment in time Beth lacked the capability to care about what was right. That was also probably the very reason why she chose to sit outside with Merle instead.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: _It was my last day of work today which I'm so excited about. The people and the pay was good but the job was boring so I'm glad it was only temporary. Anyway it means I have a little more time and hopefully more energy/effort to update now. If I ever do slow down on the updates please know that I am writing or planning for the story so it is always being worked on even if it's not being posted. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy._

**P.S. There's some swearing as per usual.**_  
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><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

"So, how are you finding life in the prison?" Beth asked.

She was sat up on one of the tables with her feet resting on the seat in front of her, while Merle was sat a couple of seats away with his legs stretched out in front of him.

"It's definitely different," Merle snorted. "I'm gettin' the feelin' not many people like me around here."

"I care about everyone here, but you've got your brother back and that's all that should really matter."

"Yeah, but I'm gettin' the idea that my brother won't leave without you lot."

Beth's stomach dropped at his words but she tried not to let it show. "Why? Are you leaving?"

He took a moment to look her over. "Nah, not any time soon but I'm not sure this place won't last for me."

"Whatever issue they have with you, they'll get over it." She wasn't too sure she believed it but she had to say something to stop him from leaving.

Merle just chuckled at her comment but said nothing more about the subject. "You know I figured that I'd be the last person you'd wanna talk to."

"You're the only one who doesn't ask me questions or look at me like I'm some walking disaster."

"You _are_ some walkin' disaster but I ain't exactly a good example," Merle shrugged.

"You don't seem like the kind of person to care," Beth commented. "So how come you're being careful around me and not just doing or saying what you want despite the consequences? Because let's face it you're the kind of person to say and do as they please."

"I can keep my mouth shut when I need to."

"Well thank you. It's things like that that make me want to talk to you." Beth said after a moment. "Quite a lot of our current group were with you back in the beginning weren't they? Before they came to us on the farm I mean."

"Uh huh, probably why they don't like me so much, I was more of an asshole back then than I am now," Merle nodded. "The little one, your sister, your father, Michonne and Milton were the only ones who weren't there out of this group, but Milton knows me from Woodbury."

"Yeah, I've heard stories about you," she said but went no further on the matter. "I wouldn't think you were the same person... Now anyway."

"So does that mean I'm off the hook?" he asked with a slight smirk.

She wanted so much to say yes but her stomach twisted slightly and she knew she was still unsure. "As much as I can let you off right now."

He dropped the smirk instantly and nodded his head. "That's more than I should expect right now I guess. It's gettin' about time for everyone to get up, you should wash up before it gets too busy."

Beth nodded her head and slipped off of the table. Neither of them said anything but shared a brief look before she slipped into her cell to grab some clothes and get ready to wash up and start her day without trying to worry over her most recent nightmare.

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><p>After her shower Beth had helped out in the 'kitchen' area. She put away everything that was out and left outsorted the bits they needed for the day. When that was done she tried to clean up the rest of the cell block as best as she could while collecting anything that needed seriously washed. While Judith played on a matt she and Carol washed the clothes and took them outside to hang up on the washing line.

Half way through hanging the clothes up Carol had to slip away to deal with Judith. Beth didn't complain about it though. They had been talking about nothing in particular but like usual Beth was just happy for that bit of alone time. She started to realise that she loved having people to interact with because for so long the only safe interactions she had was with Martinez, now she had so many people around her who wanted to keep her safe. She also began to realise that she loved it even more when she got breaks, those rare moments where she could be by herself because being alone also made her feel surprisingly safe.

So while she was alone her mind and eyes began to wander, putting up the last couple of things she spotted the graves. Setting the clothes basket and everything down, she wandered over to where they were. There was a bit of shade so she plopped herself down in front of the four of them. Lori and T-Dog were side by side and there was spoiled ground from where they had dug one for Carol back when they believed her to be dead. Beside that laid Axel and Oscar.

Lori and T-Dog she had gotten to know on the farm but more so in the many months they spent on the road before coming to the prison. Axel and Oscar she hadn't known for very long but she knew that neither of them deserved to die. None of them did. Her family back on the farm certainly didn't deserve to die and neither did almost all of the people she had met since the world changed.

Her thoughts were getting away from her and she could feel her emotions starting to rise up when she heard footsteps behind her. Looking over her shoulder she saw Carol approaching with Judith on her hip and Daryl trailing behind them with some of Judith's stuff in his arms.

"We're going to set up a little over there," Carol said pointing to a spot a few paces away. It was a little closer to the prison but still out in the open. "You want to join us?"

Giving one last glance at the graves, Beth offered up a silent prayer before getting to her feet. "Yeah, that sounds great," she said to Carol, offering a smile.

When they got to the spot Beth took the two blankets from Daryl and laid both of them out. Carol set Judith down on one of them while Beth and Daryl sorted out the bits in his hands. They set the toys down on the blanket with Judith but kept the plate of her broken up biscuit and bottle of juice on their blanket.

Daryl and Beth sat down on the second blanket while Carol sat half and half on each so she could keep an eye on Judith. It didn't go unnoticed that Daryl looked a little uncomfortable especially when he brought his knees up slightly to lean on them as he looked out towards the fence but neither Carol nor Beth said anything about it. Unfortunately for Beth though she became the choice of topic instead.

"Try not to worry too much about the nightmares," Carol told her gently. "I know it's hard, that it's not as easy as it sounds but I promise you that they're normal. So don't worry, especially about what we all might think."

"You sound like you know."

"I do," Carol half shrugged. "I understand that when you go through horrible things you don't want to talk about it."

"She ain't wrong," Daryl chimed in, looking back at them briefly. "Sometimes ya just want to cut yourself off, we get it."

"Everyone keeps telling me I should talk to someone," Beth sighed as she handed over the plate of biscuits so Carol could give them to Judith.

"And you should," Carol agreed.

"But talk to whoever ya like," Daryl added. "If ya don't want to talk to your sister or daddy then don't. Talk to whoever feels right and not with the people ya think ya _have_ to talk to."

"I know Hershel and Maggie want to know what happened," Carol commented. "But Daryl's right. As long as you talk to _someone_ it doesn't matter who it is."

Hearing that someone wanted her to talk but was still on her side was refreshing. "I am talking to someone," Beth told them. "Sort of. We don't always talk about what happened but trust me when I say it helps talking to them."

"That's all I need to know," Carol shrugged as she gave Judith her bottle. "It's scary for everyone with everything that's going on. It might take a while but things will die down and I promise that things will start to get better."

"It just might be a long process," Daryl agreed. "Ya strong though, you'll be fine."

Beth nodded her head and gave a smile of thanks. Suddenly she felt a lot better than she had that morning. Rolling around to lay on her stomach Beth grabbed one of the toys and began to play with Judith, making the little girl giggle and excitedly wave her hands. For the first time in a while Beth felt genuinely happy. She knew it might not last but she pushed that thought down and tried to at least keep her new found good mood for at least a couple of hours.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	24. Chapter 24

**WARNING: **Pain, blood, violence, torture and all of that.  
><strong>WARNING: <strong>Pain, blood, violence, torture and all of that.

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

The conversation with Daryl and Carol had helped Beth in more ways than she could be thankful for. It set her mind to ease knowing that someone had some kind of idea of what she was going through without her having to spill every little detail. That mixed in with Judith's innocence gave her a few hours of happiness that she desperately needed.

But all good things must come to an end. At least that seemed to be the recurring notion in Beth's life. Even if she did have more pure happy moments like the one she had playing with Judith, they would be scarce and it would be a slow burning process to get her back to normal. That meant there were plenty of times for questions, awkward moments and most unfortunately, nightmares.

They were likely to continue and they did. After four more nights of nightmares Beth began to think about ways for her to make the effects of them less so. The changes were very slight now so emotionally/mentally she was used to it, not that she would ever be okay with it, but she was used it. The thing she had to worry about was physically. By lashing out she was hurting anyone who tried to comfort her. Thoughts of tying herself to the bed or locking the cell door came to mind. The former would be dangerous if there was ever an attack and the latter may also prove a problem in that scenario. Despite that she considered these options. She even considered sleeping elsewhere, away from everyone so that no one could get hurt or disturbed by her nightmares.

However, by the fifth night she hadn't decided on any and that was the night both the nightmare and the events after changed completely.

For almost all of the day Beth had busied herself with anything and everything she could do, so when she went to bed there was no trying to get to sleep. The minute her head hit the pillow she was out like a light and transported to her most recent hell.

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><p>Beth gasped as she opened her eyes. As they began to focus she got the sickening feeling that this nightmare was different. This time she was looking up. Scanning her eyes around the room Beth realised that she wasn't where she normally woke up. Bringing her eyes closer to home she discovered that she was in the room at the end of the corridor, sitting in the dentist chair she had seen so many times before.<p>

Lately the same trip down the corridor had given her time to somewhat prepare for what could change but this was different. Beth's breathing became more rapid as she struggled against the restraints that were clasped tightly around her wrists and ankles. During her struggle the chair moved into an upright position.

All energy drained completely out of Beth as she came face to face with the Governor. He was in front of her on a chair with wheels. He rolled himself round to the side of her where he picked up a scalpel off of the metal table.

The Governor said something to her but although his mouth moved no sound came out. Beth tried to talk, to tell him she hadn't heard him in case he was going to use her lack of response against her, but her mouth never opened. Her eyes grew wide as she watched his every move. He was looking at her expectantly and when she didn't move or speak he just shrugged his shoulders and wheeled himself even closer to her.

With a steady hand the Governor put the tip of the scalpel against her shoulder. He pushed the blade in without going too far as to break the skin. Just when it did start to break the skin he twisted the knife and pushed even harder. Before the knife got to deep the Governor gripped it firmly in his hand and dragged it down her arm towards her elbow. When he reached it he twisted it around again before dragging it down to her hand.

With every bit of movement searing pain shot right through Beth, especially when the knife would get stuck and he would yank it to get it moving again. As well as the pain she could feel the blood dripping down her arm but every time she opened her mouth to scream or protest nothing came out. Her lips wouldn't even move, no matter how hard she tried.

When he was done with that arm he moved round to do the other follow by both of her legs. Each one went the same and once he was done with all of them he placed the tip between her breasts. He twisted the knife as he dug it then brought the blade down to her belly button. After that he just went wild. He dragged the knife to either side of her body as well as up and down.

Blood was pouring out of her from all areas now. Each drop rolled slowly off of her skin and smacked off of the concrete floor. She could barely keep her eyes open but the pain never lessened. Every time the slightest bit of air hit her skin or the blade moved she felt a new dose of pain.

It was so surreal to Beth. There was no nearby access to the outside world so where was the breeze that kept hurting her coming from? And surely by now she would be unconscious if not dead from all this blood loss? But even they didn't help. Knowing that this was so ridiculous that it had to be a nightmare didn't make it feel any less real. The pain was very real and the thing that scared Beth the most was the realisation that she probably felt this much pain because she had a lot of experience with it.

It only made her feel even more messed up to think that pain was even more of a dominant thing in her life and it was usually something she couldn't control. Death was never something she was used to but it was something she had to deal with before the dead started walking. The feeling of extreme hunger, dehydrated skin and much more were all things she was used to and pains that she could control but this was different. Until the Governor had taken her she had never felt physical pain like this that was completely out of her control. It terrified her and it made her most recent nightmare even more horrific.

As she laid in the chair she prayed that like usual a voice would enter her dream and wake her up. With this dream being different she had no idea whether this one had been going on longer or shorter than the last few she had had. Her faith began to waver and she started to think that maybe this was one nightmare she was never going to wake up from, but then she heard a whisper. A voice so faint that she would have missed it if she hadn't of been searching for it.

This voice was surprisingly soft. It was as quiet as possible but she caught her name and got the sense of repetition. She tried her best to hold onto it as tightly as possible. The more she focused on the words the louder they got. Bit by bit Beth felt the pain lessen and the world around her become hazier.

Beth gasped as the pain went away completely. Her breathing was hectic but she felt some relief at the lack of blood dripping down her body and the sound of it hitting the floor. Never had Beth been more thankful to wake up from one of her nightmares. She didn't even feel embarrassed at the thought of someone holding her down and possibly getting hurt, but when Beth opened her eyes all of that was forgotten. Her breathing stopped completely as she came face to face with Merle.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Merle stopped mid-whisper as Beth looked up at him. Both of them were very aware of the close proximity they were in. Merle had his good arm rested across Beth's torso with his hand on her head, fingers tangled in her hair softly. She could feel that he had used that arm to hold her down if she had gotten too out of hand. The blade was missing from the other arm and said arm lay on the mattress above her head. Their legs were almost tangled together and he was pretty close to being half on top of her.

Even so the moment Beth twisted her arms out from under his grasp and held onto him, he refused to move. He stayed completely still until he got any sort of signal from her that he should move away. Her breathing was coming back to her slowly and although she was shocked to see Merle beside her she seemed to be a lot calmer looking at him.

"I'm okay," she finally got out. It was barely a whisper, bordering on a croak.

Merle didn't say a word. He just withdrew himself from her and sat up on the bed. Beth took a moment to get used to the difference before she forced herself into a sitting position.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up, only just becoming aware of the fact that there were others in and near her cell. It had been Maggie who had spoken. From the look on her face it was clear that she hadn't heard Beth speak before. Again it was only Maggie and Hershel that were inside of the cell. Daryl had stepped inside too but probably only because Merle was in there.

"I'm fine," Beth answered, her voice a little louder this time around. "Really, I'm sorry I disturbed you all."

Surprising Beth, Maggie didn't ask her if she was okay again. "Don't worry about it. You were very quiet for the most part. It was only towards the very end that you started to really lash out."

"It's not that early," Hershel said in a reassuring tone. "We were all up and getting ready for our day. We wanted you to rest a little longer because we could hear you having a nightmare."

"Then I lashed out," Beth guessed, nodding her head.

"Merle heard ya," Daryl spoke up. "Ya wouldn't calm down when ya sister and that tried so he stepped in."

Beth looked at Merle and he glanced her way. Neither of them said anything and after only a mere moment the pair of them looked away from each other again. Merle was the first to move and as he stood he looked over his shoulder at her one more time. He gave her a half smirk before leaving the room. Beth wasn't quite sure what to think or say but just as she began to worry about such things everyone began to leave too. Hershel patted Beth's knee softly before he left and Maggie offered her sister a comforting smile before leaving.

As soon as they were out Beth stepped up and away from the bed. She moved over to the chest of drawers she had in there and dipped her hands into the bowl of water on top of it. Lately she had been keeping a bowl of water in her cell so she could splash her face and freshen up a little. With her nightmares it was always needed. Carefully she rubbed her hands together in the water and then splashed it on her face and rubbed down the back of her neck. Reaching for the towel that laid beside it she patted her face and rubbed her neck dry. As she pulled out new clothes and changed she splashed and dried various parts of her body to help freshen herself up.

When she felt a lot better she pulled on a sweater and headed out into the main area. Almost everyone had gone outside so Beth headed out there herself in the hopes of finding Merle so she could thank him properly for getting involved. However, as she stepped out there was hardly anyone insight. She could see her father near the garden patches with Carol and Judith. Rick and Carl were by the fence with Daryl. Milton had been inside and if she was right Michonne and Andrea would be in the tower. Merle, Maggie and Glenn were nowhere to be seen. However as she looked around she found Maggie heading towards her.

"It's today."

"What's today?" Beth questioned, holding her hand up to block the sun out of her eyes.

"Woodbury," Maggie said simply, cautiously.

"It's been planned," Beth reminded. "If it's really going to happen then it will work out."

"I think it'll be easier now we know that you're safe, I think that was clouding our judgement last time," Maggie said thoughtfully.

They both stood there for a moment. Maggie looking out over the ground and Beth looking at Maggie.

"Thank you," Beth finally said, capturing Maggie's attention.

"For what?" her sister asked, genuinely confused by the sudden comment.

"For not pushing it before when I said I was fine," Beth explained, offering her sister a small smile. "I know you're worried but I promise you that if I thought it would help I would tell you everything. I don't think it will though."

"I know," Maggie nodded, putting her arm momentarily around her sister to give her a small hug. "I get it. As much as I wish you would tell me I don't want you to end up hating me. Maybe after we finally finish this thing once and for all we can both breathe a little easier."

"Who's going to Woodbury?" Beth asked as they pulled apart.

"It's not fully been decided but we're having a group meeting before anyone goes, it should all be happening soon."

Beth nodded her head and kicked at the ground. "Good, it should be a joint decision." A pause, neither of them spoke so Beth hurried on. "I think I'm going to take a walk around the grounds, see if I can spot anything that needs done."

"I'm going back inside to help Milton, Glenn will be joining us soon," Maggie told her, motioning towards the prison. "Come get me if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," she agreed. "Thanks."

The two of them awkwardly stood there for a moment before both turning and heading in their appropriate directions. Beth headed around the prison to where they parked the trucks and such. She knew exactly who she was looking for and she prayed he hadn't gone out for a hunt.

As she stepped around to the area she spotted Merle sitting in the back of the truck with his legs hanging off of the edge. He was shaving bits of wood off of a stick and letting the pieces drop to the ground. He didn't seem to be doing it for any real reason, just simply to pass time. Beth watched him for a few moments before making her way over.

Apart from a slight twitch there was no other indication that he had heard her. So when she got over she simply hoisted herself up onto the truck beside him and sat there. The two of them sat in silence but she didn't mind. She wanted to talk to him about earlier but she also liked just sitting beside him.

"Ya just gonna sit there?" he asked her as he continued to shave the stick.

"Are you just going to shave a stick?" she questioned, looking at him.

He smirked, dropping the stick to the ground. "What ya doin' out here?"

"I came to thank you," Beth said simply.

"For?"

"Stopping me from lashing out, for waking me up," she told him. "I was praying that I would wake up. It was different, worse and I just needed to wake up. So thank you for doing that."

"I had to shut ya up somehow."

Beth pushed him at the sight of his soft smirk. "Yeah, yeah."

Merle chuckled but grew serious almost instantly. "You really okay though?"

"It was nothing I haven't handled before," Beth shrugged, not really sure if she meant the dream in general or what happened in it.

"Well after our business in Woodbury is done maybe those dreams will go away," Merle suggested. "I'm gonna kill that one eyed bastard myself if I have to."

"I have no doubts that he will be dealt with."

"Then why do ya sound so unsure?"

Beth took a deep breath. "I know the Governor will be dealt with but he's not the only one I'm scared of that lives in Woodbury."

"Jackson," Merle said knowingly. "I'll make sure he don't get away with it either."

"You're already going after the Governor and you promised me you would get Martinez," Beth reminded him. "If you do too much you're gonna get hurt."

"I guess we'll find out what I can and can't handle once we get there," Merle said, not dwelling too much on her concern. "Talkin' about that, we better get inside for the meetin'."

Beth nodded her head and slipped off of the truck and stepped away. Merle jumped down too and together they headed back towards the prison.

* * *

><p>The meeting lasted a short while. It was discussed what would happen and when. It wasn't necessarily a final option but this plan would get them much closer and give them details to all the missing pieces. Now that Beth was safely back at the prison they could think about getting rid of the Governor with a fresh and open mind. Although Beth had someone she cared about in Woodbury she never brought it up. She knew Merle was going to look for Martinez and she doubted that anyone else would understand her need to get him back.<p>

For the most part Beth was glued to Rick as he explained what would happen but the thing she wanted to hear about was who was going.

"So, any volunteers?" Rick finally asked, looking around at the group.

"You know I'm goin' with ya," Daryl spoke up from his spot behind Rick.

Rick nodded his head, not even bothering to look back at him. "Anyone else?"

"I know Woodbury, I could be some help when I get there," Milton told him.

"That would be great," Rick agreed. "Are you sure though?"

"Positive."

"And guns are going to be a bad choice if we want to stay quiet," Michonne added as she gripped her katana. "I can be ruthless but silent."

"I'm comin' as well," Merle spoke up before anyone could say anything. "I know Woodbury too but I also have stakes in this. I can go by myself or I can help ya'll out."

Rick seemed to think about it for a moment but eventually he nodded his head. "Okay, but nobody else. Andrea, Glenn and Maggie should be able to guard the prison and do patrols while we're gone. Carol and Hershel you need to stay inside with Judith and keep an eye on things in here. Beth and Carl stay safe but help out where you can. If there is any sign of trouble then at least two of us will come back here to check."

With everyone in agreement they all broke apart to get ready.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: _I was thinking about this story a lot while I was away over the weekend and I've come up with a couple of ideas of how to go from here. Sorry it's taken me this long to update. Life has been hectic which is surprising for me. Anyway, it meant that I had plenty of time to think about this story. I hope ya'll enjoy :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

Almost as soon as they were ready Rick, Daryl, Merle, Michonne, and Milton headed for Woodbury. They took one car and as little as they could to keep the trip light. Just enough food and water to keep them through and enough weapons to get the job done. The trip there was silent and the only sounds beside the car itself were the walkers they passed and left long behind in the rear-view mirror. Stops were minor and never lasted for very long; just enough time to clear what was blocking their path or to take a breather.

As they arrived at Woodbury they kept their eyes on the front. Like last time there were people patrolling high up on the fences, guns ready for any disturbances. From last time they saw that armed people did occasionally make their way throughout Woodbury but all the other sides were always less guarded. With planning they were able to stay out of view of the guards and get round to the left side. They stuck to the shadows until they found a soft spot within the wall.

"The building just behind this section of wall is a store building," Milton explained.

"Let's try another building," Rick decided.

"No," Milton said, placing his hand on Rick's shoulder. "This building is good. It has all the things that Woodbury residents will need to do their jobs. It's _their_ storage so the Governor's men shouldn't step foot in there unless there's a commotion."

"He's right," Merle agreed. "I don't think I've ever stepped foot in anything like that before."

"There should be a window on vent," Milton continued on. "The heat is usually unbearable so they leave one open slightly."

"It's our best shot," Daryl agreed. "We might not find another spot we can breach."

"Okay," Rick finally agreed. "One of us should go over and check it out."

"I'll do it," Michonne spoke up before anyone else could or more could be shared on the matter.

With no arguments Michonne made her way along the barrier a little before standing up. It took a little work but she managed to breach the wall. When no alarms went off she slipped through and placed her back against the wall of the building. She looked left and right before standing up at the window. It was cracked open slightly just like Milton said. Michonne slipped her hand underneath and managed to knock the latch out of place and pull the window open wider.

With a quick glance inside it became apparent that it was safe enough so she called on the others. Once everyone was through the wall they slipped in through the window and ducked behind some boxes to prepare for a proper sweep of the place. They withdrew their weapons and once Rick gave the order they fanned out and checked every inch of the place.

Everyone took a section of the room (which wasn't very big in size anyway) and all shouted clear. However, just as Rick was about to clear the final area the door to the building opened up and the sound of a small child filled the air. The child was cut off mid sentence as the group turned to face him. He must have been no older than nine years old. He had been pulled behind a middle-aged woman, probably his mother. She clearly had no weapon on her and was holding onto the boy for dear life, doing what she could to keep him out of view.

"Please don't hurt us," she begged.

"We won't," Rick assured her, putting his gun back in the holster.

Despite that and everyone else putting their weapons away (except Merle, who well, couldn't without some unneeded effort) she still looked unsure. "You attacked us before. Right?"

"We did," Rick agreed, shocking her further with his honesty. "But you need to know the truth. The Governor and his men kidnapped a girl from our group. We've gotten her back now but she went through hell, she was barely eighteen."

Shock spread across the woman's face as she placed a hand over mouth. Her grip loosened ever so slightly on her son and the rest of her body seemed to relax a little. It was all going well until her eyes fell on a member of the group. "Wait, you work closely with the Governor!"

Rick didn't even had to turn around to see who she meant. He opened his mouth to defend why Merle was there but instead it was Milton who spoke. "You're right. He does. And so did I. You're... Laura, right?"

"Yes," Laura agreed a little reluctantly.

"Now, Laura I may have lied to you all about who the Governor really was but I've never lied about anything else, have I?" Milton asked. "I've also done my best to help the residents out as best as I could."

Laura was silent for a moment but eventually she nodded. "You have."

"I lied about the Governor to protect you all," Milton tried to assure her. "Merle helped the girl Rick mentioned before. Her name is Beth. Martinez was also helping Beth but unfortunately he had to stay behind."

"Why are you here?"

"We want to get rid of the Governor and all of his men," Michonne said, speaking up for the first time. "He's caused a lot of pain and he needs to be eliminated."

"For everyone's safety," Milton added.

"There are so many innocent people here," Laura told them all. "If I bring you Martinez now will you promise not to attack today? If I get him for you will that be enough good faith for you to give me some time to get everyone away from the fighting?"

At her words the group huddled a little to discuss. Various arguments went up (mostly from Merle) but for the most part the group had no real choice. If they didn't agree Laura could blab to the Governor so that she could keep all the innocent people safe, plus the group didn't really want that many undeserving deaths on their conscience.

"Okay," Rick finally agreed. "If you manage to get us Martinez we'll adapt our plans."

"Thank you," she said but before anyone could respond or ague, she hurriedly pushed her son out of the door and disappeared.

* * *

><p>The group were in the room for a long time. They stayed out of view with their weapons ready just in case it was a trick. Milton vouched for the woman. He hadn't had many interactions with her but he knew she was good. She lived with an elderly couple and a small family. She had never met any of them before but with it just being herself and her son she knew what being on your own was like. She was a good person, but she was taking her time.<p>

Just as the group was about to give up, the door finally clicked open.

Laura stepped through with her son and behind them came Martinez. He was leaning on a crutch as he tried to keep his weight off of his injured leg as much as possible. He was so focused on walking that he didn't look up until the door shut behind them. His eyes fell on the group and he would have worried but then he spotted Merle. A grin spread across his face at the sight.

"Well, shit," Martinez chuckled. "You really did make it back."

"Yeah, I got her back to her group."

"Good," Martinez agreed with a nod of his head. "What are you doing back here? Laura didn't want to explain."

"We're getting rid of the Governor for good," Rick explained. "On the way Merle filled us in on what you actually did to help Beth. We owe you."

"When's the attack?"

Rick looked to Laura. "We're going to come back tomorrow. There's no specific time for it."

"I have a lot of work tomorrow," Laura assured. "I can come and go in here as much as I like without causing suspicion. I'll check every hour or so."

"We won't do anything until we see you," Rick promised. "But you only have tonight to make your plans. Get them as far away from this end of Woodbury as possible."

"The Governor has been pissed about Beth's escape and Merle's involvement but he doesn't want the residents to know it," Martinez explained. "He's been thinking of a way to keep the residents busy. Plan something big, like a party or a gathering. It would make sure everyone is in one place so the Governor doesn't have to watch himself. He'll stay far away from it."

Laura nodded her head in agreement. "Don't worry about it, I'll sort it."

Merle moved over to them and offered his support to Martinez. Laura and her son grabbed a couple of boxes and with a quick glance at the group they carried them outside. Michonne slipped out of the window first. She held the window open as Milton climbed through. Together they held it open as Merle helped Martinez over and then helped him through the window before he climbed through himself. As soon as Daryl and Rick were out they started to make their way back through the wall.

Once they were back at the car they were home-free from there. With the tight squeeze the journey was silent except for a quiet discussion between Merle and Martinez.

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><p>It was a long time before Beth heard any real conversation. She had helped out around the prison but when she got a moment to rest, she came back to her cell. She laid down on her bunk for a bit until she would need to do something again. Like everyone else she was worried. In the old world if people you cared about went to do something dangerous you could call them or something, but now that part of the game had changed. Now, you had to just wait and hope that those people you cared about would come home to you.<p>

The conversation that drifted into her cell was new and a lot louder. She knew instantly that the others must be back. She got up off of her bed but as she went to walk out of the cell she heard a voice she recognised. The voice didn't say much but it was definitely the one she had been hoping to hear. After a moment of silence. She quickly exited her cell. Praying that the voice was real. It was.

"Martinez," she breathed out. She took in the sight of him. He was favouring one leg more than the other and he looked tired, but other than that he seemed to be okay.

He looked over at her. Gently he pushed passed everyone and without a word he made his way over to her and they met half way. Beth's arms wrapped around his neck as his wrapped around her waist, lifting her off of the ground slightly as she buried her face in his neck. The hug lasted barely a moment or two before he letsl go of her and began to check her over.

"You're okay?" he asked as his hands brushed the hair out of her face to get a better look at her.

"I'm fine," she whispered. "I'm sorry about your leg."

"Forgot about it, I can still walk," he said, waving the topic away. "I'm just happy you got out, that you got back here."

"You'll stay here too, won't you?" Beth asked him, trying her hardest not to sound needy or desperate.

"I'll stay wherever you want me to," he told her softly. "As long as you need me."

She took a deep sigh of relief. "I've missed you."

"Well you're stuck with me for a long time coming," Martinez assured her with a soft chuckle as he kissed the top of her head.

They stood there for a long time. Nobody else said a word. A couple of people slipped out to do watch duty but generally everyone stayed still. All Beth and Martinez did was let the shock wear off as they talked a little. They were both clear on the fact that they were okay and between the questions the silence came. Eventually they managed to pull apart from each other properly and Beth caught Merle's eye.

She gave Martinez a soft smile before she made her way over to where Merle stood at the back of the group. She stood in front of him for a moment before going on her tip-toes to hug him. He wrapped his good arm around her to support her.

"Thank you," Beth told him as she pulled away. "For bringing him back like you said you would."

"It weren't nothin'," Merle shrugged. "Was no trouble to me."

She gave him a soft smile and he nodded at her in response before turning and leaving the cell block to go outside. Although his words were kind there was something in his voice, his attitude. He didn't seem sincere. Beth spoke and answered some questions without really paying much attention. When she felt like it was the right time to, she excused herself for some air and headed outside.

Her plan was to find Merle and make sure that everything was okay. If something had happened then there was no way she would forgive herself. He had agreed to get Martinez so that she wouldn't go to Woodbury. If anything happened to Merle then it was her fault. She needed to find him so she could know for sure.

The finding him part wasn't hard at all. She found with with the parked vehicles. He had lowered the tailgate of one of the trucks and was lying in the bed of it. His head was propped up near the window and his eyes were closed. Beth made her way over and hoisted herself up into the truck. She sat next to Merle with her legs laid out in front of her. Merle didn't speak or open his eyes but Beth could could tell that he knew it was her.

"Did something happen?" she asked quietly.

"Nothin' Rick didn't explain," Merle shrugged. "You were in ya cell, but we're goin' back tomorrow. There was this woman and her son. She helped get Martinez so we agreed to give her tonight to find away to keep any innocent people away from the fightin'."

Beth liked that plan. She hadn't seen the above ground side of Woodbury really but she knew there were good people there, people who had no idea what horrors lay on their front doors (besides the walking dead of course).

"So how come you didn't sound sincere before?"

"You must be hearin' things," he mumbled. "I meant what I said, it was nothin'."

"Then why does it sound like it something?" she questioned.

"Would ya quit it?" he asked.

"No, I want to know what's wrong. You were happy to go because it meant I would stay here, but as soon as I thank you, you-" She stopped dead and looked down at him. "Are you... Is this a _jealousy_ thing?"

"I ain't jealous," he mumbled, folding his arms over his chest and sinking further down."

A smile played on Beth's lips. "You are jealous. That's it."

"I'm done with ya childish games," Merle told her. "Either ya stay and shut it, or ya move on."

Beth didn't say another word. She wasn't sure why exactly he would be jealous but he hadn't denied the fact. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and laid back. The thought of him caring enough to be jealous warmed her. It was just something else to add to a good day and Beth was going to take all she could get before tomorrow came.

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><p>R&amp;R<p> 


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

The following day the same group of people travelled back to Woodbury. They had a discussion all through out the night about what they would do and eventually they came up with a plan. It wasn't foolproof and a lot of it depended on the situation but they had some rough idea on who would be doing what and when they would do it. If they could cover as many sides of Woodbury as possible then there would be less chance of the Governor or his men getting away. Once the plan was discussed, it wasn't mentioned again.

When they arrived at Woodbury the took the same route as before but this time they made some slight differences just in case Laura turned against them or had been discovered. When it seemed safe enough they pushed through the wall and climbed in through the window. Laura wasn't there yet so they got their weapons out and stopped behind some boxes. They listened carefully for any sounds of people approaching, each of them ready in case somebody unexpected came in. They didn't have to wait too long before the door to the building creaked open.

Rick motioned for the others to stay down before he peered over the boxes. He spotted Laura, as casually as she could, shut the door behind her and step properly into the room. When he was sure she was definitely alone and wasn't being followed he stood up and the others followed close behind.

"So?" Rick questioned her.

"I have a plan," Laura explained, looking at them all as she stepped even closer. "The Governor was in a horrid mood so I knew he wouldn't allow a full blown party or celebration of any sort. So instead we're having a 'workers gathering'." When they all looked from her to each other she sighed and hurried on. "There's going to food and drink but our goal is not to celebrate but to discuss what we do for the community and how we can improve. By doing this everyone gets a break so they'll want to come but the Governor sees it as a helpful thing so he won't try to stop it."

"What about the kids and those who don't really work around here?" Michonne questioned. "Will they be there?"

"They won't be outside with us," Laura explained. "But anyone not there will be in a nearby building. Some of the elderly need care and of course the kids do, so we're using us being busy as an excuse to move them down so we can keep any eye on them. Problem is, this won't last long, there's no need for us to spend hours and hours doing something like that."

"Hopefully this won't take long," Rick assured.

"So what's the plan exactly?" Laura asked.

"Myself, Daryl and Merle," Rick started, motioning to the appropriate people, "are going to go over to the opposite side, is there a way we can do that safely and without being seen?"

"Only if you're quick, but there's no guarantee."

"Well if we can, you will stay here with Michonne and Milton," Rick continued on, again motioning to the appropriate people. "When we see the Governor and I give a signal, we attack. If they're out in the open and spread out they won't be expecting it. As soon as I give the signal, Laura you need to run to everyone else. Explain what's going on and get them somewhere safe. Inside buildings, underground, whatever you need to do. Just make sure you keep them in the back half of Woodbury."

"I can do that," Laura agreed.

Without another word they all moved to the door. There was noise travelling from the back of Woodbury but it was far enough away. When they looked out towards the front they spotted a couple of people perched up high, scouring the area but most were looking outside of Woodbury, keeping an eye on the walkers. The Governor was among them but he was too busy talking to them all.

With a lot of stopping and going Rick, Daryl and Merle managed to get across to the other side. With no one really walking around it was easy for them to duck behind various things and disguise themselves. A couple of times they were almost spotted as the Governor's men looked around but they managed to just about make it.

They were barely in their positions for long when the Governor stopped talking. He made his way away from the wall with a couple of men. He was still near the front but not too close to where majority of his men were keeping watch. He sat down on one of the benches outside while his men stood nearby, talking to each other. As the Governor became a little bit more relaxed and closed his eyes to enjoy the quiet, Rick gave a signal to the others.

Laura took off running as the others prepared to fight.

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><p>Beth hid behind a tree as the fighting broke out. They had all been so determined to get there that they hadn't seen or heard her sneak into the trunk of the car. She hid herself well and when the car stopped she waited a bit before opening the trunk up. She followed their footprints and when they stopped she just kept going forward in what she hoped was the right direction. Eventually she came across the wall and she saw them climb through the breach in it. She didn't dare step any closer until she knew it was safe.<p>

The only reason she was even there was because of a conversation she had had with Martinez. The night before they had spoken properly. She told him about the journey back and what it was like to be back at the prison. In turn he told her about what happened to him. His leg had been treated after the Governor's men failed to catch up with them but almost as soon as that was done he was subjected to a beating. He was made to prove his loyalty to the Governor before him not being involved in the escape would be believed.

Beth fought with herself about going in. There was a lot she needed to deal with in there for herself and for Martinez, but the idea scared her. If it went wrong then there was a lot at stake. She couldn't live with what might happen. For a while she debated it. She could hear gun shots and yelling, making her heart beat faster and her breathing come quicker. In the end it all over whelmed her too much that she ran to the wall just to do something other panic.

When she got there she went straight through the wall. She spotted the open window on the building directly in front of her and she figured that had to be how they got in undetected. Awkwardly she managed to slip in through the window, but the second she dropped into the room Michonne turned around. The pair of them just stared at each other.

"Shouldn't you be out there?" Beth asked, trying to change the subject.

The door was cracked open and Milton was firing out of it. "We had to take cover!"

"What are you doing here?" Michonne asked calmly.

"I snuck into the trunk, Martinez told me what he went through and I knew I had to be here to see this thing end for good," Beth explained, finally walking over to them. "I need to be here."

"You got a weapon?"

Beth held up her knife and the gun she had been given on the journey back to the prison. Michonne nodded her head before moving back to the door. She slipped outside with her katana in hand. Beth went over to the door and helped keep them at bay with Milton. There was a lot of commotion but Beth tried her hardest to focus on who to shoot.

* * *

><p>Eventually the fighting started to cease. The group looked around at each other and then together they searched for who was still standing. They could vaguely hear people running away but by time they looked in that direction the sound of a gun shot went off. Rick, Merle and Daryl could all hear Michonne ask Milton where Beth was. The three of them of them didn't bother to fathom why Beth was even there but instead they focused on the fact that Milton seemed to have absolutely no idea where she was.<p>

Fearing the worst they chased the sound of the gun shot. It came from the opposite side to where the broke in. Form what Milton and Merle had said the apartment where Beth was kept was on that side as was the entrance to the underground cells she had been locked away in. Merle never revealed what happened to her only that those buildings were the Governors. They knew then the sounds of people running must have been the Governor and/or his men.

As they got closer to the barrier they spotted two people. They were both standing but one crumpled to the floor. The group stared as Beth stood, breathing heavily but seemingly unharmed. Rick went to her and checked her over but there was no sign of any wound. When he was sure, he finally looked down at the Governor before he slowly, in stunned silence, looked back at Beth.

"He tried to shoot me so I stabbed the fucker's other eye out," she said calmly.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	28. Chapter 28

**WARNING: **Violence, not as bad as it has been, but violence!

A/N: _I kind of feel like my writing has been lacking lately but you've all been so lovely with your reviews. I just want to thank you all so much, I always love coming back to this story and it's because of you guys, so big thanks and huge hugs! :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

As the shock seemed to wear off Daryl crouched down to retrieve the knife while Michonne stabbed her katana through the Governor's head. Rick checked Beth over one more time, becoming more and more aware of the fact that she was here.

"What are you doing here?" Rick asked, a stern tone but gentle actions.

"Martinez told me what he had to go through to prove his loyalty," Beth explained, no sound of regret in her voice. "I knew then that I couldn't allow the Governor to hurt anybody else."

"That was a stupid thing running after him alone," Rick told her, although inside he was thrilled at the fact that _somebody_ had ended it.

"I know," she agreed but her expression never changed. "But I saw him getting away and I couldn't allow that."

"If ya didn't do it, I would've done much worse," Merle spoke up.

Beth finally cracked a smile, thankful that someone didn't think she was stupid. "Shame I got there first."

Merle chuckled and Rick spoke up again. "Look, I'm not angry that you did it. I'm honestly pretty proud that you seem to be able to handle yourself, I'm just a little angry at how you went about it. If Michonne and Milton hadn't of seen you then we would have had no idea you were here, you could have been taken again."

Beth laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I knew the risks but I couldn't just sit outside those walls and wait, or stay back at the prison. I'm sorry I took the way I did it was a little reckless but I'm not sorry for how it ended up."

"I think we might be safe now," Rick told her. "At least a lot safer than what we have been."

Beth cracked another smile, a bigger one, but before anyone could say anything they heard more sounds. It was coming from the part of the barrier that they were pretty much right next to. The whole group prepared themselves and ran towards the noise. As they passed the obstacles that were in their way they spotted three men going through an opening in the barrier.

"I was kept out there," Beth told them all.

"It's a doorway," Merle explained, motioning towards the gap in the wall. "There's a fenced area beyond it and beyond that there's a door in the floor. Like a shelter."

Beth looked back at him. "There's no other way out of there though, they wouldn't go there."

Realising that they planned to make a run for it instead of fighting Merle took off running towards the barrier. By time the others chased after him he was already through the gap. It didn't matter how fast they went, they couldn't catch up with him. All they could do was continue on running and watch as he tackled one of the three men to the ground.

When the group did catch up Daryl took out one of the men which an arrow and Michonne got another with her katana. Once they were down they turned to where Merle was. Beth took an automatic step back when she realised the man Merle was on top of and beating up was Jackson. They all stared as Merle threw punch after punch. He attacked with such force and anger that no one dared to step forward. From his expression it was clear he was pissed at Jackson, Beth knew exactly why but she could also see that he was taken out the anger he felt towards himself.

Merle didn't stop until his arms ached and Jackson was completely still. His face almost unrecognisable and Merle's knuckles were wrecked while his bladed arm was covered in blood and God only knows what else. Beth felt sick to her stomach and it pained her that she didn't feel half the relief she expected to feel now that it was over.

"Merle, come on," Daryl said softly as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "He's dead. Ya gotta move."

Eventually Merle blinked and slowly stood up. He tried his best to wipe away the blood from his face and shirt. As he did Daryl shot Jackson through the head with an arrow before attaching it back to the bow.

When nobody spoke Beth made her way over to Merle. She didn't say a word as she stood beside him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He sighed softly and placed an arm around her shoulders. Together they walked back towards the wall, Merle leaning ever so slightly into her. The others followed on behind them.

Once they were back inside Woodbury Merle and Beth went to one of the benches to sit down. Michonne and Milton headed to the back of Woodbury to get everyone else while Rick waited to speak to all of the residents and Daryl kept on high alert just in case.

"You're safe," Rick called out to residents as they came closer. "I promise you that you are safe now."

"I told them everything," Laura spoke up. "I made sure they knew everything I could tell them."

"The Governor was a terrible man," Beth said from her spot on the bench. "Trust me, I know first-hand."

"This is who you were talking about?" Laura asked Rick.

"It is," Rick agreed.

"This is the girl they told me about," Laura informed the residents. "The one the Governor kept locked up."

"For weeks, under torturous conditions," Beth mumbled, not wanting to elaborate too much.

"What now?" One of the residents called out.

"We want to make a deal," Rick told them all. "We want you guys to be able to stay here safely and for our two groups to live in peace and help each other where we can."

An eruption of amused and interested sounds went up around the residents. When it seemed they were interested Rick told them the details. That had been part of the plan. To come up with a deal, a treaty if you will, to keep the two groups on good terms and not have a repeat of the Governor's reign ever again.

In the most basic understanding the terms of the treaty were this; for the most part the Prison group and Woodbury group would be separate groups, however there would be occasional meetings to discuss matters such as trading and in some ways they would be there for each other. In the end the residents agreed to the idea of it. Rick agreed that they would help where they could on cleaning up and making sure Woodbury was still safe. The one thing that the prison group would absolutely not tolerate was being deliberately dragged into another war with a new group of people.

For now some kind of peace was on the cards.

* * *

><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	29. Chapter 29

**WARNING: **It's not a huge warning but at the end there are some references(?) and similarities to what Jackson did to Beth in an earlier chapter. It's not in detail but yeah, warning. Honestly, I probably didn't even need to put this here._  
><em>

A/N: _This chapter is short but I have two long chapters coming your way that are already written so they should be up very soon!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

When they got back Rick explained to everyone else what happened and how the terms of the treaty went down. It wasn't a surprise to anyone that it would take time and a lot of work from both groups. It wasn't going to be easy and it would involve a lot of back and forward for a while, especially at the beginning. However, if both sides were willing to make it work then they had faith that it would last and they would finally be able to relax, even just a little bit.

During Rick's talk Beth had grabbed the first aid kit and pulled Merle away from everyone. She took him outside so they could both get some fresh air. They found a spot that was a little shaded from the sun and sat down. She worked on cleaning up the blood and then bandaging his hand.

"Are you okay?" she asked him while she worked.

"Just fine," he mumbled.

"It looked like you got a lot of your anger out back there," she noted.

"Most of it, still don't feel much better though." Once his hand was bandaged up he pulled it away. "I know I went a bit overboard but I couldn't stop."

"Why did you do it?"

He looked at her, his expression blank. "Why do ya think?"

Beth didn't say a word. She liked to believe that she was the reason but she was too scared to be told otherwise. It made the relief in her grow that little bit bigger to think that he had killed Jackson for her, that Jackson had died because of what he had done to her. She carefully packed up the first aid kit and put it aside. Slowly she moved closer to him and before she moved in for a hug, she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

They stayed there for a moment, in a mix between a soft innocent kiss and a hug, but she was the first to move away. Before he could respond she moved to stand and excused herself with the intent of finding Martinez. As she walked away Merle stayed where she was and she didn't look back at him. Once she was in she stopped by her daddy's cell and put the first aid box away before finding Martinez sitting at one of the tables.

"I never told anyone what happened," Martinez told her as she sat down. "Merle told me not to when they got me out. I know you were itching to ask me not to last night. I could tell."

She gave him a soft smile. "They killed Jackson and the Governor."

"Good, but I hear _you_ killed the Governor."

"Technically," she shrugged. "Michonne made sure he didn't come back."

"Do you feel any better?" Martinez asked her softly.

"Maybe." If she was honest she wasn't sure just yet. "I think maybe I just need time to let it settle, to get used to the idea."

"Well today proves that you have a lot of people around you that won't let anything bad happen to you again," Martinez assured her as he placed his hands over hers. "I would have been there today if I could, but I was dubbed a liability seen as I can't bear to put weight on my bad leg for more than five minutes at a time without help."

"I'm glad you're back," she told with as she smiled widely at him. "Don't tell him 'cause it'll get to his head but I'm glad Merle is here too."

* * *

><p>Beth was glad that they were there and she believed in what Martinez said. She was surrounded by great people and she knew they would go out of their way to keep her safe. For the rest of the day right up till she went to bed Beth felt the safest she had in weeks. However the second she fell asleep she knew that she would never be allowed to feel safe again.<p>

The nightmare was the most unexpected thing. It took her completely by surprise that the fear was even more real this time around. Everything around her was pitch black, like her sight had been taken away from her completely. Her clothes were completely gone and she could feel the cold of the floor beneath her, but the thing that scared the life out of her was the feel of two hands roaming her body and the extreme pain that followed soon after.

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><p>AN: _ah, don't be angry. This isn't going to set anything back, in the next two chapters we see Beth pretty much find peace and although it doesn't seem like it, the end of this is the start of that._

_R&R_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

When Beth woke up in the early hours of the morning she was just glad to know that this time around she hadn't woken anyone up. Her face was flushed and her breathing a little out of control but on the surface it appeared that her new nightmare was nowhere near as bad as her old ones. The only problem was that to Beth this one _was_ worse. Although the nightmare seemed to be shorter, it was a million times worse and that made it all harder to deal with.

Moving over to where her clothes were, she pulled out a an over-sized jumper and pulled it on. She pinned her hair up in a messy bun, scraping as much of it back out of her eyes as she could. As quietly as she could she made her way out of her cell and out of the cell block itself. She headed out to the front of the prison on a search for somewhere to sit down where she wouldn't a) be a bother to anyone who might be up, b) could get the fresh air she so desperately needed and c) have at least some warning if someone was nearby so she could pull herself together.

Eventually she found a spot that was half in the shadows. It was still pretty dark out but anyone walking by would see her, however they would have to come extremely close in order to see her face so if she did happen to freak out she had a few extra minutes to pull her shit together. As Beth thought up that plan she realised how much swearing had become apart of her lately and how much of an outlet it seemed to be for her. She loved her daddy and the Lord but such profanities couldn't be all bad if they felt so good.

As she leaned back on her hands with her legs stretched out in front of her the fresh air seemed to really hit her. It washed over her but a shower would have been miles better. It just so happened, however, that their showers wouldn't do the job she needed, instead she would need something much stronger and powerful to wash away what she was feeling. She tried to empty her mind but even at the ungodly hour of which it was, that seemed impossible.

"What are ya doin' out here?"

She looked over to see Merle. He wasn't close enough to see how tired she felt or that something was desperately wrong, but she knew that he was concerned either way. "I needed the fresh air."

"I though you'd be feelin' better," he admitted as he came over and sat down beside her. There was more space than usual between them but he had his body turned towards her so it still felt inviting.

"I had another nightmare." She looked down at her lap. It felt good to admit it out loud, that she was still pretty messed up, but at the same time she felt almost ashamed that she wasn't over it yet.

"But the Governor is gone," he reminded her. "Ya did a fine job of that might I add."

"He went too far," she shrugged. "But that's not who the nightmares are about."

"They're not about... Me?"

Beth wasn't sure what shocked her more. The fact that Merle still blamed himself enough to think that they were about him or the fact that he wasn't even questioning all of this. Then it hit her, she hadn't officially forgiven him. Sure she had shown it but she had never sat him down and told him that all was forgotten. Her stomach lurched when she realised that maybe that was why he was being so nice.

"Merle, you know I forgive you, right?" she questioned. "For what you did, for your involvement. I forgave you a while ago."

"I figured, ya were lookin' me in the eye more."

"Then why would you think it was about you?"

"I'm the only one who hurt ya that's still alive," he pointed out. "No one else is a danger."

"I think it's what they did that's the danger." She shivered at the memories of the nightmare.

"Then who?" He shuffled closer this time. Maybe as a sign of comfort but Beth knew it was most likely because her voice had dropped in volume.

"Jackson... Maybe," she sighed. "I think."

Merle went completely still and looked away from her. "He's gone."

"Like I said, it's more about what he did."

"Ya mean when he..." He trailed off when he realised Beth was almost curling in on herself. Her legs were drawn so tight against her chest that he was afraid she would get permanently stuck that way.

"In the dream I'm just lying there, or sitting, I can't quite tell," she admitted, her voice shaky. Her mind was screaming to shut up and just deal but for some reason she felt like Merle would just... _Get it_. "And suddenly I feel a pair of hands all over me and there's this blinding pain and I just... I can't seem to forget. I always figured the Governor was the worst of it, even though what he did was minor in comparison to what Jackson did but the Governor has always been the centre of our problems lately, ya know? So I guess I never worried but when I saw how angry you were towards Jackson and just seeing him, it reminded me and I just, I can't forget."

When she finished she realised how fast she had spoken and how now tears streamed down her face. There were hiccups and she was making the most unattractive noises that she felt almost embarrassed about the whole thing. But in amongst it all Merle reached over and took her hand in his. He squeezed it gently and Beth appreciated the act so much more because she knew how hard and unnatural something as simple as hand holding was for Merle. In that moment she realised just how much she had relied on Merle lately, how much she had leaned on him and how little he had pushed her away. It may all be because he felt like he owed her, but in the end he had been there and most of the time she never asked him to be.

"He never should've laid his hands on ya," Merle told her and she could just feel how sorry he was. "I've done a lot of bad things, but I ain't so much a monster, what he did was inhumane."

"I just want to forget," she said sadly. "Even now I feel like maybe I can but then I remember and it hits me all over. I guess I never had time to process was happened back then because I had to deal otherwise I wouldn't survive, now that I'm here and I've got everyone around me I guess my mind is catching up with me."

"Ya ain't gotta worry no more," he said softly. "No one, especially me, is gonna let that happen to ya again. I'll make sure of it, I'll do whatever I can to make ya forget."

Beth scooted closer to him, their hands still intertwined. She was about to lay her head on his shoulder but the closer she got the more trapped she felt. In the end she had her head placed awkwardly near his and suddenly she was leaning in. At first she pressed her lips to his cheek. His skin was rough and it helped to remind her that it was just him and this was okay, this was safe. So she let him twist his head to the side and when their lips brushed together they both stopped. Merle wanting to be sure and Beth not being sure at all. But he was there and he was safe and that's what Beth needed so she kissed him.

Her heart was racing and her mind was in a whirl. Beth had always been a firm believer that a kiss felt ten times better with your eyes closed but she knew if she closed them she would forget that it was Merle. He never moved any closer and he wasn't as forceful as she had expected. Instead he seemed to be taking a back seat while he let _her_ create the pace. A pace that even she was unsure about. Her kiss was soft, deliberate and she tried to memorise how it felt to be kissing Merle so that she could get used to it. The kiss was everything that Merle wasn't but he found himself giving into it, right up to the very moment she pulled away from him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he told her before she could speak or panic or even push him away completely. "I'm gonna help ya and you're gonna be able to continue on with ya life as best as anyone can in this world, but I'ma do whatever I can to get ya to that point where ya can look back and laugh at that bastard and not be scared no more."

It was all so much coming at her at one time, but as she looked at him she knew she believed him.

* * *

><p>"So, you and Merle are getting on better than I ever expected."<p>

Beth and Martinez were lying side by side on her bed. It was just before dinner. All day she did her best to appear normal and it must have worked to some extent because no one questioned her or looked at her with worry, at least not until Martinez approached her. She had told him about her nightmare. Like Merle he assured her that he was there for her but unlike her conversation with Merle, Martinez just hugged her afterwards. He had dragged her to her cell afterwards and that's how they ended up on the bed together. Both of them on their backs, their arms touching as they stared up at the bunk above them.

"He's been helping a lot, he helped me cope while you werent here."

"He's still helping though, right?"

"Yeah, he helped just this morning. "

"This morning?" he questioned, his eyes glancing towards her.

"With my nightmare, I woke up and went outside. He saw me and came over to find out was wrong." Martinez didn't say anything, just nudged her hand with his so she continued on. "We talked and he held my hand. He distracted me, at least for a moment."

"Distracted you how?"

"He..." She lifted herself up enough to look down at him before she flopped back onto the bed. "Nothing, it was nothing. "

But it was something. To Beth it had given her life and made her focus on something good. And to Martinez it was always something with Merle. He may have changed a little since being around Beth and coming to the prison, but deep down it was always something.

"What did he do?"

"_We_... We talked." But she had put too much emphasis on the first 'we'.

He sat up and twisted round to look at her. "Please tell me he didn't make a move on you?"

"He meant it," she argued, her tone defensive. "I could feel that he did."

"He kissed you?" he asked in disbelief. "Did he-"

But he never finished his own question as he flew off of the bed and stormed out of the cell. Beth fumbled to get off of the bed quick enough as she went after him. She tried to mirror the calm way he walked passed everyone so that no one would stop her and ask her questions about what was going on. If she wasted a single second she knew this could end badly, really badly.

Once he was outside he had started moving quickly again. She had to run to keep up with him. They both spotted Merle at the same time but Martinez was already way ahead of her. She yelled for Merle, hoping to at least warn him but Martinez was already there and the second Merle turned towards her voice Martinez punched him hard in the jaw. The two of them went wild. Merle didn't even bother to ask what the hell it was about. He was just acting on pure instinct and Beth knew if she didn't try and step in, they would never stop.

She rushed over to them. They were both on their feet again. As Merle pushed Martinez away, she stepped between them before either of them could throw another punch. Martinez had already began to throw a punch but he managed to swing away before he hit her. All that seemed to do was make both of them even angrier. Merle at the fact that Beth had almost gotten hit and Martinez at the fact that he couldn't believe that Merle felt he had the right to be angry.

"Would you to stop it?!" she practically yelled.

That made them both stop but they were still clearly very angry.

"You _ever_ touch her again and I swear to God I'll cut off your other hand!"

"What the fuck are ya goin' on about now?" Merle growled.

"It was just a kiss," Beth said as she pushed against Martinez's chest, trying to keep the two of them apart.

"_Oh_," Merle laughed. "I get it. Jealousy ain't a good look for ya."

"You stay away from her, Dixon," Martinez warned.

"_Stop it_."

It came out in such a desperate and pleading tone that the pair of them actually stopped completely and looked at her. She hated that it was her weakness that finally made them stop and not her strength, but the pair of them were no longer fighting, instead they were both too busy looking at her.

"You're talkin' like I'm gonna hurt her," Merle mumbled. "I ain't like them."

"You could have been," Martinez argued. "That's the difference. You almost were."

"She forgave me for that," Merle snapped. "It ain't none of ya business."

"_She's_ my business, from that first moment she became my business."

Beth stared at them both. "Are you both seriously arguing over the fact that you _both_ care about me? Last time I checked Martinez didn't want to kiss me but Merle you did. You both clearly want different things and to go down separate paths but in the end they both involve me. I don't get what your problem is."

They both looked at each other. "She ain't wrong," Merle mumbled. "Ya ain't gotta like me but if I didn't care about her I would've told everyone in there everythin' she won't. I've got no reason to be nice to her, I just chose to."

"Do you really need us both?" Martinez asked her hopefully.

"Sorry to disappoint, but yes, I need you both." She looked between them. "You've got no one to blame but yourselves really so deal with it or I'm done with the pair of you."

As they both studied her they knew she was lying. She looked terrified at the prospect of losing the pair of them but putting her through constant fighting would be just as bad, so when they looked at each other they seemed to make a truce. They both knew that she had them trapped. Martinez was always going to automatically take on that role of protecting her and being there after something went wrong, and Merle was always going to be the one to go in fists first but still be the comfort she needed and the most unexpected times. She had them both wrapped around her finger so in the end they shook on their promise to get along and stick together, for her.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	31. Chapter 31

**WARNING: **This is where it all finally hits Beth. This is that moment in her tragic story where the true realisation of what happened finally hits her. I have to say she doesn't take it too well at first so there is a tiny bit of self-harm and self-hatred.

A/N: _Also, there is Meth in this chapter. Not as hardcore as I know some of you want but a heck of a lot more than we've had so far. Just think, from now on it's only more and more with them._

**There's a bit in italics which is a small flashback.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

Beth gasped for air as she found a secluded spot away from the prison. There were so many areas on the grounds that were untouched but it took her so long to find one. The one she did manage to find was right against the fence. The grass was overgrown and even the walkers were scarce here. She laced her fingers through the chain link fence and gripped to tightly. She hadn't slept well the past few nights and it was catching up on her. Merle and Martinez were both trying to get along. Martinez would sit, lay, walk or stand with her all throughout the day. In the early hours of the morning or late at night Merle would lay with her in her cell or they would sit outside. He never kissed her unless she kissed him first but he always made an effort to hold her hand or wrap his arm around her as she pressed herself into his side.

But things were getting worse. Beth could feel herself ready to snap. The feeling of _him_ rushed through her even if she only closed her eyes for a mere moment. She felt sick to her stomach and disgusted with herself. Her mind was going wild and she just knew the craziness was seeping to the surface and soon it would be too destructive to hide.

"Hey, _hey_."

She tried to catch her breath as Merle wrapped his arms around her and brought her back to his chest. He kept whispering to her, reminding her that it was him. Eventually Beth calmed down enough to not think so wildly, to remind herself that she was safe, especially now. She concentrated on Merle's breath on the back of her neck and the absence of one of his hands.

"I'm okay," she said after a moment but her voice was still shaky.

"Take ya time," he told her, knowing she would rush. "Just breathe."

"I'm so tired," she mumbled, the tears spilling over. "I just want to _sleep_."

"Then sleep, I'll be here."

"I can't, I can't close my eyes, it just... I hate how scared I still am."

"Angel, you ain't got nothin' to worry about," Merle assured her, rubbing her arm with his hand.

That only made her hurt more. She _knew_ she had nothing to worry about, that she was safe, especially with him, but she still worried and these nightmares still affected her. She was stretched too thin and eventually she was going to snap.

"Concentrate," he whispered to her. "Focus on the movements but match them to my voice."

She focused on the way his hand rubbed against her arm and her first thought was instantly that her nightmare had come true, that she was back to that again. But then she zoned in on Merle's voice and the two actions blended together. She did this whenever the very thought of human contact began to terrify her. Merle would hold her and make her aware of his actions and she would match it to his voice, to remind her that it wasn't always bad intentions.

"No one takes away my angel," he told her softly.

She turned in his arms. The word '_my'_ finally bringing her back down to reality. "I-"

But she was cut off at footsteps. She looked over Merle's shoulder. Her stomach did flips at the sight of Carl running back to the prison. He must have been coming to check on her. She had run past him hastily earlier. She knew in her heart he wouldn't say anything but if someone had sent him to check on her or the wrong person caught him then he might say _something_.

* * *

><p>By the time Beth had pulled herself together enough to go back into the prison it was too late. As soon as she and Merle entered the prison all eyes were on them. Beth caught Carl's eye and he mouthed 'sorry' to her. She knew then that he hadn't intended to tell what he had seen or heard, but somehow someone had gotten it out of him. She looked wearily at them all, waiting.<p>

"You son of a bitch!" Maggie screamed suddenly at Merle, clearly not being able to hold it anymore. She fumbled for some kind of weapon but before she could get one Glenn gripped her hands and told her that it wasn't worth it.

"Bethy, Carl said he saw you by the fence with Merle," Hershel spoke up. "He said-"

"Merle's helping me," Beth cut her father off. "That's all."

"Well it didn't sound like it," Maggie muttered before looking at the others. "He needs to leave."

"It wouldn't be fair to just do it like that," Rick argued. It was more for Daryl's sake than Merle's. "Why don't you wait outside, Merle? Or going hunting. Give everyone a bit of space for a moment."

Merle just looked at Rick like he was stupid but the second he saw that Beth was shaking he knew one of them had to step away. When he caught her eye he gave her a reassuring smile before turning and walking back out of the prison. The second he walked away Beth wanted to call for him to come back. As he walked out completely she started to hyperventilate. She was panicking beyond belief and it didn't look like it was going to stop. She tried to focus on the smile he had given her, the one that promised her he was going to come back but it wasn't working.

As everyone started to get closer Martinez pushed through and reached her first. He put his hands on her hips and she rested her hands on his shoulder. Her nails dug into his skin but he ignored it as he got her to focus on his face. He whispered softly to her, reassuring her that everything was okay. They stood like that until her breathing finally started to settle. As it did she started to cry instead, partly from the humiliation and partly from the pain. Martinez pulled her in for a hug and held her as close as he could.

"I was so stupid," she mumbled against him.

"Why were you?" he asked her. "When were you?"

"Who let's that happen to themselves? Who doesn't fight?"

"_Hey_," Martinez said sternly as he held her away so he could look at her. "What did we tell you? You should _never_ blame yourself for what he did."

"For what who did?" Maggie asked, but they both ignored her.

"I hate myself," Beth sobbed.

"No you don't, you have no reason to," Martinez told her.

"I do, I do!"

She tugged away from Martinez and began to claw at her neck. She clawed at her arms and face as well, trying to tear away that layer, wanting to wash away all the bad things that had happened to her.

"Beth, stop!" Martinez begged as he tried to pull her hands away.

The yelling had attracted Merle who came running back into the prison. He shot Maggie a look, warning her not to stop him as he went straight to Beth. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest as he managed to get her hands away. She tried to fight him but at the sight of blood he fought back harder.

"Let me go," she pleaded.

"I ain't gonna let ya do this to yourself."

"I don't want to feel him on me anymore," Beth cried. "I'm disgusting and I want to make it stop."

"Focus," he whispered softly. "Come on."

"I can't." She started to fight again but she could barely move in his grip.

"You can," he told her sternly. "There ain't nothin' wrong with ya, you're perfect, so come on."

She stopped fighting completely and let him support all of her weight. "I'm disgusting," she said softly.

Silence. Everything was silent and it was deafening. Merle looked at everyone as he held Beth up. Maggie had her hand over her mouth and she was crying. Carol had walked away with Judith and Carl to get them out of the way. Glenn, Rick and Daryl all looked furious but it was Hershel that made even Merle's heart break. He looked completely helpless. They all knew exactly what Beth was going on about and none of them had known that was what she had gone through. Milton, Andrea and Michonne weren't there but he could probably guess their reactions too.

He looked at Martinez. "I'ma take her to her cell."

"I'll talk to them," Martinez agreed. "Stay with her, we can't leave her alone."

"Yeah, I got her," Merle assured.

He hoisted Beth up into his arms and carried her to her cell. He only left her alone for a moment to get the first aid kit. As he did Martinez was already gathering them together to explain what he could.

"He's telling them, isn't he?" Beth said, crying into her pillow.

"He has to," Merle sighed. "Ya ain't up to it yet."

"I'll have to talk now."

"Only when you're feelin' a bit better."

Silence fell between them as he made her get up off of the bed. He sat down on it with the first aid stuff beside him. Between the two of them they got the scratches treated. With every one he saw Merle tried to swallow his anger. She had cut into herself pretty deep. He hated the fact that she would do that to herself, that she felt she needed to.

Once she was treated he got up to get her a clean t-shirt and some jeans. He moved back to sit in front of her. Between the two of them they eased her clothes off until she was just stood in her underwear. She stepped closer to him and he saw her eyes nervously flick to the cell door. It was open but no one was there and most of the entrance was covered with a thin sheet. He looked up at her.

"Ya ain't disgustin'," he said firmly.

"I feel like I am," she muttered, looking down at the ground.

He ran his thumb over a scar on her hip. She had a few scars but all of her bruises were pretty much gone now. A couple remained but they were so yellow now that they were practically on the verge of not being there. Her ribs and the rest of her body were healing up nicely because she no longer looked like she was in pain when she walked or moved.

"I don't think you're disgustin'," he said as he kissed the scar on her hip. "I think you're perfect."

She looked down at him unsure so he ran his thumb over a mark below her left breast, kissed it and repeated that he thought she was perfect. He did this with scars on her arms, scars on her legs and any other marks she had from her time in the Governor's capture. With every kiss and word she began to believe him more and more. Her eyes filled with tears. This was something Merle Dixon would _never_ willingly do unless he meant it.

"You do?" she finally asked, her voice shaky. "You think..."

"Yup."

Suddenly Beth was kissing him and it took them both by surprise. She was still standing so she had to lean down to reach him. She had her hands on his shoulders for support and he tried to behave himself despite the fact that she was right there in front of him in nothing but her underwear. He let the kiss carry on at her pace but as she bit his lip and tried to get closer, he broke the kiss.

"Let's slow down," he told her, making sure to keep her close so that his words wouldn't be taken the wrong way. "Someday."

"When?" she asked.

"You'll know."

Without a word he helped her to put on the fresh clothes. He was gentle with his actions and when she was dressed he pulled her onto the bed. They laid down side by side and he wrapped his arms around her. The laid like that until Beth fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Four days later...<strong>

Beth sat on the chair with her legs tucked underneath her. The last four days she had spoken to the group about everything, letting them know all that had happened not only with Jackson but with the Governor. Today was the day she sat her father and sister down to talk to them properly. She told them everything again and answered all of their questions. Once everything was out in the open they just sat there in silence. She was glad she hadn't gone into much detail because she knew it would have made things ten times worse.

Sharing it all did make Beth feel better. In no way did she feel completely healed but she did feel like a weight had been lifted. Knowing that she no longer had to be careful and secretive helped. It was like it was no longer this dark, disgusting secret. It was a thing that had happened to her and she had her future ahead of her, a future far away from that dark, disgusting thing that had happened to her. She still felt like it was too recent but knowing that no one was looking at her differently and that they were all treating her normally helped her a lot.

"I know I'm not going to magically get better," Beth finally said to break the silence. "I just want everyone to treat me normally like they have been. I know I should have told you all sooner but I didn't think it would help this much."

"Is Merle really helping?" Maggie asked.

"You've seen how he's been lately." Beth smiled softly to herself. "He and Martinez have both been helping me. I need them, Maggie."

"Good thing I agreed that he could stay then."

Beth broke into a grin, the brightest one the three of them had seen from her since she got back to the prison. "Really?"

"Really," Maggie laughed before turning serious. "A few days ago I could have lost you for good if it hadn't of been for him. I'm not saying I'm that happy about what's happening between you two but if he helps you then I guess I need him too."

Beth nodded her thanks before standing up. "I'm going to go for my walk. I think it's helping."

"It's almost dinner so it'll be ready for you when you get back," Hershel told her softly.

Beth gave him a small smile as she headed outside. The second the fresh air hit her she breathed it in. It had only been four days but with everyone not treating her differently and having a routine it helped. Part of her new routine was to go for a walk every day and to at least go outside when things got too tough. Helping to get rid of the walkers at the gate helped to get out any anger that bubbled to the surface and Merle sleeping in her cell was helping to get rid of the nightmares.

Over the last couple of nights alone they were fading. Whenever she did start to have one she would capture Merle's voice. Her nightmare would light up brightly and suddenly she would be curled up on a couch with Merle, a blanket wrapped around them as he kissed the top of her head lovingly. She knew they might never go away but she hoped that one day she could fight them on her own.

"Glad they know?"

She stopped walking and spun around to face Merle. "I still get nervous when I enter a room, I still get scared of what they must be thinking but it's a relief to not be holding such a secret."

"How do ya feel?"

"I don't hate myself as much," she admitted, looking at the ground. "Sometimes I still feel... Disgusting. It's nice to know that none of you seem to think it though. It's helping."

"Soon you'll see what we see," he promised her. "I told ya, you're gonna be safe and even the sound of his name isn't gonna scare ya."

_"What was his name?" Maggie asked._

_"Jackson, the one that Merle beat up," Beth said, trying not to let the fear slip through at his name._

_"Good."  
><em>

_She never thought she would hear her daddy say 'good' to someone having been killed but she didn't say a word because her daddy was suffering. That was the only reason she wished they never found out._

"Daddy is suffering," she said softly.

"His little girl got hurt real bad and he didn't even know." He stepped closer to her. "He's angry at himself for not bein' there to protect ya, but you gettin' better will help him."

"I know."

"Good, so don't worry about him, okay?"

"No, Merle, I _know_."

He frowned at her. "You know what?"

"I asked you when someday will be and you said I'll know when it is," Beth said softly, taking a hold of his hand. "I know when it is."

He didn't object right away but she could see it in his eyes. Still, she took a tight grip of his hand and pulled him towards the prison. They managed to get in through one of the entrances undetected. There were a few rooms that had been secured but not dealt with yet. There was an office that must have belonged to the warden so Beth took Merle there.

Inside of the office there was a desk with a chair, some bookshelves, a couple of seats for visitors, a table against the wall and a couch with a blanket over the back of it. Beth dragged him over to the couch and made him sit down as she stood in front of him.

"How do ya know?" Merle questioned.

She could hear the strain in his voice. Their whole time together had been against what Merle was used to. Beth wasn't stupid. He wasn't gentle and he didn't do romance to save his life, but he had, for her. She knew that if things had been different he would have been cruel and just taken what he wanted.

"Because you're so nice to me," she told him honestly. "You're different with me. Everyone says so. When Daryl said it I knew that it was true because who knows you best but you're own brother? Even now that there are more people to look after me, you're still here. I trust you Merle and I want to be with you. I know you don't do romance and you don't do relationships but I want you and I want you to want me. I know you can help me."

He tugged her to sit down on the couch beside him. "Ya sure about that or are ya just guessin'?"

"I already feel so much better with you around, this can't hurt."

"Martinez makes ya feel better by bein' around too."

She crinkled her nose. "That would be like sleeping with... Glenn."

Merle chuckled. "So I ain't got no competition?"

She bit her lip. "No."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Okay?"

Her response was to kiss him back. He pulled away long enough for her to lay back on the couch while he hovered over her. He leaned down to kiss her again. He fought all of his urges as he kissed her softly. When she started to kiss him back harder and even bit his lip, he trailed his hand under her shirt but rested it on her side.

"Okay?" he asked.

She nodded her head so he kissed her once before bring his hand up and taking her shirt with it. She shifted and helped him to remove it. He kissed her stomach before softly trailing kisses up to her breasts. He went right between them to her neck before bringing his hand up to the clasp of her bra.

"Okay?"

This time she arched her back. He fumbled a little but managed to get it undone and away from her. He kissed each breast, his tongue tracing patterns. He watched the goosebumps rise in the wake of his tongue and the way she stayed completely still. His hand trailed down to her jeans where he fiddled with the button and took the zip down.

"Okay?"

She placed a hand on one side of her jeans. He gripped the other side and together they pushed them down and kicked them away.

"Okay?" he asked quickly without even a break.

She wriggled out of her underwear and gripped the end of his shirt. "Okay."

From there everything sped up a little until Merle was hovering over her in nothing but his boxers. He kissed her neck and let out a groan as she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer. From the way her breathing altered he knew that the feel of him against her had shocked her. He tried not to move too frantically, giving her a moment to get used to the idea. He moved away to tell her it was okay but his breathing hitched when he saw her eyes were closed and she was biting her bottom lip softly. Ever since their first kiss she had never closed her eyes, she would tell him she was afraid she would forget it was him and lash out, resulting in him getting hurt. _She trusted him_. As that thought dawned on him he knew then that he was in this for life.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	32. Chapter 32

**WARNING: **_so there are flashbacks throughout this chapter that expands/elaborates the scene at the end of the last chapter, if that makes sense. It's not overly detailed and it's split up so I really don't want to call it smut, but I'm warning ya'll anyway._

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><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

Merle laid on his back. Beth was lying half beside him and half on top of him, wedged between him and the couch. He half expected her to cry or freak out but with every minute that passed her breathing evened out and she just laid peacefully across his chest. It felt like they had been there for hours but they both knew it couldn't have been that long otherwise someone would have found them by now.

"I'm cold," Beth finally said.

Merle looked at the blanket on the back of the couch, it was riddled with dust. "We best be gettin' back before someone comes lookin'."

"That's not what I meant," she mumbled against his skin.

His hands traced patterns on her lower back, sending them both back in a haze.

_Beth's eyes stayed completely closed as she felt Merle wriggle away from her. He was only gone for a moment before he was back, this time completely naked. His hand was beneath her, pressed against her back. Her breathing hitched but she focused on things that made Merle, Merle. The missing hand, the roughness of his skin, and so on. Each thing made her feel safer and safer. The more of Merle she consumed the better it made her feel._

_"Okay," he whispered into her ear._

_But this time it wasn't a question._

"Come on," he said, nudging her. "You've gotta get up before I can."

Reluctantly she got up and stepped away from the couch. She found her clothes from the pile on the floor and began to pull them on. She tried to tame her hair as best as she could hoping that nothing about her would give them away. Once she was confident everything about her looked good she turned around to face Merle.

Her whole face heated up at the sight of him. He was standing now, stretching his arms above his head making his body crack and pop in various places. She bit her lip and looked down at the ground, becoming very aware of him.

"Are ya blushin'?" She could just hear the smile. "Well ain't that funny."

_She thought this would be when she would say no but as Merle pushed into her all she did was open her eyes to really look at him. She had trusted him enough to keep her eyes close, to really concentrate on everything she was feeling but at the sight of him Beth wished her eyes would have been open. She knew what guys looked like underneath it all and how they could differ but she had never seen Merle like this before._

_There was muscle but not like she had expected from the way his clothes made him look. His muscles were subtle and equally defined. There were marks all over him, some that seemed to mirror her own. She realised then just how broken he must have been at one point, how broken he could still be. He was looking at her then and she blushed. Her eyes darted down between them and blush deepened._

_He kissed both of her cheeks with a soft chuckle before he began to move._

"I'm sorry," she said, the blush deepening.

"Nah, it's a good thing." He shuffled around for his clothes. "It's the kinda reaction I was hopin' for."

She looked up at him. He was at least in his boxers and putting on the rest of his clothes. "It is?"

"As long as you weren't kickin' and screamin' about how much ya hated me, then I'll take everythin' else."

"Merle..." She stepped closer to him. "You're stuck with me. I know this isn't some miracle cure but for the first time when I feel a hand on my thigh or lips on my neck, I don't automatically assume that it's him, I think of you and I get butterflies instead of feeling sick."

Merle wrapped an arm around her and brought her to him. He kissed her long and hard. "Guess you're stuck with me too then."

The two of them parted and when they were completely sure with how they looked they left the room. They tried to be careful but also subtle as they made their way through the prison. They managed to avoid running into anyone until they reached the cell block. They didn't look to each other as Beth went to see if anybody needed help and Merle went to sit out of the way.

Judith had already been fed so that meant Rick and Carl had eaten. The two of them were now keeping Judith occupied while Carol plated up her dinner. Andrea and Michonne had already had their dinner so they went outside to take watch while Maggie and Glenn came inside to eat. Hershel and Milton had also already eaten but Martinez and Daryl hadn't. So Beth helped plate up food for all of those who hadn't eaten yet.

"Where did you disappear to?" Carol asked Beth as they worked. "Hershel said something about going for a walk but nobody could see you."

"Oh, really?" Beth said, feigning innocence. "I don't know what to tell you."

"I'm proud of you for speaking up," Carol told her, pushing the conversation along. "I know you didn't really have much choice in telling everyone what happened, but I'm proud of you for embracing it and not hiding away. I know it takes a lot of guts. Sometimes even now I start to deny what happened to me back then."

"Does it get better?" Beth asked once they had given out the plates and sat together at their own table.

"Our situations were a little different," Carol admitted. "But I feel a lot stronger now. If I hadn't of bonded with everyone here or if Ed was still around then maybe it would't have gotten better. I'd say your odds are pretty good at surviving this."

"I'll be so happy if I end up like you," Beth said softly. "You're one of the strongest people I know."

Carol smiled. "Just remember that bruises fade and the scars heal, as you heal all they'll do is remind you that you survived. They don't talk about it but the Dixons have scars too. They fear them but they don't let them get in the way of now."

"And the memories? The feelings?"

"The memories will fade, they won't go completely but they do fade away," Carol assured her. "As for the feelings. I relive it sometimes, in my weakest moments but there are so many good feelings I have now that they become blurs."

"I'm glad you all came to the farm," Beth told her, momentarily reaching over to touch her hand. "Things could have gone a whole lot worse during the fire and afterwards. I miss the people we lost but we're better now because of all of you showing up that day."

The two woman sat in silence as they finished their dinner. Beth added their conversation to the collection of things she wanted to remember if things ever got too much again. She wanted to have so many good and inspiring things piled up that she would never have any fear of running out.

* * *

><p>Beth took off her boots and socks so she could wriggle her toes against the grass. "I never really appreciated grass before."<p>

Martinez was laid out beside her. His head down by her feet. His arms were behind his head like a pillow and his eyes were closed, but at Beth's words he opened them. "Excuse me?"

"I grew up on a farm but I never appreciated something as simple as grass," Beth elaborated, giving her toes another wiggle. "I guess I was too busy focusing on the flowers and the trees and the animals. The grass seemed insignificant."

"So you like grass now?"

Beth chuckled. "You make me sound crazy."

He closed his eyes and put his head back properly again. "You are crazy."

"I just like the feel of it," Beth said. "It helps me to remember some of our old world."

"It wasn't that long ago when you really think about it," Martinez said, eyes still closed. "The world we live in now is so young compared to the world we had without this... _Issue_."

He was right. They had more time without the dead walking around, it was just hard to remember such times. "It's funny. Half of the people I rely on and call family, I probably would never have met them if it wasn't for the world going to Hell."

"We probably wouldn't be friends," Martinez mused. "I mean, if I hadn't of been one of the good guys in what happened your daddy would have shot me for even trying to be your friend."

"My daddy is not as protective as everyone makes out," Beth said as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh," Martinez said as he stated getting up. "I guess you won't mind if I tell him about you and Merle."

"Whoa there," Beth said as she reached up and tugged at his shirt so he fell back onto the grass. "Now who's crazy?"

"Beth, I need you to promise me that he's helping you." He sat up properly and moved closer to her. "Because I will never be able to live with myself if he hurt you."

"I know what I'm getting myself into," Beth assured him. "I know the risks."

Before Martinez could ask what those risks were or what she was getting herself into, he spotted Merle a little way off, watching them. "Speak of the Devil."

Beth looked over her shoulder. The second she laid eyes on Merle she couldn't help but smile. With a glance back at Martinez he just rolled his eyes and nodded to her. She gave him a brief hug before getting up and as casually as she could muster, walked over to where Merle was. When she got there she just twisted round to face the same direction he was looking in and smiled. She could just tell he was glancing her way but she never looked back.

_As their eyes locked everything really hit Beth. Merle was looming over her and essentially had her pinned to the bed, but she didn't worry. In fact, she felt safe. The way they moved together but he seemed to take the lead, only made her feel safe but also in control. Although his face was a picture of concentration she could see that he was watching her, careful of what he could and couldn't do._

_She was like that too. Afraid that something would set her off and the whole moment would be ruined, but Beth fought to focus on the now. Whenever she lost Merle's face in the shadows she would concentrate on what she could feel, when those feelings betrayed her she focused on the noises and the way her stomach knotted in what could only be described as one of the best feelings she had ever had._

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	33. Chapter 33

**Important A/N: **This story will probably have between 36 and 40 chapters. If there is anything that you desperately want to see then please let me know in a review or by PM so that I can add it in. After a certain point I won't be able to because I want to pre-write them so I can give you all fair warning of what is the last chapter, so make sure to let me know if you really want something in this story! Everything is sort of becoming a lot happier and more lighter so there is Meth related stuff in pretty much every chapter from here on out. But yeah, make sure to let me know and I hope you guys enjoy chapter 33! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 33<strong>

Midnight.

No nightmares.

Beth opened her eyes, surprised that for once she was waking up due to not being able to sleep instead of out of fear. Her eyes scanned the cell as she listened out. No one inside of the prison was awake. She sat up on her bed with her back against the wall and looked up at the top bunk. From here she couldn't tell if Merle was up there. All of his watches were during the day at the moment so he was in her cell at night. Whenever he couldn't be, Martinez would stay in there with her.

"Wanna talk about it or should I go back to sleep?"

"It wasn't a nightmare."

A moment later Merle poked his head over the side and looked at her. "Well, that's different."

"If I pretend it was one would you come down here and sit with me?"

In one movement he was gone but in the next he was swinging himself over the edge of the bunk and onto the floor. Beth grinned as he climbed onto the bed beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"Apparently you've gone soft," Beth commented.

Merle scoffed. "Says who?"

"People," Beth shrugged as she drew patterns on the palm of his hand with her finger. Her head was on his shoulder and one of her legs was thrown over his.

"Well people need to mind their own damn business."

"I like that you can be soft," Beth told him quietly. "It makes me feel special."

"That's 'cause I ain't like this with anyone else."

"Are you saying that I have a hold over you, Mr Dixon?"

She wriggled away and moved to straddle him. As her hands rested on his shoulders he looked up at her, smirk firmly in place. Beth took that as a 'yes' as she leaned down and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closer as he gave just as much as she did.

Their kisses were frantic. Merle couldn't hold in the groan that bubbled up as Beth bit his bottom lip before pushing her tongue to his, teasing, inviting. He kissed her back just as hard, his hand tangling in her hair.

"Beth," he breathed.

"Shut up," Beth muttered between kisses.

"Woman, I-"

But she never heard the rest of his sentence as she kissed him harder, effectively shutting him up.

* * *

><p>Beth couldn't stop touching her lips as looked after Judith. All she really had to do was sit back while Judith played on a blanket with her toys. She preferred this job because she loved being with Judith but also it was an easy job that didn't require too much effort, especially seen as she was up pretty early. Not that she regretted getting up that early after the morning she had with Merle.<p>

Constantly touching her lips and biting the bottom one made her feel giddy and almost child like, but as a whole that only made her feel _better. _It made her feel so good. Her stomach kept knotting and her heart kept twisting, but all in good ways. She knew that sooner or later Merle would get sick of the giddy, girl-in-love kind of relationship or at the very least he would want less of it. For now though, him being surprisingly gentle with her was the one of the biggest helps.

"Beth?"

She glanced up to see Carl standing there. "Oh, hey."

"Can I?" he asked as he motioned to the ground around her.

"Feel free."

He dropped down so that he was sitting beside her. "I didn't meant to tell them what I saw and heard between you and Merle."

"What exactly did you hear and see?"

"Well a bunch of stuff, like him calling you 'angel'," Carl explained. "But the way he was holding you, I just... I was going to talk to you first, but dad could tell something was wrong and when I said I needed to talk to you your dad and Maggie made me talk."

Beth looked down at the grass. Everyone knew that there was something between them but no one knew what that something was or how big it was. "Don't worry about it. He helps me, I know it might seem strange considering everything, but I'm better with him here."

"And that Martinez guy, right?"

"Yeah, him too," Beth agreed. "They both really help me. It's not like you guys don't, it's just they knew what happened to me and they were there."

"I'm sorry that all happened to you," Carl told her softly. "I know I've not been the greatest to live with lately but I still care and I'm sorry."

"Don't." She looked at him, smiling. "While I was in there I wondered where you guys were but I was happy you hadn't come because it meant that none of you would have to go through what I went through. That would have really damaged me."

"You seem a lot stronger now, a lot braver."

Beth glanced at him then. It was almost impossible for her to hide her shock. Stronger? Brave? She didn't feel like she had been either of those things. She felt like she had lost control.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, but he was looking to Judith. "You are. I know you had Martinez and Merle but to keep all that to yourself, to have to live with that. In the old world you could have gotten help but even without that you still dealt with it. To me, that's brave."

"Thanks, Carl," she said softly, tears coming to her eyes. "That means a lot to me."

"I see the way you pause when you come to a room or the way you look worried when somebody comes to talk to you."

"I guess I'm worried about how you guys might be around me, like my dad, he's not dealing so well."

"He's angry," Carl told her. "He's angry that he didn't know how bad things were, he feels like he should have known."

"When I feel like I'm back to my best then I'm going to talk to him properly, make him understand," Beth explained. "I'm hoping that by seeing me getting better he'll feel okay again."

"Everything will be okay," Carl said.

"You know, this is the best I've seen you in a long time," Beth told him. "Not to sound rude but I felt like we were all losing you. I like this side of you."

"Me too," he agreed.

The two of them shared a brief smile before moving over to play with Judith who giggled excitedly at the sight of both them giving her their full attention.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	34. Chapter 34

**WARNING: **Meth training out in the mud and the rain. Nothing too graphic/detailed but yeah, they just can't help themselves. :)

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><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

Dinner that night was earlier than usual. Everything was going good with the group. There had been a few meetings with Woodbury and they were all doing well. Rick, Daryl and Milton always went to them with the others taking turns to go with them. Woodbury as a whole had agreed to the terms. The prison group were helping to train anyone who could use a gun as well as teaching a few others to fight so they could all teach each other to defend themselves. They cleared out all the bad stuff from the Governor's areas and only kept the stuff that would be useful. In a couple of the meetings they had also discussed when to meet in the future among other details. As well as that the walker count outside of the prison fences were stable. There were still a large amount but the number was staying roughly the same making them easier to deal with.

With everything going so well there wasn't really too much to do, so Beth decided to work on getting physically stronger and better at fighting. As she stood in her cell she contemplated on what to wear. All of her long clothes that she could cover up with were too tight or not the most comfortable to train in. Debating about it for ages, she finally settled on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. The shorts were a little long on her and almost reached her knees while the t-shirt was loose and the sleeves reached her elbows. She wasn't as covered up as usual but she didn't feel too out in the open. A few of her scars and other marks were on display and she tried to remind herself that they were not her fault and that nobody was going to judge her for it.

Even so, as she left the cell she kept her head down and left the prison at a reasonable speed. When she got outside she found a patch of grass round the side of the building near where they kept the cars parked. She started by stretching her body out. She took her time with it. Making sure to stretch and warm up properly. When she was done with that she jogged around the immediate area. When she was done jogging she practised throwing a few punches and even some kicks. She felt stupid attacking thin air but she forced herself to remember that in the long run it could only help.

As she worked it started to rain but she only pressed herself further. She knew it would be safer to go inside but she wanted to finish what she was doing. The rain wasn't too heavy but it helped to cool her down. She pulled her hair up into an even higher ponytail and continued on with her work.

"Need some help?"

She practically jumped out of her skin as Merle spoke from behind her. She spun around, suddenly realising that feeling she had was embarrassment. "I was just training a little. I want to make sure I'm stronger and able to fight or defend myself."

"That works better if ya train with someone."

She placed her hands on her hips and grinned at him. "_You_ want to train with me?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not." He grinned back at her.

"I wouldn't want to show you up," she said over her shoulder as she turned away from him.

"Oh, bring it on," he told her as he rolled his shoulders and stepped towards her.

As she looked over her shoulder at him she realised that his blade was missing but he looked ready to fight. From the look in his eyes she knew that she had to treat this almost like a real fight, no chickening out when she went to hit or kick him. So as he came towards her she dodged out of the way and turned to face him. She held her arms up ready to defend herself or fight back.

He smirked at her as he darted forward. He threw a punch towards her and as she tried to move backwards out of the way he went to trip her up. As he did she grabbed onto his shoulder to get her balance before she pushed down, forcing him forward and allowing her to hold her leg out. He lost his balance and as he hit her leg, he fell forward.

As Merle hit the ground he rolled over instantly. She moved to throw her first kick but he moved suddenly, hitting her legs and knocking her to the ground as well. He moved to pinned her down and as he drew his arm back to throw a punch she got her knee lose and brought it up to connect with his stomach. He groaned and rolled off of her, giving Beth the opportunity to sit on his chest. She grabbed a stick and pretended it was a knife as she held it to his throat.

"If that was an actual blade, then not bad," he mused. "You didn't even have to fight much, just defend. Definitely a lover not a fighter."

She grinned down at him before leaning forward to kiss him. She tossed the stick aside as he brought his hand up to rest on her lower back, beneath her t-shirt. "I'd fight for you."

He looked at her, his eyes sparkling as he flipped them round so that she was lying in the mud and he was on top of her. "At this rate ya might need to, anyone sees us like this and they might rethink me bein' around ya. There's suspectin' somethin' might be goin' on and then there's seein' it."

"At this rate I couldn't care less." She pushed at his chest, knocking him to the side. "But if you're that worried."

Before he had a chance to respond she was up and running towards the parked cars. She could hear him get up and come after her. She turned to go across the front of one of the cars only to come face to face with him. He must have come around the opposite side. He grinned at her and she turned to run back the way she had come. She didn't get too far before Merle grabbed her from behind. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off of the ground. She started laughing. He put her down but held her close and wiped the mud from his hand onto her face.

She gasped and tried to hit him but he had her pinned. When she did get lose she spun around and pushed against him, forcing him back against the side of the car. The rain had pretty much stopped now but she was still wet enough to allow some of the mud to slip from her face. She gave him a stern look but he only grinned back at her.

"You look good," he told her, his hand tugging at one of her belt loops. "Never seen ya show so much skin."

"I figured I have every right to, no matter how I look now."

"I think ya look great."

And she could see that he did. He was looking her up and down, licking his lips as he did. She kicked his feet, nudging his legs apart so she could stand between them. She leaned into kiss him. She became painfully aware of how hard he was before she even reached his lips. His grip on her was tight and she could feel him against her stomach.

With her hands on his shoulders for support Merle managed to lift her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he folded his arms beneath her to keep her up. She kissed him hard. Her tongue playing with his as he walked them over to the truck. He rested her on the down tailgate and stayed between her legs which were still wrapped around him. They rocked against each other, pushing themselves as far as they could out in the open like that.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he mumbled against her lips.

"I wouldn't be like this if it weren't for you," she reminded. "_You_ make me want more."

"One time, was I really that good?"

She pulled away to see that smirk firmly in place. "You made me crave human contact instead of pulling away from it. With you I forget everything and my mind becomes clouded by all the good I feel from kissing you and touching you."

He kissed her neck as he rocked his hips against her. "And what about when _I_ touch _you_?"

"That works too," she gasped. "_But-_"

"Don't worry," he said as he kissed her lips. "I ain't about to put on a show for no one, ain't gonna let no one see ya that way except me."

"Does that mean..."

"You're _mine_."

Her heart practically stopped as the butterflies attacked her stomach. "Merle..."

"You're right, I don't do romance or relationships but the thought of ya with anyone else makes my blood boil," he told her. "I wanna hit somethin' whenever that thought enters my mind."

"I only want you," she promised him.

"Too bad ya family ain't gonna like it."

She couldn't deny that. They hadn't really been happy about Jimmy either. Beth knew it was to do with the physical side of their relationship, but even the good mannered, no kind of criminal record, never got into any sort of trouble Jimmy had trouble proving himself.

"I don't care," she said, and when her voice didn't waver she smiled.

"Good, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere."

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	35. Chapter 35

**Important notes at the end!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 35<strong>

Beth stood in front of the group. It was about a week later and there was a lot she needed to say. She decided to split it all into categories to make it easier. Once she was sure what she needed to say and what she should say, she called everyone in to the main area of the cell block for a quick meeting.

"Okay, so I've asked you all to come here because there's a few things I need to get off of my chest."

No one said anything so she continued on.

"First of all I want to tell you all how much it means to be that you've been patient with me and that you all risked your lives to bring me back." Beth smiled at every one of them. "I know it didn't work out but I appreciate all that you went to. I've told Carl this but I'm glad you didn't succeed because if what happened to me happened to any of you then I would never be able to forgive myself."

They all looked at each other. It was clear that if they had ended up in her situation they wouldn't blame her for it, but let her carry on without interrupting.

"I want you all to know that I struggled to handle it all, especially when I got back here but since it came out what really happened I feel a million times better." Beth glanced to Martinez and then Merle. "I'm doing a lot to help me move on. I want you all to know that none of this is any of your faults. None of you could have known, I tried to make sure you didn't. So none of you should think you failed me. Especially you, daddy."

Hershel glanced up at her. "You're wrong. A father should know."

"You knew something was wrong, you and Maggie both did because you kept wanting me to talk to someone," Beth reminded.

"We thought he might have beat you up, we could see that he had," Maggie voiced. "We never thought it went that far though."

"But it's not your fault," Beth told them both. "You didn't know because I didn't want you to. I'm feeling better with every day that passes and although I'll probably always have relapses, I know for a fact that I'm only going to get better."

"I take it you two have something to do with that."

When Beth looked up she saw her father was looking towards Martinez and Merle.

"We don't want to take your job or anything," Martinez spoke. "We just can't turn her away. She's a part of us now and neither of us is going to walk away from her."

"Yeah, she's kind of stuck with us," Merle said, glancing towards Beth.

"I need you all to get on," Beth pleaded. "Because..."

"Beth?" Carol asked softly. "What is it?"

"There were times where the Governor gave me treats," Beth explained softly as she looked down at the ground. "He would allow me to go to the apartment with Martinez. Of course he thought that Martinez was well... Having his way with me, 'causing more damage." There were whispers among the group but Beth waved her hands at them. "That never happened of course. He just let me sleep in a comfy bed or have a bath or just talk to him. He made it easier to cope and stop my mind from getting swallowed up." She looked back at the floor again. "I never had that with Merle in there. I rarely saw him and when I did he was with the Governor. To be honest, I hated him. But then he helped me to escape and he took care of me, even when he got back here to Daryl he continued to help me. He had no reason to, I was nothing to him but now he helps me more than I could ever have asked for."

"Where are you going with this, Bethy?" Hershel asked softly.

She looked to Merle, hoping for some kind of approval. He folded his arms over his chest and nodded to her. They had discussed it over the past couple of days. They were done with sneaking away just to do something as simple as kiss. Beth admired the privacy for when they got a little bit more intimate. He was still gentle and loving with her but he still had a way to make her squirm and call out his name. But for a simple kiss she hated that they had to hide. So they decided they should come clean. When she first suggested it she expected him to change his mind and end things with her but his only response was to suggest that he speak to her dad alone. A man to man conversation but the image of Hershel literally ripping Merle's head from his body terrified her too much.

"I... Merle... We..." She took a deep breath. "I love him, daddy."

"Oh boy," Daryl said as he pushed himself away from the wall. From the sounds of it he had guessed that something wasn't quite right between the pair of them, but from the look on his face he hadn't come to this meeting prepared for such a deceleration.

"Is that right?" Maggie asked but Hershel remained quiet.

"I couldn't get Jackson out of my head," she told them all. "Now I barely think about him or what happened. I'm not asking you to be happy about it, but I'm asking you to deal with it. We don't want to hide."

"I told you there was something big going on," Glenn muttered. "No way they weren't together after what Carl said he saw."

"Don't drag me into this," Carl snapped. "I said he was comforting her and they looked a bit close. Even I could see he was helping her. He terrified me back in our old camp, do you really think I'd down play it if I thought he was a danger to her?"

"Did you know about this?" Rick asked Martinez.

"I didn't ask for details but I knew they kissed and figured it had become more serious," Martinez sighed before looking to Hershel. "But trust me. If he hurts her I'll be in line just like everyone else to kill him."

"Ya'll talkin' like I'm doomed to hurt her," Merle said, speaking up for the first time. "I should've come to you all, especially you, Hershel. I never expected this. I don't care about people, I don't do relationships but she's different. She don't look at me like I'm poison or like I'm the biggest fuck up on the face of the planet. She smiles when she sees me and she gets this bounce in her step whenever she walks towards me and I find myself smilin' back. I ain't sayin' I'm the best choice but you're gonna have to kill me if ya want me away from her."

Hershel looked between the two of them. "Well okay then."

"Wait, what?" Beth questioned, stunned.

"You're eighteen and although I feel like a man Merle's age should know better, the world has changed and we can't afford to be picky with anything," Hershel explained. "If I deny you this then you might not find anyone else. At least not somebody who understands and cares as much as you say Merle does. You're going to have to be patient with us and I ask that you respect that we are all here and we haven't had the time you or Martinez have had to fully adjust to the idea."

"You suspected though?" Merle asked.

"I suspected my daughter would grow attached," Hershel mused. "And I suspected that if Carl was right there had to be more to what he saw."

"Merle and I are together," Beth said, making sure her father and everyone else fully understood. "And you're okay with it? All of you."

"It's none of our business," Carol told her, giving her a soft smile. "The only people who maybe do have a right is Hershel, Maggie and Daryl. Even then, your father's right, you're eighteen now."

"I think you're a stupid," Daryl said and Beth couldn't suppress a chuckle when she realised he was talking to her. "But if you're willing to put up with his ugly mug then there ain't anythin' I've got to say about it."

He might not but Beth caught him giving Merle a look, a warning almost. Her father hadn't taken back what he had said so Beth looked at Maggie, hopeful. "I never said anything when you were fifteen and dating that horrible boy Jason. He couldn't stand me and he was really nasty but I saw how happy you were and as long as you promised to come to me if he did anything bad to you, I dealt with it."

"So you'll come to me if he over steps the line? If he hurts you?" Maggie asked as she looked towards Merle.

"You'll be the first person I come to if anything goes wrong," Beth promised.

"The second she does come to me you better start running," Maggie warned, a growl in the back of her throat.

Beth could see that Merle was fighting not to roll his eyes. "She ain't ever gonna get a reason to come to ya."

Maggie clearly didn't believe him but she nodded her head and opened her arms out towards Beth. The younger Greene moved over to her and they hugged. She hadn't expected it to be so easy but it was hard to argue with the fact that Merle was helping her after recent events. The thought of possibly having to chose was killing Beth and the relief rushed through her at the thought that she didn't have to and might never have to in the future.

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><p><strong>AN: **If how the group reacted isn't what you expected then feel free to read on for an explanation of sorts.****

_okay, so I know a lot of you were expecting everyone to freak out and try to kill Merle but looking over my notes for this story I realised I couldn't do that. In the show Maggie hates Merle because he kidnapped her and Glenn leading to them being beaten and such, but in my story that never happened because Merle never goes after Michonne so doesn't come across them (if you're curious about what else changed check the note at the end of chapter 14). So she doesn't have that. The people from the original Atlanta group know what Merle can be like with drugs and alcohol, that's why Carl says what he does about being scared of him and not thinking he's dangerous now. So yes, the Atlanta people (and those who have heard stories) are a little worried but as far as the group are concerned they might not have gotten Beth back if it wasn't for Merle._

_Hershel is okay with it because of the reasons he said but also because he feels guilty at not realising how badly Beth was hurting so if Merle helps then he wants her to get all the help she needs. But because I don't know how obvious it'll be in the last few chapters, remember that Hershel will always be the protective dad who is constantly keeping an eye on his daughter and even Merle now. As for Maggie she's still going to protective and even a little hard on their relationship, but that hatred for Merle isn't as strong in this story compared to how would be in the show._

_I just know how much you guys were looking forward to them finding out and I know this isn't always how the response of the group is written. Sorry for the long explanation but I wanted to clear it up in case I don't get a chance to. Thanks for reading and I'll try and get the next chapter up soon!_

_R&R_


	36. Chapter 36

**WARNING: **hints/suggestive sex scene towards the end - nothing too detailed, I'm saving that for an upcoming chapter...

**A/N:** Sorry this is so short. My emotions are a little all over the place at the moment and I can't bring myself to add any more (but I wanted to update). I didn't want my upset to seep into this story because I feel this would make it take a big step backwards. Either way I hope you enjoy and I want you all to know that I absolutely adore your reviews and I appreciate every single one them.

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><p><strong>Chapter 36<strong>

"You know, it was pretty shitty of you to bring up Jason."

Beth chuckled but didn't look up as her sister sat down beside her. She kept her head down and continued finishing the last few words on the page before closing the book she was currently reading and setting it aside. It was one they had found on a previous run. Beth wasn't entirely sure what it was about but she needed to do something to not feel completely useless and horrible about having no jobs for the next few hours.

"Yeah, well, it was the truth," Beth told her. "He hated me."

"Hate is a strong word, I'm sure he didn't hate you…"

Beth gave her sister a disbelieving look. "Oh, he did, he was so horrible."

Maggie sighed. "Yeah, well I never saw it."

"Only because he didn't want you to." Maggie raised a brow at her sister and Beth rolled her eyes. "Merle is different. I'm a horrible liar, you'd know if I was lying about him."

"You _were_ a horrible liar, you're getting pretty good at it."

Beth gave her a soft smile. "Well, I'm not lying about this. Jason was good at hiding how horrible he really was because he was horrible to me not you. You never noticed because he was always so nice to you. I'm sure with Merle you'll be different to me and you'll tell me if he's being horrible to you or anybody else."

"But you told me Jason was horrible when you made me promise to come to you," Maggie sighed. "I just never believed you. I thought you were jealous."

"Well believe me now when I say that Merle is a good guy, at the very least he's good for me. We've been through a lot and I'm not about to give up on him, on _us_, now," Beth said. "I'm going to make you the same promise. That I'll come to you if anything happens but you need to promise me that you won't push either of us to breaking point."

From the look on Maggie's face Beth knew that it was going to be far from easy. No matter what Maggie said next Beth had the feeling that Maggie would never be one hundred percent okay with their relationship, but even just sixty, seventy percent would do.

"Only if you promise that I can be the one to snap his neck when – _if _– he does hurt you."

Beth rolled her eyes. "Better give him a chance to say his bit before you do."

"You either have a lot of faith in him or you're too scared of me to say no," Maggie laughed, wrapping an arm around her sister.

Feeling a little relief that Maggie wasn't too serious on her request, Beth laughed. "Daddy would have shot him if the circumstances were different, wouldn't he?"

"I don't doubt it."

"Things are going to get a lot better for us," Beth decided.

"You mean as good as they can get considering the world outside."

"Give it a few years and we'll be living like walker killing pros," Beth said, laughing a little to make light of the situation.

Maggie chuckled a little too because there were very few times where they could make light of the world they lived in.

* * *

><p>"Your sister ain't tried to kill me yet," Merle announced that night when he walked into their cell.<p>

Beth was too busy lingering on the word 'their' that she answered him with too much of a delay. "Yeah, we have an understanding."

"What ya thinkin' about?"

For once she was on the top bunk, just sitting. She had been reading her book which was now chucked aside. Merle came over and leaned on the bars, looking at her expectantly.

"How this is kind of _our_ cell now," Beth said, blushing slightly as she looked down. "I mean, if you want it to be."

Merle chuckled. "I ain't stepped foot inside my own cell in a long time. Be weird if I didn't want this one to be ours."

Beth smiled to herself as she leaned over and kissed him. He pulled himself up onto the bunk when she pulled away and hovered over her as she leaned back to lie down. He covered her body with his own. As they kissed her hands tugged his shirt up enough so that she could trace the lines of his chest with her fingers. At first all he did was smile but as she gently scraped her nails against his skin he hissed.

It was her turn to smile into the kiss. He pulled away long enough to look at her before moving back to kiss her jaw. He made his way down her neck to her collar bone where he stopped just below it. He nipped at her before trailing kisses right back up until he was at her mouth again. He nibbled at her bottom lip before kissing her properly.

This time when she tugged at the bottom of his shirt, she pulled it up all of the way and up over his head. Slowly they undressed each other. With it being so late (hours after everyone inside the prison excused themselves for bed) and with the sheets up, Beth found herself more frantic this time with her movements. The thought of Merle with clothes on suddenly seemed unappealing to her.

And when they were both undressed she wrapped her legs around him and kissed his neck. He got the message pretty quickly and that night they christened _their_ cell multiple times.

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><p><em>R&amp;R<em>


	37. Chapter 37

****IMPORTANT A/N: ****there are 40 chapters in this story which means there are only three more after this one. All of them apart from chapter 40 have been completely written so there shouldn't be too much time between each chapter. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy. :)

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><p><strong><strong>Chapter 37<strong>**

Beth was the first to wake up. She was tucked into Merle's side with her head on his chest. Not only were they tangled together, but the covers were wrapped around them too. Beth grabbed a handful of the covers with one hand and tugged them up a little more. She curled up further into Merle, hugging both him and the covers as she thought about the night before.

The slightest movement made her ache but that only proved to her how amazing it had all been. Her bottom lip was numb and the skin broken slightly from where she had bit down on it when she had no other way to keep herself quiet. A couple of years ago, even a couple of months ago, Beth would have laughed and thought it was some sick joke if she was told that this was her future. That she would be lying in the bunk of a prison cell wrapped around a man who was really her complete opposite in so many ways.

She let her mind wander until she knew for sure that she wasn't going to fall back to sleep. Gently she lifted herself up into a sitting position. She collected what clothes were still on the top bunk and when Merle didn't stir, she climbed over him and got down. When she hit the ground she tugged the covers off the bottom bunk to wrap around her before moving over to her clothes. She put the collected ones in a pile to get washed before dragging out new ones.

While she dressed she kept looking over at Merle, hoping he would wake up but he never did. It was pretty early, the sun had barely risen so she tugged on an over-the-head hoody and pulled the sleeves down over her hands. She took her bottle of water put the tiniest amount in her hands and then did what she could to wash her face before brushing her teeth and rinsing her mouth in the little sink.

As she stepped out of the cell she didn't expect to see anyone but Martinez on one of the stairs. He looked up as she entered the room and grinned. "You're the last person I expected to see up at this hour."

"Why are _you_ up at this hour?" she questioned as she went over to sit with him.

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "That Daryl and Rick are on watch, they've not long gone out actually. Take it you couldn't sleep either?"

"I tried to get back to sleep," Beth said, nodding in answer to his question. "You've got to sleep where you can."

"It was pretty brave you talking to everyone," Martinez said after a moment. "About what happened, about Merle."

"Are you just saying that?" she asked.

He seemed to think about it. "I do think you could do a million times better than Merle, but yeah, I mean it."

Beth leaned her head on Martinez's shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her waist. "I'm glad you two are trying to get on."

"Yeah," he hummed.

She lifted her head up a little to look at him. "What?"

"Nothing," he assured. "This is just not how I expected everything to go. I never expected to be here with you, I definitely never expected Merle to be here. I figured I'd never actually be here to see you break away and win your battle against the Governor."

She put her head back down on his shoulder. "Yeah, well, you're not going anywhere now."

"Trust me, I've already made plans not to go anywhere," he chuckled.

This time she lifted away completely, even wriggling back a little on the step. "What do you mean?"

"When Rick made the plans with the group he gave me, Milton and Merle the choice to go back to Woodbury seen as we knew the place," Martinez explained. "Merle used Daryl as his excuse but I figured you were a big part of it too. Milton's grown attached to Andrea, maybe one day they'll move to Woodbury but for now they're staying."

"And you?"

"Well, I have nothing back there," he shrugged. "They're great people, those who are left, but I have no attachments. You're it for me. For now you're all I have."

"That must suck," she said, smiling a little.

He smirked, looking away. "Ah, you'll do."

She pushed him slightly and he chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her again. "I am sorry though. I'm sure there's more people back there for you than you expect."

"All of my friends worked for the Governor," he explained. " A couple weren't that involved but I spent so much time away from them that God only knows what they must think. We talk when I go on the visits but I doubt it would be right be going back."

"Well I need you, at least for an extra person on my side in arguments."

Martinez chuckled at that. Beth moved so that she was sitting along the step, her back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She leaned her head to the side so it was on his shoulder and finally she was able to fall back to sleep.

* * *

><p>After Beth woke up they were thrown into a busy day. Rick, Daryl and Milton were going to Woodbury. This time around it was Maggie and Glenn's turn to go with them. It was still pretty early when Beth woke up again and the others soon followed. After breakfast and an initial meeting the group packed up and went to Woodbury. With them gone Michonne, Andrea and Martinez went on watch duty. Andrea and Michonne walked the fence while Martinez was up in the tower. Carol stayed out in the grounds with Judith to give them both a bit of fresh air. She half watched the Judith and half prepped the ground to start their little garden up. To give themselves something to do and not get behind on the work Beth, Merle and Carl all worked on random jobs.<p>

In the end Carl ended up helping out Carol. Beth helped them a little too but soon went inside to work on the inventory. Rick wanted everything organised so it was easy to see what they did and didn't have. Merle was outside doing some work on the vehicles so Beth pretty much had the prison to herself. She spread out and made a plan of how she was going to organise everything. When she was sure she moved everything around into different piles.

"Hard at work I see."

In the initial cell block area at the opposite end to the entrance there was a tiny room and there was another room beyond that. She was in that final room where they stored all of their things. She finished putting the last of the food in the right pile, admired her completed work and then turned towards Merle's voice. He was leaning in the entrance way between the cell block and the small connecting room.

She moved out into the connecting room and shut the door behind her. "Well I'm all done now."

"Got this place to ourselves," he noted.

Beth bit her lip as she nodded at him. "That rarely happens."

He hummed a little in agreement. "We should make the most of that then."

She barely had time to nod her head before he was making his way over to her. His arms wrapped around her waist and she barely had time to hold onto his shoulders before their lips connected. He bit her bottom lip, just enough to create that thin line between pain and pleasure without going overboard and it did wonders to Beth's core.

She pulled away to look at him. His pupils were dilated so much that she had trouble seeing the thin line of colour around them. With a small smirk she took his hand and led him out of the room.

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><p>R&amp;R<p> 


	38. Chapter 38

**WARNING: **this entire chapter is pretty much a some what detailed sex scene so if that's not your cup of tea then I suggest skipping this chapter :)

_it feels like it's been forever since I wrote a chapter like this in one of my stories, so sorry if it's not the best in some places._

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><p><strong>Chapter 38<strong>

Merle frowned a little when she dropped his hand and went into their cell alone. He was about to say something or just walk in anyway when she reappeared. She was carrying the covers off of both of their bunks and a couple of pillows. He took the covers from her and threw them over his shoulder, raising a brow at her in question. She just smiled up at him, tucked a pillow under the arm, carried the second in her right hand and took a hold of his hand with her left.

They walked for a little bit before Merle realised she was leading him to the Warden's office. Despite being inside alone she was taking him further into the prison and that only made Merle want to get there quicker. When they did finally get there Beth dropped the pillows onto the couch. As Merle shut the door she grabbed the covers from his shoulder and laid one out on the floor, with the second on top.

As the second one hit the floor Merle wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest. He kissed her neck softly and she smiled to herself, tilting her head to the side slightly to give him better access. He nipped at her neck, hard enough to make his point but soft enough not to leave any sort of mark. His hand dropped a little to her hip. He gripped it tightly and held her back even tighter against him.

Before he got too into it, and while she could still think up a coherent thought, she twisted away from him and took a couple of steps backwards. She kicked off her shoes and he followed suit. He wanted to reach out for her but as she started to undress he let his hand fall back and he watched. Slowly he lost an item of clothing as she lost one or two. He was watching every inch of her. His eyes would dart to every new bit of skin that was revealed until she was completely bare to him.

He quickly discarded what was left of his clothes and immediately closed the gap between them. His lips found hers as he pulled her in close. She walked backwards onto the covers as she kissed him back. She broke away first to get down onto the covers, Merle following after her. Beth sat with her back against the couch, her legs bent up slightly at the knee. Merle settled in front of her on his knees and grabbed her foot, pulling it forward and making her extend her leg out. He kissed from her ankle up to her knee. As he did Beth's entire body relaxed. Her other leg stretched out automatically and she sunk down slightly.

When Merle reached her knee he lifted his body up and moved up to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms loosely around his shoulders her nails lightly scraping at the back of his neck. He kissed her with such force that she already started to feel her lips bruise. She slipped further down and from the angle they were at Merle could feel her breasts against his chest, her nipples so achingly hard that he started to think for a moment that maybe he was too old for all of this.

"You're gonna be the death of me," he told her as he pulled away to catch his breath.

Beth smirked at him before leaning over to kiss his neck. She kissed from his jaw all the way down and back up again.

"Beth?" It came out almost like a strangled groan.

"I'm not scared anymore," she said, her voice hitched slightly but over all she seemed completely behind her words. "I feel safe with you. I don't want to slow down anymore."

She was back to kissing his neck and this time Merle couldn't even begin to think about questioning her. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her shoulder. When she finally lifted her head up to look at him, he moved quickly and tugged her down so that she was lying on the covers properly and he was hovering above her. He shuffled down her body, his hand holding her hip as he stopped at the perfect position to kiss the curve of her neck.

He licked her pulse point making Beth shiver. As she started to curl up at the sensation Merle pushed down on her hip and placed open mouth kisses down her neck and between her breasts. His kisses were feather light as he moved down the centre of her stomach, over her belly button and stopping just below it. His hand left Beth's hip and hooked her knee, holding it up as he kissed her inner thigh.

She tugged at his shoulder pulling him back up to her. Her lips connected with his, her tongue darting out at the right moment. He groaned at the sheer force behind the kiss. Even if he wanted to be in charge Beth was taking over and he really couldn't begin to complain. The heat between them only seemed to make the kiss even more eager.

Beth pulled away and kissed his jaw. As she nibbled on his ear Merle instinctively ground himself against her. His arousal was apparent against her hip and Beth subconsciously twisted her body towards him. Merle grinned as he situated himself properly between her legs. He rested his arm to the side of her for balance and she dropped back to look at him. Beth shivered before her body stopped dead at the feel of him against her entrance. Merle stayed where he was and he rested his forehead against hers.

He looked down at her, waiting, and when she looked up at him he pushed into her.

"_Oh._"

Merle chuckled as he kissed her face. He only moved when she rocked her hips. He pulled back to look at her properly as he slowly pulled out of her and thrust back in again. His pace was slow and deliberate until Beth dug her nails into his back. He smirked at her before pulling out slow and thrusting back into her as hard as he could. From the look on her face it was clear that she wasn't expecting it, so he kept up that pace and then without warning all of his movements sped up.

Beth could barely catch her breath. She gripped the couch above her for support. Her heart was pounding as she looked up to see Merle watching her. As they watched each other, she hooked her legs around him, driving him deeper into her. Everything she was feeling scared and thrilled her all at the same time. This time was different. The coil in her stomach was tighter than ever before and her want for Merle was stronger that ever.

Her entire body was on fire and from the frantic movements from Merle it was clear he was pretty close to the edge too. She moved her arms down so she could grip tightly onto his shoulders as she leaned up and kissed his neck. As all of those feelings began to overwhelm them Beth bit down on Merle's shoulder and he rammed into her hard one last time sending them both over the edge barely seconds apart.

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><p>R&amp;R<p> 


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

Merle laid on his back, his arm propped behind his head and Beth across his chest. She had been asleep for the past hour and he knew he would need to wake her soon. They had dragged the pillows down from the couch, collapsed on top of them and closed their ears. When Merle opened his back up Beth was fast asleep. He had held her closer, too warm to bother throwing anything over them. Plus, he liked looking at her.

Just as he thought again about waking her, she began to stir. "Hmm."

"Angel?"

She smiled against his chest. "I like that."

"What? When I call ya Angel?"

She nodded her head and stretched out a little. "Yeah."

"Well Angel, look at me."

She raised her head to look at him. He put his hand to the back of her head and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was long and slow. Beth's eyes began to water and she lifted herself up a little more to kiss him better.

He frowned at her as he pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Please don't leave me," she started.

His brow creased together as his frown depended. "What are ya talkin' about?"

"I... Nothing," she finished lamely as she got up from the covers and began to move towards her clothes.

Merle scrambled to get up and when he did he grabbed her arm. "Ain't lettin' ya away that easy, Angel. _Spill_."

"I love you," she said meekly. When he just stared at her she hurried on. "I know I said it in front of the group before but I've never said it to you, not properly, and I know you don't do relationships and this is probably too much so forget I said it and let's move on-"

"I love ya too."

"Let's just go back to our lives and continue like normal. This part never happened, the rest of today did because we'll it was amazing but I didn't say what I did because I just didn't." She was flustered and her arms were flailing about in the air. As the last of her words tumbled out she froze. "Wait, you what?"

"Ya heard me, unless ya gonna continue to take back what ya said."

She blushed, realising how exposed they were and how she had just had a mini freak out. "Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Like love, love me?

"Angel." He gripped her chin, making her look right at him. "Ain't like it was a secret or nothin'. Ya think I'd be this gentle if I didn't love ya?"

"Merle Dixon, you do realise this technically makes you my boyfriend now, right?"

His nose crinkled at the word. "The idea sounds great but the word is..."

"Hmm," she mused, a grin forming. "You're my man then."

"Much better," he mumbled as he wrapped an around around her and brought her close.

Merle kissed her. Already starting to feel aroused again the kiss didn't last too long. Figuring they better get back to the group the pair of them got dressed again. Both showing clear signs of what they had been getting up to not that long ago. When they were decent enough Merle gathered up the covers and pillows and Beth led the way out of the room.

* * *

><p>"You look pretty pleased."<p>

Beth bit her lip to stop herself from smiling as she looked over at Martinez. When she and Merle had come back into the cell block it had been empty. So he kissed her once before heading outside while Beth sat down at the table to finish the book she had started. A couple of hours later she had finished it, leading up to this moment where everyone was starting to come inside.

"I just finished my book," she said, motioning to the book in front of her. "It wasn't the greatest so I'm pretty pleased I managed to get through it."

"Pfft, what do you take me for?" He raised a brow at her.

"It's true," she argued.

"Nobody looks that pleased at finishing a book," he said, but she just shrugged at him so he shrugged back. "Well, whatever it is, or _whoever_ it is, I'm glad that you're happy."

"I am," she said, her smile breaking through.

"Aw, now come on," he complained. "You've got to tell me now."

"I think me and Merle are for keeps."

"Yeah, well we knew that."

"Yeah but we've never really spoken about it, y'know? He's always said he isn't leaving, that he's here for me," Beth explained. "But we've never really spoken about how we feel. I know I told you all that I love him but I've never really said it to him. So I did and he said it back."

"And that's why you look like your face is going to split in two?"

Beth blushed, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed. "Sorry, I just really love him. I was so scared that I was getting myself into something that was only ever going to hurt me in the long run. I never thought Merle could love me. Not properly anyway."

"Beth." She looked up to see Martinez looking at her with an amused expression. "I don't want you to be sorry. You deserve someone a hell of a lot better than Merle Dixon but if he makes you happy then I'm nothing but happy for you. I care about you."

She smiled at him but before she could reply a loud giggle from behind caught their attention. They turned around to see Carl and Judith. She was stood up in front of him. Carl was holding her hands and helping her to walk. It would be a long while before she could walk by herself but from the sounds of it she liked the idea of being on her feet.

"Well look at you," Beth cooed as she swung her whole body around to face Judith. She held her arms out. "Come on then."

Judith eagerly tried to walk forward. Carl chuckled as he tried to keep up with her without causing either of them to trip. With a bit of wobbling they got over to where Beth sat. When Beth hooked her hands under Judith's arms Carl let go. Judith wavered a little before being lifted into the air and then dropped down onto Beth's lap.

"Aren't you a clever girl?"

Judith knelt on Beth's lap, gently holding on to Beth's cheeks and she giggled excitedly.

"Yes you are," Beth agreed, holding her hand against Judith's back to keep her steady.

She looked up over Judith's head to see Merle at the back of the group watching her. Her heart stopped but as he gave her that usual smirk her heart sped right back up again. She jiggled Judith on her knee slightly when the little girl tried to get her attention but Beth kept her eyes on Merle. His smirk only got bigger as he raised a brow at her. She just bit her lip and as a smile broke through she looked back down at Judith.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_I was thinking over what I had written and I realised that although they had shown their feelings and even declared their love for other people I couldn't remember them ever out right saying "I love you" to each other... at the very least not when they were fully aware of what they were saying and it wasn't in the middle of Beth having trouble, anyway, the next chapter is the last chapter!_

_R&R_


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: **_Writing a final chapter is always so stressful. I re-read and re-worked this a bunch of times so hopefully the mistakes are incredibly low and this is a chapter that you can all enjoy._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 40<strong>

**One year later...**

Beth sat out on the grass. Her hands stretched out behind her to keep her propped up. She looked over at where Judith was tottering around with Carl. She had not long began to walk by herself but she was loving it. She said a couple of words but only to certain people. Carl was her favourite person and although she settled with other people most of the time she just wanted him. Rick was probably her second favourite person. Countless times Beth had walked into the cell block to see Rick lying across one of the benches with Judith lying on her stomach across his chest until she fell asleep.

Rick was actually not too far away from where Judith and Carl was playing. He was over to the side with Carol and Hershel. They were working on their little garden. It wasn't too big but it grew enough to help them get by and it gave them a little extra to trade with Woodbury. They also had livestock in the form of chickens as well as a couple of horses. They had been trading where they could. There were things that the prison group could get that Woodbury couldn't and vice versa. Woodbury itself was still going strong. More people within the residents knew how to shoot a gun and handle themselves. They had a working community with different people who knew different things. Everyone stayed at the prison but Andrea, Michonne and Milton made a habit of spending a few days at Woodbury whenever they went over to trade.

Other than that the two groups stayed out of each other's way. Martinez never went back either. He picked up old contacts again but never stayed longer than a couple of days at Woodbury. He settled into life at the prison and was getting on fairly well with everyone there. Although she didn't spend as much time with him because of it, Beth was pleased that he was making friends here because it meant that in the long run he would have even more reason to stay. Maggie and Glenn were getting on with him pretty well. The three of them shared watch more often than not so it soon became easy for them to make conversation. As well as them Daryl seemed to get on with Martinez pretty well. The two of them usually smoked together and whenever Merle couldn't go on a hunt Martinez went with Daryl.

They all had their routines. Everyone was healthy and happy. There had been a couple of close calls involving walkers. One time Michonne came back from a trip barely staying on top of her horse after a close call with two dozen walkers. Another time Martinez came back with an arrow in his shoulder from where Daryl had had to shoot him in order to shoot the walker that had grabbed Martinez from behind. There were so many incidents like them and it always put the group in a state of alert until a couple of days had passed with no more incidents. Generally though the prison was pretty safe and running as smoothly as it could.

"Angel."

Beth smiled to herself as Merle sat down beside her. "Yes?"

"What ya doin' all the way over here by yourself?"

"I wanted some peace before tonight," she explained, smiling over at him.

Merle laid back, throwing his arm over his eyes to block the sun out. "Martinez and I are bettin' smokes on how many drinks it's gonna take to get ya hammered."

"Dicks," Beth muttered to herself as she shoved him.

Merle chuckled. "Ya love me."

He peeked out from under his arm to look at her. After a moment she finally smiled, unable to contain it, and shook her head at him. "You're unbelievable sometimes."

"And that's why ya agreed to marry me."

With butterflies in her stomach Beth moved to lie on top of him. Her legs tangled between his as she folded her arms over his chest and placed her head on top of them. Merle's hand came down to wriggle the ring on her finger. It wasn't that Merle didn't like the ring but he wanted to get her something better. The one she had was a thin silver band. He had used it for the initial question and if she said yes he was going to get her another one. Beth, however, was pretty determined to keep the silver band and always pushed away the subject of getting a nicer ring.

"I don't see why we need to have an engagement party today though," he mused, changing the subject before he told her that he could probably find her another ring, maybe at Woodbury. "Ain't like it's gonna be a long time before we have the weddin'."

"So you still want to marry me?"

He put his head back, putting his arms behind his head for support. "Ya keep askin' me that and I'm gonna start thinkin' you're about to walk out on me."

"I just like checking." She grinned. "I like reminding myself that it's actually happening."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three Weeks Previously<br>**_  
><em>Beth gave up asking what was going on and just let Merle drag her outside. He took her to the spot that they had been working on in recent weeks. Seen as the group liked to spend their time outside they wanted something a lot prettier than walkers to look at. So near the garden they planted some flowers. All different colours and all different kinds. They also put a couple of benches near the flowers. Even though it still needed work t was was Beth's favourite place. They had some books from Woodbury so she always took one out to that spot and sat for an hour or so at a time.<em>

_When Beth realised that was where they were going it only confused her more. Merle didn't really care too much for it so he wasn't here for himself but he hadn't done anything wrong so he wasn't here to make it up to her either. She couldn't figure it out so she just sat down on the bench when he motioned towards it. He walked around for a moment, just looking at the flowers. She watched him for a long time._

_"Merle?"_

_"Yeah, Angel?"_

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Why should somethin' be wrong?"_

_"I'm scared."_

_"Why are ya scared?"_

_He was still looking at the flowers. Although Merle had done nothing he needed to redeem himself for, he had been a bit distant lately. Whenever he had bad news he made sure Beth was somewhere safe. Even after all this time he never wanted to break her. When Martinez came back with an arrow in his shoulder and a lot of blood missing Merle took her to the warden's office so she wouldn't see, when some of the group went missing for a few days during a run he took her to that spot by the parked cars where he said she was his in order to break the news that it wasn't looking good. He always brought her somewhere she could feel safe and in control._

_"Because although my life is a lot better than it was a year ago, I'm prone to bad news."_

_This time he finally looked away from the flowers and he crouched down in front of her. He took her hand in his, kissed it once and then placed it on her knee. Her heart was going crazy. She was anticipating her worst and that feeling was only growing. She was about to push him away and run. Bad news was something she always dealt with because Merle was there afterwards to comfort her but if he was the bad news then he couldn't comfort her. She felt sick, but then he dropped down further, this time onto one knee._

_"It's okay, Angel."_

_She looked up at him. Suddenly all that fear slipped away. The words didn't reassure her but the way he smiled at her did. She watched as he reached behind him into his back pocket. Her heart was going out of control for a completely different reason as he pulled out the tiny box. It was beat up and pealing but he still held onto it like it was the precious thing in the world. Slowly he held it out to her and nodded his head in encouragement to her. She gingerly laid her fingers on the top of the box and opened up the lid._

_Her breath caught at the ring inside. A slim, silver band. There was nothing particularly impressive about it but Beth couldn't tear her eyes away. To her it was probably the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It wasn't too much. Without hesitation she picked it out of the box and studied it closer. She then placed it on her ring finger, suddenly realising it had been her left hand that he had picked up earlier. When the ring was in place she held her hand up to look at it._

_"I'll take that as a yes," he chuckled placing his palm against hers and lacing their fingers together before letting go again._

_She nodded vigorously, and to her shame, a little desperately. "I thought you were going to break up with me."_

_"Well now ya know I ain't ever gonna leave ya."_

* * *

><p><strong>Present Day<strong>

As the engagement party drew closer Beth slipped away to her cell in order to get dressed. Really all that was going to happen was that there would be alcohol (as well as other drinks), some food and pretty decorations. A few people from Woodbury were here for it because they arrived a couple of days before on the usual trade day. Instead of going back the same day they decided to stay a couple of extra days to enjoy the party. There wasn't enough of them to cause those back at Woodbury any inconvenience. Two of the people coming offered to help with the watch rotations so everyone could have a bit of fun. A young boy they were travelling with also offered up his skills as a guitar player so they could have some music.

Beth sought him out because she was thankful that she was required for most of the entertainment, she loved to sing but tonight was supposed to be about spending time with Merle and everyone else, not standing to the side singing all night. She found out his name was Will. His boyfriend Andy and Andy's mother had been killed only days before he came across Woodbury leaving him completely alone until he made friends with a small family. The father of the family, Gordon, was one of the people coming to the party. Beth had never stepped foot back in Woodbury since she followed the group that time but Will might be just one reason for her to go. Carl had made a ton of friends over there and it was probably her turn to socialise a little while she still could.

Feeling good about the fact that there was now entertainment she actually made an effort on what to wear. For a while she dug through the clothes that were in a decent enough state. The first thing she found was a pair of jeans. They were form fitting without being too tight. She tugged them on and continued to fish through for a top. Eventually she found one that she liked. It was light and a little baggy on her. It had horizontal stripes in a pale orange shade and white. The sleeves were three quarter length and t-shirt stopped just where the jeans began. Once she pulled on her boots she tied her hair up into a high ponytail. She could have dressed up but really when there was always a chance of something going wrong out there she didn't want to be forced into any situation wearing a dress or a skirt.

Once she was done she stepped back enough to see most of herself in the tiny mirror above the sink. Over the past year almost every reminder had gone. She still had a few scars, including the one in the palm of her hand and the ones around her wrists from the handcuffs but mostly there was no physical sign that anything had happened to her. Because of this Beth made a habit of really looking at herself in the mirror whenever she got dressed so that she could remind herself that she was the stronger person and she won. And she did. Apart from being too scared to go to Woodbury or being too scared to leave the prison alone, Beth never had another nightmare and she never even gave what happened more than a moments thought.

With a satisfied smile she made her way outside. While it was still light they were going to stay outside then when it got darker they would come inside. Will played guitar a few times while they were outside and Beth did sing a couple of times to give some variety. For the most part it was probably the most relaxed the group had been all year. It made Beth even more excited for the day of the wedding. She spent a lot of her time with Merle, even getting him to dance with her a couple of times. She didn't mingle too much until they headed inside where the spacing was a lot more intimate.

Before she went inside she spoke to Michonne and Andrea who were going to swap with Maggie and Glenn on watch. She found them getting ready to climb the tower stairs.

"Y'know, Dixon is the last person I expected you to marry," Andrea said once Beth reached them. "But even I have to admit, he's changed a lot since our small camp way back when."

Beth never argued with these kind of comments. She knew that some of the group had experienced the old side of Merle. The racist. The drug user. The alcoholic. He wasn't like that now though. The racist side was definitely behind him and so were the drugs. He did still drink and only a couple of times in the past year resulted in him getting too drunk. However almost all of the time he was able to say no to a drink or handle what he did drink. For the most part he worked out, spent time with Beth or smoked instead for outlets. She also didn't argue with such comments because their relationship wasn't perfect. There had been a few times in the past year where they had fought or fallen out for a little bit. It never lasted more than a day, maybe two but Beth could see their imperfections so she accepted it when someone brought them up or showed shock at her sticking with him.

"Yeah, he has," Beth agreed. "I'm glad that you can all seem to see it."

"You would know if we couldn't see it yet," Michonne commented, after a moment offering a smile.

Beth smiled at them. "I just wanted to thank you guys. I know it was a big decision to stay here instead of going to Woodbury and I want you both to know that I'm glad you did choose to stay."

"So are we," Andrea agreed. "And I know Milton is happy he stayed too. This is not the most luxurious choice but it's home."

Beth moved closer and hugged them both. As she pulled away she offered them both a smile over her shoulder as she headed over to where the Woodbury people were gathering. Gordon was there with two other guys. One of them, Rodger, was a mechanic back in the day. He always came on runs and trips in case anything happened to the cars. When he started coming on the runs he also started training some of the residents to fix stuff in Woodbury while he was gone. The second guy was Stan. He was pretty skilled with a gun and a blade but he wasn't too hot-headed. He had a little girl and a wife. The latter he actually met after the dead started walking about. Beth had spoken to them a little while they had been here, especially Gordon after Will introduced them.

"Hey," Beth called to them as she got closer.

The three of them turned offering a soft smile. They knew what had happened to her right under their nose and every time she met someone new from Woodbury she always got that guilty look from them. That usually followed with her insisting that she was fine and that they had no way of knowing, both of which were true.

"Hey, kid," Gordon said, still smiling at her. 'Kid' is what he started calling her from the moment they were introduced. From him it didn't sound condensing, it just seemed like a habit.

"I wanted to thank you guys for sticking around," Beth told them. "I know it was your decision and I wouldn't have gotten to meet Will or have him play here tonight if it wasn't for you guys."

"He needs a bit of a pick me up," Rodger shrugged. "He lost a lot before he met us."

"His parents," Gordon said. "That was just before everything went to hell."

"He told me about Andy and his mother too."

Stan nodded. "Well, he's smiling a lot. We're glad we stayed. And we know how you feel about Woodbury but it's _our_ home now so if you ever do need somewhere to go..."

"I appreciate that," Beth nodded slowly. Before adding, "maybe I'll tag along on one of the trade days."

They all gave her a satisfied smile before they headed off to walk the fence and she headed inside.

The first people she found were Rick, Carl, Judith, Carol and Milton. She made her way over to where they were all gathered. Party or not they were still be strict on their food so they didn't run out. Carol, Rick and Milton were sorting out the food set aside for the night and the drinks while Carl amused Judith. She caught Milton first as he moved some things about. Beth waited for him to finish what he was doing.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to how amazing your voice is," Milton complimented.

Beth smiled at him. "Thanks, I'm glad it's one thing I love that I can still do now."

"It's a great for us, not just you, so I'm glad you can too."

They hugged briefly and when Beth pulled away she said, "y'know, things like this are a great way to get to know someone better. It's been over a year, Andrea's going to start to think you don't like her."

Milton blushed a little and coughed awkwardly. It had become clear to everyone that they were stepping out of that friends zone and into so much more, the two of them were just taking their time with it. He eventually gave her a nod of agreement before going back to work, still nodding his head as he went. Beth chuckled to herself as she moved over to where Carl was watching Judith walk around chasing a ball that she kicked in front of her.

"She's getting too smart," Beth commented.

"Tell me about it," Carl sighed. "I feel like I've aged a lifetime already. I love her but she's so mischievous and such a handful as it is. I can only imagine what she'll be like in a few years."

"Alive, preferably."

Carl looked up, a small smile on his face as he nodded. "Congrats by the way."

"Thanks." She placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. She and Carl had always been close. Over the past year they had fallen into the capability of saying so much to each other without actually speaking.

They shared a brief smile before she went over to Rick and Carol. They stopped speaking when she reached them. Carol hugged her first. When they pulled apart Carol fixed Beth's hair a little.

"Merle Dixon is a lucky man, I hope he knows that."

"I think Daryl's made sure he knows that," Beth chuckled.

Carol smiled fondly. "Yeah, that sounds like Daryl."

"Trust me," Rick said as he came over and hugged her. "Merle knows when he's got a good thing."

"I've got a good thing too."

They hugged for a bit longer. Rick eventually kissed the top of her head before they stepped back from each other. She gave them both a soft smile before she went over to where Hershel, Maggie and Glenn were. She leaned down to hug her father who gave her a soft, reassuring smile. When she pulled away he held her hand for a moment.

"It's my fatherly right to ask you for the millionth time if you're sure."

"I'm sure," she promised. "Are you sure?"

"Merle has done a lot to prove himself," Hershel admitted. "He's done a lot for you and he continues to. I couldn't be more sure if I tried."

Beth gave a thankful smile to her father before turning to Maggie and Glenn. "And you two?"

"I have to admit he's a hell of a lot nicer to me than he used to be," Glenn said.

"As long as our promises still stand I can't wait for the wedding," Maggie said, grinning as she did.

Glenn was always a little reluctant, mostly it was due to his shock over Merle actually being nice to him. The pair of them never fully got on but they were civil to each other. Although Maggie was still a little concerned she was generally a lot more open to the relationship than she was a year ago. Beth couldn't be happier to think that she wouldn't have separate families but one big one. All of them getting on was the only thing that mattered to her.

"I'm glad you're all getting along," Beth told them thankfully.

They stayed there for a while just talking. When it was time to eat they stopped to get some food and a couple of drinks. Between it all they danced a little as Will played the guitar and Maggie even sung a song with Beth. She spent a good portion of the night with them, listening to what they had to say and even mentioning that she might go to Woodbury one day for a bit now that she knew Will.

When it started to get dark enough to light some candles Beth said her goodbyes and moved away. Merle, Daryl and Martinez were over by the stairs. Daryl and Martinez were sat on the steps while Merle leaned against the railing. There were beer bottles and empty plates on the floor and they were talking away to each other. It didn't surprise Beth that they had chosen to sit out at the back.

"Hello stranger," Martinez joked as she stopped in front of them.

"I take it you boys are staying out of the way?"

They all looked passed her and nodded their heads. She chuckled as she looked over her shoulder. There wasn't that many of them, it only looked busy because the space was small. The only new addition was Gordon who had come in to check on Will. Everyone was chatting and even dancing or bobbing along as Will played the guitar.

"We were just finding out how nervous Merle is," Martinez said as she looked back at them.

"He was lost for words," Daryl commented.

"I ain't nervous," Merle muttered.

"Of course you're not," Beth said. She tried not to smile as she stepped over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

He put an arm around her. "At least someone ain't givin' me hassle." Merle moved away from the railing. Beth turned around so that her back was against his chest and Merle wrapped his arms around her.

"Hiding behind her already?" Martinez laughed.

"That ain't gonna work brother," Daryl said, that signature Dixon smirk in place as he pointed at Merle. "Wait till we're out huntin', she ain't gonna be there to stick up for ya."

"Ya'll gonna wish that you had someone to stick up for ya when I kick your ass," Merle muttered.

Daryl and Martinez both chuckled at him as they leaned down to grab their beers.

"Seriously though, you okay?" Martinez asked Beth.

"Never better," Beth said happily as she leaned back into Merle. She noted the way Martinez' body relaxed at her words.

He still worried about her. Whenever she and Merle had had a fight it was Martinez who knew about it. He would either find her or she would find him. Even when she was crying he wouldn't say a thing. He would take her to the showers and sit outside the door until she was finished. He would then take her back to his cell seen as she now shared hers with Merle. When they got there they would lie on the bottom bunk and talk a little or just lay there in silence. Martinez would hold her hand or make sure their arms were touching in order to keep her calm. If Beth was ever to have a best friend she never would have guessed in a million years that it would have been Martinez. She was pretty glad he was it though.

"He do anythin' wrong come and find me, okay?"

She nodded her head at Daryl. The two of them had grown closer ever since she and Merle had become official. Although Daryl was never one to have deep, meaningful conversations with her not that long after their relationship started Daryl dragged Beth aside. At first they spoke and he wanted to make sure that she knew what she was getting herself into. When he was convinced that she was in this willingly and that she was sure he moved on to reassure her. He promised that as long as he was around he would make sure Merle knew his place, that he would never become too cocky and change how he was with her. Daryl made Beth promise that if Merle ever over-stepped the line that she was to come to him. If anything ever went wrong, not even just with Merle, she was to go to him for help.

"And me," Martinez added.

"I'll have no reason to come and find you guys, but yes, okay."

Merle grinned as he placed his chin on top of Beth's head. His hand rested on her stomach, pulling her back further into him. His fingers ghosted over her, tickling her slightly. Beth couldn't help but smile as she placed her hand over his in an attempt to stop him. As they struggled softly Beth began to realise how happy she really was. The world around her was blindingly obvious and even when there were times of disaster for the group she tried not to let it affect her too much and if it did she tried to take it in her stride. She did everything she had learned to keep herself afloat but for the most part she found that she was the happiest she had ever been. Anything in her life could go wrong again. They could find another Governor, someone in their group could get hurt, anything and everything could happen but for now she couldn't be happier. All that life she lost back in Woodbury had slowly come back into her and manifested. Not only was she happy but she was stronger. She trained most days to keep her strength up and even her skill. Beth was at a point in her life that she could survive all by herself, but she didn't want to.

Beth laughed loudly as Merle moved his head to her shoulder and tugged her hair with his teeth. She tried to wriggle away from him but Merle wrapped his arms around her tighter and dragged her back a little to distract her. Between her laughter and feeble attempts she tried not to hit Martinez or Daryl with her feet. Eventually she got away and twirled around to face him. She hit him on the chest, both of them laughing as she did. Merle grabbed her arm and tugged her in. Their lips connected and with as much passion as either of them could muster they told themselves everything they needed to through that kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_So, this is it, the end. I've been writing this for a while and I hope you all enjoyed it. I got a few requests for a wedding and even a baby. I know that not everyone likes that kind of thing so I settled for an in-between by going for the engagement and hinting at the wedding. I couldn't help but add in the other characters as well. I really do hope you guys liked it and I would love to know what you thought! I want to thank you all for all that you've said in reviews and the response this story has gotten in general. I can't believe the reviews, the follows and favourites that it has. They mean a lot and if I could I would give every singly one of you a huge_ _hug!_

**(Fun) Fact: **_That last little paragraph at the end of this was a re-worked/inspired version of the beginning of chapter 1 :)_


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